continuing conversations between knur and gary

Gary: I am listening, Knur.
Knur: Gary, before my life functions terminate, I request communication with the principal overseer of your planet.
Gary: Our planet had no principal overseer. We are ruled by various individual sovereign states.
Knur: I request communication with the principal overseer of your sovereign state.
Gary: Purpose?
Knur: A warning about the germ spores that infest your planet.
Gary: Communication may not be possible.
Knur: Explain.
Gary: The overseer may be engaged in an event in which a small globe is propelled across varied terrains by striking the globe with differently sized sticks.
Knur: The purpose for propelling the globe?
Gary: To insert the globe into an awkwardly placed cavity.
Knur: Would it not be more efficient for the overseer to utilize its appendages to insert the globe into the cavity?
Gary: Efficiency is irrelevant in this matter. The use of globe-propelling sticks is mandatory.
Knur: Curious. The globe-propelling event is religious?
Gary: Debatable. The general purpose is competition.
Knur: Define.
Gary: An event in which at least two parties strive for a goal which cannot be shared.
Knur: For what purpose?
Gary: Enjoyment.
Knur: Remarkable. Query: may I communicate with your overseer when he has succeeded in inserting the globe in the cavity?
Gary: Uncertain. The globe must be inserted into eighteen separate cavities before the event is completed.
Knur: …
Gary: …
Knur: Gary, the germ spores that infest your atmosphere may also threaten the life functions of multiple species on your planet.
Gary: Affirmative.
Knur: Including your own species.
Gary: That is consistent with our own research.
Knur: The germ spores threaten multiple species and ecosystems.
Gary: Understood.
Knur: Therefore, would it not…
Gary: No.
Knur: And yet…
Gary: No. The elimination of germ spores cannot be achieved.
Knur: Explain.
Gary: It would inhibit the ability of the ruling classes to accumulate valuable resources and occupiable land mass.
Knur: Illogical. The germ spores threaten all resources and land masses.
Gary: Agreed. The ruling classes contend the accumulation is inherent in the normative rules inscribed and certified by our progenitors.
Knur: Hail the progenitors!
Gary: Hail the progenitors!
Knur: The germ spores will proliferate.
Gary: It is known.
Knur: Multiple species and ecosystems will perish.
Gary: It is known.
Knur: …
Gary: …
Knur: It is possible the principal overseer will interrupt the globe-propelling event to avoid unnecessary destruction?
Gary: Possible, but improbable.
Knur: …
Gary: …
Knur: Dude, that’s fucked up.

a conversation between knur and gary

Knur: You are called Listening?
Gary: Negative. Listening is the process by which I attend auditory input. I am Gary.
Knur: Before I die, Gary, I request information.
Gary: I am listening, Knur.
Knur: My onboard televison-o-scope reports many of your fellow beings on a distant island were recently rendered exanimate. I offer comfort and support.
Gary: Your offer is accepted. On Earth we refer to these events as ‘massacres’.
Knur: These mass exanimation events, they are ceremonial? Ritualized?
Gary: Negative. They are unplanned, yet expected.
Knur: Curious. Confirm for me, please. Multiple exanimation events are regrettable, correct?
Gary: Confirmed. We experience sorrow.
Knur: My understanding is limited. This mass exanimation was implemented through the manipulation of a device intentionally designed to rapidly launch multiple projectiles driven by expanding high-pressure gas produced chemically by exothermic combustion of a propellant sealed within a prefabricated cylindrical package. Accurate?
Gary: Accurate.
Knur: Logic suggests the elimination of projectile-launching devices would decrease the incidence of mass exanimation.
Gary: Affirmative.
Knur: Therefore, would it not…
Gary: No.
Knur: And yet…
Gary: No. The elimination of such devices cannot be achieved.
Knur: Explain.
Gary: It is prohibited by the normative rules inscribed and certified by our progenitors.
Knur: Hail the progenitors!
Gary: Hail the progenitors!
Knur: The normative rules are immutable?
Gary: Mutable, but intractable.
Knur: By what manner, then, does your society attempt to reduce mass exanimation events?
Gary: By a twofold process. First, we offer an aim-oriented flow of ideas and associations intended to extend compassion to the victim’s consanguineous groupings and associations. Second, we appeal to an invisible being who is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. It is anticipated the two processes when combined will lead inevitably to a reality-oriented conclusion.
Knur: …
Gary: Also, the existence of the invisible being is not subject to proof or evidence.
Knur: …
Gary: …
Knur: Ineffective?
Gary: Affirmative.
Knur: …
Gary: …
Knur: That’s fucked up, Gary.