loathsome creatures

Posted on February 28, 2014 by greg

Seriously, this shit surprised me. I mean, I know there are ~~some~~ a lot of Republicans in Congress who are ideological dicks more interested in making political points than in participating in the actual process of governing the fucking nation. But THIS? This is some outrageous shit, is what this is.

I’m talking about Senate Bill 1982. The Comprehensive Veterans Health and Benefits and Military Retirement Pay Restoration Act of 2014. It’s not what you’d call a sexy title, but this bill — had it passed — would have provided US$21 billion of extra coin over the next decade to expand military health benefits (including mental health treatment). It would have increased veteran education benefits. It would have expanded job training programs.

Senator Saxby Chambliss, mewling canker-brained minnow-hearted fuckwit Republican from Georgia voted No

The bill — had it passed — would have done a lot of small things that would make military service somewhat less onerous. If, say, a National Guard member was a licensed electrician and his license expired while he was deployed in Afghanistan, this bill would protect that license and extend the time in which it could be renewed. It would protect troops whose apartment leases expired while they were on deployment. It would forestall home foreclosures until troops could return from deployment and give them some time to get their financial matters straightened out. Little shit like that matters to ordinary folks.

But the bill didn’t pass. It didn’t pass because Senate Republicans blocked it. Seriously. Why did they block it? Bullshit reasons, that’s why. Some objected to the inclusion of ‘reproductive treatment and services’ based on some incomprehensible Jeebus-sparked twaddle. But here’s the thing — if some poor bastard gets his cojones shredded by an IED on a road in Helmand Province, but still wants to have a family, Jeebus ain’t going to plant no baby in his wife’s womb. Medical science will do that.

Senator Bob Corker, pampered leech-nurtured addle-pate Republican from Tennessee voted No

Some Republicans were concerned about the cost. Of course, they weren’t terribly concerned about the cost of going to war. And, of course, they’re all supportive of the new Lockheed-Martin F-35 Strike fighter — which, so far, is US$163 billion over budget and seven years behind schedule. But $21 billion stretched out over ten years for veterans? Too fucking expensive.

Even worse (and lawdy, you wouldn’t think there could be anything worse than denying a guy who left his balls in a combat zone the right to have a family), the Republicans tried adding some totally unrelated, politically motivated bullshit amendments to the bill. Like sanctions against Iran and some nonsense dealing with that Most Giant of Political Turds, Benghazi.

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, fawning pasty-hearted dissembling pig’s bladder Republican from Alabama voted No — and Benghazi!

Even so, 56 Senators voted in favor of the bill. Only 41 voted against it. That’s right, a minority — all Republicans — were able to kill a bill that would help veterans. And this was as bipartisan a bill as is possible in this insane tea-party environment. More than two dozen of the provisions in the bill were Republican ideas.

But they still killed it. Not because it was a bad bill. They killed it for political reasons. For ideological reasons.

Senator Chuck Grassley, spongy po-faced corn-fed fustilarian Republican from Iowa voted No

I’m sure, if you asked, all forty-one of those senators would claim to support the troops. I’m sure they all think of themselves as patriots. I’m pretty confident (though I haven’t bothered to check) all of them were (and probably still are) supportive of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

For them to vote against this bill is contemptible. It’s despicable and disgraceful. These people should be ashamed to be photographed in front of the flag. They should be forced to visit VA hospitals and explain their votes to the men and women there. They should be held up for ridicule and scorn by everybody who truly supports the troops. And since these people undoubtedly consider themselves to be Christians, they should suffer the most appalling of Biblical curses.

These are loathsome creatures.

two related but separate things

Posted on December 23, 2013 by greg

First thing: I’ve gotten several comments over the past few days suggesting that the only way to stop school shootings is to put armed guards in every school (and/or arm the teachers and school administrators and support staff). This is not entirely stupid. It’s pretty damned stupid — especially the notion of arming teachers and janitors and other school employees — but it’s not entirely stupid.

The sad fact, however, is that there have been armed guards present in many of the mass murders in recent years — not just in schools but in other public venues. They just don’t prevent these events from happening. That’s true for several reasons.

First, for the most part the shooters in these events don’t expect to survive. These shootings are often elaborate suicides, intended to make as many people as possible as miserable as the shooter is. Knowing there’s an armed guard present doesn’t dissuade a shooter who doesn’t intend to come out alive. Second, the firearms most often used in these shootings are semi-automatic weapons. Combine the ability for rapid fire with large capacity magazines, and you have a situation in which a shooter can kill a lot of people in an alarmingly short time.

Robert Steinhauser — 13 teachers, 2 students, 1 police officer– 10 minutes

Adam Lanza killed 20 children and 6 adults in less than 10 minutes. Thomas Hamilton killed 16 children and an adult in about 4 minutes. Robert Steinhauser killed 13 teachers, 2 students, and a police officer in 10 minutes. Seung-Hui Cho killed 30 Virginia Tech students in around 11 minutes. They weren’t able to kill that many people in that short a time because they were superior marksmen; they were able to do it by firing a LOT of rounds.

We’re no longer talking about the ‘classic’ Charles Whitman-style mass murderer. Whitman climbed the clock tower at the University of Texas in Austin and methodically, almost leisurely, picked off his victims. He killed 17 and wounded 32 others over the course of an hour and a half. In today’s mass murderers, the emphasis is on mass.

Thomas Hamilton – 16 children, 1 adult – 4 minutes

Guards with weapons won’t prevent these mass shootings, but they will almost certainly reduce the body count — and that’s a good thing. But why not take other steps that can help reduce the body count? Why not limit the capacity of ammunition magazines? Every time a shooter has to pause to reload, there’s a chance for victims to escape and for courageous bystanders to act (Jared Loughner — 6 dead and 13 wounded in around two minutes — was tackled by a wounded bystander when he was forced to reload his pistol).

Adam Lanza – 20 children, 6 adults – 10 minutes (plus 1 earlier)

Why not require stricter background checks before letting a person purchase a firearm? Why not require background checks at gun shows? The weapons bought at gun shows are just as lethal as those bought through a licensed gun dealer.Why not require states to report and share mental health records with the FBI’s National Instant Criminal Background Check System? Currently only 27 states have laws that allow (or require) them to report mental health records — and many of those states fail to do so because of state budgetary reasons.

Seung-Hui Cho — 30 students – 9 minutes (plus 2 earlier)

None of those things — armed guards, universal background checks, limits on large capacity magazines, mental health information — will stop mass murders and mass shootings from taking place, but each of them will have some effect on the body count. By combining several (or better yet, all) of those measures, we can reduce the body count even further.

Second Thought: Claire Davis died. She was the young woman Karl Pierson shot in the head ten days ago. I took a moderate amount of crap for suggesting that “nobody other than her friends and family will remember her in a couple of weeks.” That’s a horrible thing to say. It’s all the more horrible because it’s true. It won’t be very long before there’s another school shooting — or some other mass casualty event — with a new set of innocent victims. And for a few days, the names of the victims will be in the public eye, and then they’ll be forgotten in turn.

There have been 22 school shootings so far this year, resulting in 19 fatalities and 34 wounded. Do we remember any of their names? There have been 351 mass shootings so far this year — 351 incidents in which at least four people were wounded or killed. Most of them don’t result in multiple deaths, but they easily could. Do we remember any of their names?

Claire Davis — not a statistic

Their friends and family members remember them. For the rest of us, they’re numbers. It doesn’t lessen the pain felt by the family and friends of the victims. Nothing can. That pain can only be exacerbated by the ugly fact that their loved ones are reduced to mere statistics.

We can reduce those numbers. Maybe not by much, but we can reduce them. We can reduce them without damaging the Sacred Second Amendment. We really can reduce the body count.

But we don’t.

Update: I incorrectly located the Seung-Hui Cho mass murder at the University of Virginia; in fact, it was at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (more commonly called Virginia Tech).

nobody pays much attention

Posted on November 9, 2013 by greg

In the United States, November 11 is called Veterans Day. In other parts of the world it’s called Remembrance Day or Armistice Day. The latter is appropriate since it celebrates the anniversary of the day hostilities formally ceased in the First World War. The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918.

Ninety-five years. And what have we learned? Aside from more efficient and more impersonal methods for killing, not a hell of a lot. We’re still fighting wars, we’re still fighting them for the same stupid reasons, and at the behest of the same powerful business and political interests. Young men and women are still killing and dying in foreign lands. And nobody is paying much attention.

U.S. Army Pfc. Michael W. Daley Jr. (right) and Pfc. Travis B. Woolwine, both Soldiers with 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), scan their surroundings while on patrol in Paktya Province, Afghanistan / Photo by Sgt. Justin Moeller

U.S. Army Pfc. Michael W. Daley Jr. (right) and Pfc. Travis B. Woolwine, with 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), scan their surroundings while on patrol in Paktya Province, Afghanistan / Photo by Sgt. Justin Moeller

As of this date, 402 troops have died fighting in Afghanistan this year. Most of those (310) were US troops, but soldiers and marines from the UK, from Poland, from Georgia (the former Soviet state), from Romania and Slovakia and Italy and Germany and Australia have also been killed.

In the last few days 42-year-old Warrant Officer Ian Fisher of Barking, Essex in England was killed in an IED attack in Lashkar Gah in Helmund Province. Army Sergeant 1st Class Forrest Robertson, 35 years old, of Westmoreland, Kansas was killed by small arms fire in Pul-i-Alam in Kogar Province — also known as Bab al-Jihad, the Gates of Jihad, because of the savage fighting between Soviet troops and mujahideen during the Soviet-Afghan war. Army Specialist Angel Lopez, 27, from Parma, Ohio was killed by small arms fire in a Green on Blue attack in Zabul Province. Twelve deaths in the first nine days this month. The youngest was 19 years old. Nineteen years old — Jeremiah Collins of Milwaukee wasn’t even old enough to buy a beer. Dead, 7000 miles from home, in service to his country.

US Army Spc. Kevin Jackson, 4th Squadron, 9th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Armored Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, pulls security during a reconnaissance mission in a village south of Forward Operating Base Fenty, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, Sept. 8, 2013 / Photo by Sgt. Margaret Taylor

All of those troop who’ve died have families and friends, they have fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, they have wives and husbands and children. Outside of their families and friends, hardly anybody will notice those deaths. Because nobody, really, is paying much attention.

I mentioned this earlier in the year. At that point there were about 70,000 US troops serving in Afghanistan; today there are about 60,000. Combat operations by US troops are slated to end in late 2014 — but even then the US will likely leave between 15,000 and 30,000 troops in the region. And be sure of this: some of them will be fighting and dying.

Cpl. Zachery K. Arrowood with 1st Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, provides security during a patrol in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 12, 2013. The patrol was conducted to disrupt enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. Zachery B. Martin

There’s still only one media outlet that routinely pays attention to the troops serving in combat zones — the liberal muckraking magazine Mother Jones. They still publish their brilliant photo series We’re Still at War: Photo of the Day. I don’t know how many people bother to look at the photos. Not enough. Not nearly enough.

Why? Because the war is primarily being fought by strangers — by people we don’t know and don’t care about. Historically, wars have always been fought primarily by the poor and working class. Officers, of course, usually come from the middle classes, but most of the killing and dying has been done by the underclasses. The demands of twelve years of war — the longest war in US history — have exacerbated that problem. The gap between the people who initiate the wars and the people who actually fight them is greater now than ever before. And the mass in the middle — which includes most of the American public — are estranged from both groups. And so when a soldier gets killed in some dusty desert, very few people are affected, and nobody pays much attention.

Marines and Georgian Soldiers with 33rd Georgian Battalion exit an MV-22 Osprey aircraft during an operation in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Sept. 23, 2013. Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 165 provided the service members with aerial support during the operation / Photo by Cpl. Ashley E. Santy

On Monday — Veterans Day — I’ll meet with my brother and my cousin, both of whom served in the Marines, and we’ll attend a breakfast given by a local grocery store chain (Hy-Vee), just as we’ve done for the last few years. There’ll be a lot of old veterans there — a handful from World War II, a few from Korea, some from Viet Nam and Iraq and Afghanistan. The food will be mediocre — but better than what we’d have gotten in the mess hall back when we were in uniform.

Nobody will be there just for the food. We’ll all be there because we’re veterans, and on this one day some folks will pay attention. Most of the veterans sitting down to breakfast will have scars, physical or emotional. Some will be missing limbs. And every one of us will, at some point, remember somebody who was wounded or killed.

Marines with 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, patrol near Forward Operating Base Musa Qala, Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 19, 2013. The Marines of 3/7 patrolled to reduce enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. James Mast

As we enter and leave the breakfast venue, the volunteers from the grocery store will thank us for our service. And they’ll be sincere, because they’re working people. Some of them will be veterans themselves, or have family members who have served or are still serving. During the day a lot of politicians will also give public thanks for our service. Some of them will be sincere and some of them will mean it. Damned few of them, though, will actually understand what service to the country means. It means sacrifice. When most politicians speak about sacrifice, they’re talking about other people.

On Tuesday the 12th, the world will forget us for another year. Troops in Afghanistan will continue to go out on patrol. Some of them will get wounded. Some will get killed. And nobody will pay much attention.

Editorial note: The photos above were shot by members of the military, and published in Mother Jones magazine.

the distillation of stupid

Posted on October 28, 2013 by greg

Let’s just admit it — Ronald Reagan was a colossal fuckwit. The guy believed trees and plants caused more pollution than automobiles; he claimed “There is no word for ‘freedom’ in the Russian language”; he apparently thought nuclear missiles, once fired, could be recalled; on two different public occasions he stated he’d personally assisted in liberating some of the Nazi death camps during WWII.

None of those things are true. None of them. Trees don’t create pollution, there is a Russian word for ‘freedom’ (svoboda), nuclear missiles can’t be recalled for fuck’s sake, and Reagan spent the war in Hollywood making training films for the U.S. Army.

President Ronald Reagan, colossal fuckwit

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not angry or upset that Reagan was a colossal fuckwit. He was also a genial and amusing fuckwit, and he handled getting shot with astonishing grace, humor and courage. But I am angry and upset that he shaped the modern Cone of Crazy that constitutes the Tea Party by convincing them that the following is true:

Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem.

It’s this belief — even more than his complete disregard for science and his total abandonment of rationality — that’s put the U.S. in the position it’s in (and the position we’re in is the oh-lawdy-we-are-so-fucked position).

Government isn’t a solution to ALL of our problems, true. But without county, state, and federal governments we’d be even fuckeder. That’s a fact.

You may hate your morning commute, but it’s made easier and quicker because of the Interstate Highway system. Most of the food you eat, most of the shoes you buy, most of the iPods you listen to, most of the computers you’re reading this on — all delivered to you on a highway. Who built that highway? The Federal Fucking Government, that’s who. Who paid for it? You did, through taxes on gasoline, taxes on cars and trucks, taxes on tires. Whose idea was it? President Dwight Eisenhower — another Republican who wouldn’t stand a chance in the modern GOP.

See that pothole? Who’s going to fix it? You? No fucking way. The Tea Party? Yeah, when yellow bats fly out my ass. No, you see a pothole and you’re on the phone calling the local government, demanding they come repair the damned thing. And they will. Maybe not immediately — but you know why it’ll take so long? Because of asshats who think their taxes are too high and the government is the problem, that’s why.

See that commercial airliner? You know why it’s not plummeting straight into the ground like a giant fucking lawn dart? Because of the government, that’s why. The Federal Aviation Administration requires commercial aircraft to be safe, requires pilots to be trained and licensed, requires pilots to abide by air-traffic rules, requires inspections of aircraft, and basically regulates the hell out of the commercial aircraft industry.

You want to fly under Tea Party conditions? Try Iran Air or Pakistan Airlines, both of which has Texas-style safety regulations — and whose air safety records are 312% and 373% worse than the most unsafe U.S. airline.

See that sign on the restaurant door? Know why you’re seeing it? Because the damned government is inspecting kitchens to make sure they’re safe. Know why you don’t see these signs very often? Because the damned government is doing the inspections. Know why we’ve had more outbreaks of food poisoning recently? Because of Tea Party fuckwits who hate government and champion unregulated commerce.

Ronald Reagan said:

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

You know why FEMA fucked up the disaster relief during Hurricane Katrina? Because President George W. Bush believed Reagan. Because Bush believed government service was a joke. Because Bush put a guy in charge of FEMA whose work experience consisted of running the International Arabian Horse Association. George Bush made Reagan’s words come true.

This is the legacy of Ronald Reagan — a political party that hates government, that wants political power without having to engage in actual governance, that actively seeks to make government dysfunctional, and then complains that government doesn’t work.

Ronald Reagan was a moderately bad president. George W. Bush was significantly worse. And who are the most influential people in the modern GOP? Who are the heirs of the Reagan legacy? These two.

Thanks, Reagan.

media blackout

Posted on October 14, 2013 by greg

As you probably know, over the weekend ~~a million~~ ~~twenty thousand~~ ~~eighteen hundred~~ ~~more than two hundred~~ almost a dozen truckers ~~shut down America~~ ~~engaged in a powerful civil protest~~ circled the Washington, DC beltway a few times. You may not have heard a great deal about this courageous stance in face of tyranny because of the widespread mainstream media blackout..

Shutting down America

Also over the weekend a ~~million military veterans~~ ~~several thousand veterans~~ ~~nearly four hundred people (some of whom might be veterans)~~ few dozen members of the Tea Party rallied at the World War II monument on the Mall under the leadership of Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin, then marched on the White House where they ~~impeached the president~~ stood around for a while and waved a Confederate flag. You may not have heard a great deal about this courageous stance in face of tyranny because of the widespread mainstream media blackout.

On the way to impeach the president

See, this is the disadvantage of living under tyranny. Widespread mainstream media blackouts make it really hard to shutdown America and impeach the president. Also, it rained — which always puts a damper on a revolution. But so long as millions of real and true Americans are willing to stand up bravely and defy a dictator who is ~~a negro~~ ~~a communist~~ ~~a Muslim~~ ~~a foreigner~~ trying to force affordable healthcare down our throats, then…then…you know, freedom and Benghazi. For all. Amen.

thwarting all over the place

Posted on October 10, 2013 by greg

As we all know, truckers are going to shut down America this coming weekend and arrest all those members of Congress who are violating the U.S. Constitution by not impeaching President Obama for being a secret Muslim. Also Benghazi. And fuck healthcare in the neck.

Freedom! Benghazi! Guns and Bibles!

At least that was the plan. But you guys, that plan may be thwarted. Totally thwarted! According to a real actual article written by Glenn Ryt on RedState.com, “unknown White House officials” have approved a plan by the Department of Transportation to use the National Guard “to thwart the three day Trucker slowdown.” See? They’re going to thwart!

How is this traitorous thwarting going to happen? The National Guard will shut down the I-95 Capital Beltway.

The National Guard resources to be used to thwart the truckers will include rifle toting National Guardsmen called up from units that will be coming in from Maryland, Pennsylvania and Virginia. They will use Guardsmen on foot and using trucks, jeeps and armored vehicles, which will be stationed at all entrance ramps to the Beltway to block incoming traffic starting early Friday morning.

Rifle toting and thwarting, you guys. Armored vehicles at ALL ENTRANCE RAMPS to the beltway! All of them, every single one. We know this is totally going to happen on account of “the paucity of information” on the DOT’s website. They’re trying to hide their plans for trucker-thwarting. The DOT website claims “[D]uring the government shutdown, some online content may not be updated on a regular basis.” You see? DO YOU SEE?

Second Amendment! Drill drill drill! Fuck healthcare!

That can only mean one thing: the National Guard is totally going to shut down the beltway. This overtly traitorous act is only possible because Obama the Muslim closed down the government — and he did it just before the truckers were scheduled to arrive in the District of Columbia. Coincidence?

Now, you may be asking yourself “Why would Obama shut down the entire government in order to allow the National Guard to shut down the beltway in order to prevent the truckers from shutting down the beltway, thereby shutting down the entire government?” SHUT UP!

Thwarted!

Anyway, you guys, I know it’s disappointing, but it’s possible the truckers might have to abandon their plan. They may not be able to shut down America after all. All those Congressional traitors might not get arrested. On account of the thwarting.

this guy, again

Posted on October 8, 2013 by greg

I’ve written about this guy before. His name is Paul Broun, he’s a Republican from Georgia (though if Texas ever runs out of nitwits — which seems unlikely — this guy could easily be a Republican from Texas), and he’s got something important to say.

“America is going to be destroyed by Obamacare, so whatever deal is put together must at least reschedule the implementation of Obamacare. This law is going to destroy America and everything in America, and we need to stop it.”

Yeah, I know it sounds like he’s talking about some sort of Extinction Level Event, like an asteroid smacking into the Earth, instead of a health care system…but that’s Paul Broun. The guy has no sense of proportion. Hell, he’s got no sense at all.

Paul Broun, Republican, and some animals he killed and ate.

This guy has told his constituents that he believes President Obama might use a natural disaster or a pandemic to institute martial law and rule the U.S. as a dictator. You might think that would encourage Broun to support a health care system that covers more people, since it would reduce the odds of a pandemic…but no, not this guy. He’s even compared passage of the Affordable Care Act to the ~~American Civil War~~ “Great War of Yankee Aggression.”

You have to ask, just how did this guy get to be so bonehead stupid? The answer is he’s stupid because he believes God wants him to be stupid. He believes God wants you to be stupid too, and wants the government to be run stupidly. If you want a government run by morons, then Paul Broun is your kind of guy.

All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell. It’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who are taught that from understanding that they need a savior. There’s a lot of scientific data that I found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I believe that the Earth is about 9,000 years old. I believe that it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says. And what I’ve come to learn is that it’s the manufacturer’s handbook, is what I call it. It teaches us how to run our lives individually. How to run our families, how to run our churches. But it teaches us how to run all our public policy and everything in society. And that’s the reason, as your congressman, I hold the Holy Bible as being the major directions to me of how I vote in Washington, D.C.

There you go. This guy says the Bible teaches us how to run public policy. Except for that icky business about “I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you took me in, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” Because c’mon, that’s like Socialism.

Paul Broun, Republican, and another animal he killed and ate.

Did I mention this guy is a doctor? Yeah, a doctor. A doctor who believes embryology is a lie from the Pit of Hell. He went to the Medical College of Georgia, the 13th oldest medical school in the U.S. For reasons I fail to understand, they haven’t asked him to return his diploma. Also too, because he’s a Republican who is bonehead stupid AND opposed to science on principle, this guy sits on the House Committee on Science and Technology.

So of course he has an opinion on climate change…and yes, of course, it’s stupid.

Scientists all over this world say that the idea of human-induced global climate change is one of the greatest hoaxes perpetrated out of the scientific community. It is a hoax. There is no scientific consensus.

No consensus other than the 97% of climate scientists who say humans are having a dramatic negative impact on the climate.

Oh, and by the way, all those dead animals in his Congressional office? He killed them and ate them. No, no…I’m not kidding. You see, the Bible apparently says it’s okay to hunt animals for food, but not for sport. So if you kill a lion, you have to eat it. Or part of it. Otherwise you might as well be supporting Obamacare and the Devil.

“If I shoot it, I’m gonna eat it. I had roast warthog, it was cooked in a French style. [The lion] wasn’t particularly tasty. It was kind of chewy, but I ate it.”

Now, you may be asking yourself ‘Does this guy have some sort of organic brain damage?” It’s a good question. Part of the answer might be in the way Broun found his way to Jeebus.

He was 40 years old, drunk at an NFL football game, having problems with his fourth wife, and he saw another guy in the stadium…the famous Rainbow Man…a guy wearing a rainbow wig and a t-shirt that said John 3:16. A couple of weeks later, after fighting with his wife, Broun picked up a Bible, read the verse, decided to quit drinking and dedicated his life to Jeebus.

Stewart Rollen, Rainbow Man

This guy Broun went on to become a lunatic member of Congress. The other guy, Stewart Rollen, the Rainbow Man, went on to become a lunatic inmate in the California Penal system, serving three life sentences for kidnapping. You know those mysterious ways God is said to work in? This must be one of them.

You want the really bad news? In the last election, Broun ran unopposed. Unopposed. The Democrats couldn’t find anybody willing to challenge this guy. Even so, on election night there were around 4000 write-in votes for Charles Darwin.

Seriously. I’m not making any of this up. We live in a very weird fucking world, people. Very weird indeed.

government shutdown explained in two quotes

Posted on October 3, 2013 by greg

Marlin Andrew Stutzman is a Republican member of the United States House of Representatives. He represents the 13th District in Indiana.

Marlin Stutzman, Republican, Indiana

“We’re not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this. And I don’t know what that even is.”

Don Fanucci is an extortionist for the Black Hand in Little Italy. He represents the Sicilian mobster Maranzalla.

Don Fanucci, Extortionist, Black Hand

“This is my neighborhood. You and your friends should show me some respect. You should let me wet my beak a little… Tell your friends I don’t want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak.”

It’s that simple.

gregfallis.com

it's this or get a real job

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