Really? Communists…again? It’s 2026 and we’re fretting about Commies? The Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, thirty-five years ago, and yet here’s Comrade President Donald Trump, Putin’s puppy, speaking at Mount Rushmore a couple of weeks ago:

[C]ommunism is a mortal threat to American liberty. It is the greatest threat to our country, including World War I, World War II, Pearl Harbor or even 9/11.

Why? I mean, sure, Republicans are locked into a revolving Monster-of-the-Month cycle. But why communism, and why now? We’re still at sorta-war with Iran, so if it’s just basic fear-mongering there are plenty of Muslim extremists to point at. As far as that goes, ICE is still rounding up (and/or killing) every brown immigrant (or immigrant-looking person) that comes within arm’s reach. There are a lot of classic MAGA targets handy.

But no. They’re doing Communists again. Why, in the year 2026, are Republicans propping up ancient bones from the freaky 1950s? Nobody is scared of Communists anymore. There doesn’t seem to be any rational (yeah, I know, rationality has nothing to do with it) reason to resurrect the Red Menace.

Unless…

Ask yourself this: what does Trump really want? What does he need? He wants more money, sure, and more power. But I’d argue that what Trump needs is to have his ego fluffed. He needs to be admired, to be respected. He needs to be seen as an historically important figure, to have his name remembered. That’s why he’s pasting his name and face on just about anything that’s stationary—buildings, currency, documents.

I think that desperate need is what’s behind his consistent emphasis on creating a 51st state. Nobody has expanded the US since 1959, when Eisenhower added Alaska and Hawaii to the map. Trump has openly fantasized about making Greenland or Canada as 51st states, but nobody really takes that seriously. Puerto Rico, of course, is right there, but Trump doesn’t like Puerto Rico. Or Puerto Ricans, for that matter.

But Cuba? Cubans are almost…white. At least the ones in Florida are. And Cuban Americans have been reliable Republicans for decades now.

So maybe Cuba…the 51st state?

Let’s face it, you couldn’t ask for a more invadeable sovereign nation than Cuba. First off, it’s convenient. It’s right there, just a few miles off the coast of Florida. Easily reachable by boat or aircraft. And hell, we’ve already got a military base on Cuba. Guantanamo, forty-five square miles of US territory perched on the eastern edge of the island. Perfect for a bit of invasion staging.

And Cuba is weak. Sure, they have a standing army of about 50,000 troops, but c’mon. They’re armed with out-dated military hardware leftover from the Soviet era. Cuba is weak in just about every possible way. They’ve been under an embargo of goods and services since the 1960s. But after his Venezuela romp in February, Trump implemented a more stringent naval blockade of fuel and oil going to Cuba. The island has been without a reliable fuel source for half a year.

The result? The fuel shortage has hampered the harvesting of crops, so we’re talking food shortages. There’s no fuel for public transportation, so it’s more difficult for people to get around. Schools and colleges have closed. The fuel shortage means garbage trucks haven’t been able to collect garbage, creating a public health crisis. Hospitals are not only experiencing electrical blackouts, the embargo has made it difficult to restock their medical supplies. There’s been a dramatic increase in deaths, especially among seniors and infants. Fire trucks and other emergency transportation units have extremely limited abilities to respond.

Trump has created a massive humanitarian crisis in Cuba. It’s entirely on brand for Trump to now declare that ONLY HE can solve Cuba’s problems. It would be best if Cuba’s government invited the US in, but if not…well, the US cannot stand idly by and see the poor people of Cuba suffer. Order must be restored. By force, if necessary.

Oh, did I mention that Cuba is one of the few remaining Communist governments? And suddenly we’re seeing a MAGA resurgence of the horrors of communism. A Trump tells us, it’s a mortal threat to American liberty.

Also? Cuba is a tropical island. A real estate developer’s dream, an ideal location for resorts and casinos and hotels—which are all close to Trump’s heart (or whatever organ he has in place of a heart). Remember, this is a guy who saw the devastation of Gaza and the genocide of Palestinians as an opportunity to acquire beachfront property.

Let’s not forget that from the 1930s to 1959, when the Cuban revolution took place, Cuba was essentially a paradise for organized crime. Didn’t you watch The Godfather Part 2? Would anybody be surprised to learn that Trump’s retirement plan is to set himself up as the Godfather of Cuba?