in which i defend that duck dynasty guy, sorta

I’ve never watched Duck Dynasty, but I see the faces of those guys everywhere. As I understand it (and I admit my understanding is awfully shaky here), it’s a ‘reality’ show about an eccentric Louisiana family who made a fortune by manufacturing duck calls. Now a member of that family, Phil Robertson, has said something moderately stupid and offensive about gay folks. As a result, the network that produces and broadcasts the show has removed him from the show, at least temporarily.

This, to absolutely no surprise, has pissed off a lot of conservative folks. They see the network’s action as an assault on free speech, an attack on Christian values, an insult to conservatives everywhere, and part of the gay agenda war against common decency. And probably some other stuff too.

duck dynasty1

It’s not any of those things. It’s not an assault on free speech; it was his right to free speech that caused this fuss. He freely gave an interview to a magazine, which freely published it, and which anybody who wants to read it can freely buy. It’s not an attack on Christian values; it’s a corporate decision involving Robertson’s contract, which gives the network the right to remove employees if their conduct is seen as harmful to the product (the show and the network, in this case). It’s not an insult to conservatives; it accurately depicts the opinions of a lot of conservatives about homosexuality.And it’s not a part of some mythical gay agenda; gay folks are just as diverse as straight folks, and there’s no more a gay agenda than there is a Christian agenda or an Asian agenda or a football fan agenda.

That said, Robertson has the absolute right to say whatever he wants, and good on him for being honest and open about it. And the network has the absolute right to enforce the contract they have with Robertson. And conservatives have the right to protest his termination, and gay folks have the right to boycott the network if they don’t push back against Robertson.

What this entire incident shows is the system working. Working in a way that’s sloppy, hypocritical, greed-driven, and entirely cynical, but it’s working. That’s capitalism, folks. Conservatives usually champion capitalism, and corporatism, and the right of a business to hire or fire workers as they see fit.

duck dynasty2

And by the way, I don’t recall conservatives being so upset when Alec Baldwin was fired for making anti-gay comments. I don’t recall them being so enraged when Isaiah Washington was fired from Grey’s Anatomy for making anti-gay comments. But Baldwin is something of a liberal, and Washington is black, whereas Robertson is a white conservative hunter with a really magnificent beard.

Personally, I think it’s pretty damned idiotic for a network to produce a ‘reality’ show then object to the reality.

Circumstantially newsworthy

So. Another school shooting. Kid named — well, it doesn’t really matter what his name was, does it. ‘School shooter’, that’s the only way Karl Pierson will ever be referred to from now on. Far as that goes, Karl wasn’t really a kid; he’d turned eighteen. Not old enough to buy beer yet, but old enough to go out and buy the pump-action shotgun and ammunition he used.

This shooting took place around the anniversary of the Sandy Hook slaughter. Which, let’s face it, is why the shooting has been so widely reported. If it had happened, say, three weeks ago, it would have been a local story. The national news media probably wouldn’t bother to report it. It’s a circumstantially newsworthy story.

Name doesn't matter; you'd forget it soon anyway.

Name doesn’t matter; you’d forget it soon anyway.

Nobody famous was involved, the body count was low (just the school shooter Karl), and the entire incident took place in less than two minutes. Yes, a 17-year old girl got shot, but if it weren’t for the Sandy Hook anniversary thing, the national news media would probably have ignored it. Still, they did what they could with what they had. They emphasized the Cute White Girl Who Loved Horses angle, making her a classic innocent victim. They found some really nice high school photos of her. What was her name? Kaylee? Claire? Callie? Something like that — pretty sure it starts with a ‘k’ sound. She got shot in the head. With a shotgun. Nobody wants to hear about that. And nobody other than her friends and family will remember her in a couple of weeks. Same with what’s-his-name, the school shooter. Karl.

Poor Kaitlin/Carly/Courtney wasn’t even the target. She just happened to be sitting there. The guy — you know, Karl — fired five rounds from his shotgun. Three were apparently just random shots down hallways. One took Kirsten/Cameron/Kendall in the head. The last round went into his own. Ninety seconds or so from the first shot to the last, and it was all over. Well, except for the girl — Kassidy/Kimberly/Caryn — who’ll be fucked up for the rest of her life. However long that’ll be.

The local sheriff said he believed what’s-his-name…uh, Karl…shot himself because he heard the approach of the deputy assigned to the school (think about that for a moment; we live in a society that has to assign armed personnel to patrol schools to shoot school shooters — how incredibly fucked up is that?). I don’t know. It seems unlikely to me that in the chaos of those ninety seconds the school shooter Karl would hear — and able to identify the footsteps — of an approaching school cop.

Pump action shotgun; brand doesn't matter -- they all do the same thing

Pump action shotgun; brand doesn’t matter — they all do the same thing

I think it’s more likely he saw what his shotgun had done to Carmen/Kasey/Kelsey and couldn’t live with it. I’ve had the misfortune to see what a shotgun blast can do to the human head. It’s not like it is in the video games young Karl played. It ain’t pretty.

So what happens now? You know the answer to that. Nothing. Oh, politicians will look earnest and say something like “We must do something to keep our children safe,” but nothing will actually happen. Or maybe it will. Maybe they’ll try to find the money to make the doors to classrooms bulletproof, so children will have a secure location to ‘shelter in place’ when the next gunman goes roaming through the hallways. But that would mean raising taxes, so probably not. For certain, we won’t do anything about guns. Because, you know, it would be wrong to punish all responsible law-abiding gun owners because of the actions of some disturbed kid.

Of course, what’s-his-name…young Karl…was assumed to be a responsible law-abiding gun owner when he bought his shotgun. In fact, he was a responsible law-abiding gun owner until he carried his shotgun into the school. And that guy (I don’t remember his name) who killed all those people at the Navy Yard recently? A responsible law-abiding gun owner until he took his weapon out of the car. And the mother of the kid who murdered all those 2nd graders and their teachers in Sandy Hook? Adam Something? She was a responsible law-abiding owner of over a dozen firearms when her boy shot her four times in the head while she was asleep.

That guy at the Navy Yard, no longer a responsible law-abiding gun owner.

That guy at the Navy Yard, no longer a responsible law-abiding gun owner.

That’s the thing, isn’t it. Most mass murderers are responsible law-abiding gun owners up until the moment they start their mass murdering.

Oh well, freedom isn’t free as the gun rights advocates tell us. The occasional school shooting is just the price we have to pay for living in a free society. Well, it’s the price Kaylee has to pay. Chloe? Claire? Whatever.

no, megyn kelly isn’t that stupid

If you’re not aware of it yet, FOX News personality Megyn Kelly (yes, that’s actually how she spells her name and no, that’s not her fault — blame her parents) said something stupid on her show. She was speaking about an article written by Aisha Harris in Slate. Harris wrote about the discontinuity of growing up as an African-American girl and having two Santas — the ubiquitous jolly white guy in the red suit, and “the Santa in my family’s household” who was black. When she asked her father about the two Santas, she got a perfect answer:

My father replied that Santa was every color. Whatever house he visited, jolly old St. Nicholas magically turned into the likeness of the family that lived there.

That’s incredibly sappy, but it’s also a perfectly lovely notion. But nonetheless Ms. Harris grew up feeling “slightly ashamed that our black Santa wasn’t the ‘real thing.'” So in her article she suggests (and I presume this is tongue-in-cheek) that we should abandon the notion of Santa Claus as a human and begin to present him as a penguin.

santa black

It’s too bad, in a way. Harris makes some important and interesting points about the duality of growing up black in what is essentially a white culture. The whole ‘Santa as Penguin’ business rather distracts from that — but still, the article is worth reading.

Enter FOX News in the person of Megyn Kelly. FOX News isn’t in the business of debating interesting social phenomena (nor is FOX News in the business of news, for that matter). FOX News is in the business of being outraged by interesting social phenomena. In a panel discussion about the article, Kelly categorically states that Santa is a white guy. And so, by the way, was Jesus.

Over the last couple of days there’s been an indignant cascade of cheerfully pissed off folks railing against Kelly. They’ve explained in detail the ethnology of the tribal cultures that inhabited Galilee in the first century. They’ve expounded on the symbolic and social evolution of Nikolaos of Myra from a tall, thin, Turkish-Greek priest to the jolly red-suited fat man created by Haddon Sundblom in the 1930s for Coca Cola adverts.

santa white

In effect, folks have been calling Megyn Kelly stupid. Profoundly stupid. Stupid on a galactic scale. People have been suggesting that the sheer mass of Megyn Kelly’s stupidity is so great that it’s capable of affecting tides. But folks, she’s not stupid — not at all. She’s worse than that.

There’s no shame in being stupid or ignorant. If you lack the capacity to be intelligent, it’s not your fault that you’re stupid. If you lack access to accurate information, it’s not your fault that you’re ignorant. If you lack the means to obtain a good education, it’s not your fault that you’re uneducated. The shame is in being willfully stupid, deliberately ignorant, consciously uneducated.

Megyn Kelly is intelligent, has easy access to accurate information, and received a quality education. In other words, the shame begins with the fact that Megyn Kelly works for FOX News.

megyn kelly

It’s her job to be outraged and to engender outrage in others. That’s the FOX News mission — keep their viewers uninformed and angry. Keep them feeling victimized. Because if you’re a victim, then you’re not to blame. If you’re a victim, you have a right to defend yourself. You have the right to defend yourself against minorities who want a non-white Santa. Against gay folks who want marriage equality. Against women who want to control their own reproduction. Against people who believe in evolution. Against anybody who believes differently than you do.

Megyn Kelly isn’t stupid. She’s a willing participant in an organized movement to prevent change. Megyn Kelly isn’t stupid; she’s just getting paid to act that way.

bad news and good news

Okay, first the bad news: Barack Obama is going to seize your children and give them to homosexuals. Then he’s going to take away your guns. Or maybe he’s going to take away your guns and then give your children to homosexuals. That point’s not entirely clear. But I’m absolutely confident it’s your children he’s going to give to homosexuals, not your guns. So there’s that.

Oh, and then he’s going to lead an Army of Black Negros to imprison and/or kill all the white folks.

President Barack Obama (of Kenya, Africa)

President Barack Obama (of Kenya, Africa) wants to take your children.

No, I’m not making this up. This comes directly from the highest possible authority: the intertubes radio show of Stan Solomon. In a highly intellectual discussion of the issue with well-known Advocate for All Sorts of Freedoms, Phyllis Schafly, Solomon reveals the scope of the Obama Child Abduction Program (OCAP):

“I think the next step, they’re going to say ‘We have the right, because you’re mentally in the wrong direction, to take your children, whether they’re in the womb or already born.’  There have been several cases, and it’s gotten very little publicity, where they took the child…and gave that child to a homosexual couple or a homosexual individual. And then that homosexual individual — in every case I’ve seen, a male — has taken the male child — I’m not saying it’s happened in all, or most, but it’s happened in several — they take that male child and they use that child for sexual gratification, and use that child for pornography…and the media won’t even talk about it.”

The media won’t even talk about it, you guys. And you know the media normally loves to talk about the homosexuals. Why so quiet on this issue? Coincidence, or conspiracy?

President Barack Obama (Negro homosexual with godless metal boobs)

President Barack Obama (Negro homosexual with godless metal boobs) will take your guns.

That’s how it starts. First they come for your kids, and then they come for your guns (or, you know, maybe the other way around — let’s not get distracted by those details). Stan Solomon gives us a fair and balanced and totally not-crazy report on what’s inevitably going to almost certainly might happen in his opinion (not based on facts):

I also believe that they will use a — this is my opinion, not based on facts that I can offer you at this moment — but I believe they will put together a racial force to go against an opposite race resistance, basically a black force to go against a white resistance, and then they will claim anyone resisting the black force they are doing it because they are racist.”

One of Solomon’s patriotic guests acknowledges that “If Obama can take your guns away he can take your car, he can take your home, he can take your bank account, he can take your very life.” Your car, you guys. Obama can take your damned car. Oh, and yeah, your kids too. And he’ll give them all to homosexuals. Do you really want to see a homosexual — and probably a Negro homosexual — driving around in your car?

Is this the America you want to live in? Is it?

President Barack Obama

President Barack Obama (Chromium Muslim) will exterminate you.

Okay, that’s the bad news. Yes, yes, Obama is going to take your guns and children (and probably your damned car) and he’ll give them to Muslim Homosexuals to use for Negro pornography (the kids, not the guns — that would be sick) and then he’ll start a race war. But don’t despair; there’s also good news.

The good news is this: eighty years ago on this very day Congress searched around and found its balls long enough to chunk the 18th Amendment of the Constitution of These United States in the trash. Sure, you remember the 18th Amendment — the one that prohibited:

the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all the territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof.

Eighty years ago today Prohibition was repealed — making the 18th Amendment the only constitutional amendment ever to be repealed. Congress said “America, y’all can drink again.” And we did, we surely did. And lawdy, after listening to Stan Solomon and his guests, we all need a drink.

Good decent American (after a few drinks).

Good decent American (after a few drinks).

And ain’t nobody, including the president, going to take the booze away from us again. Aye, drink and you may die. Stay sober, and you’ll live — at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell Obama that he may take our guns, he may take our children, he may take our damned cars — but he’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM! (And by ‘freedom’ I mean, you know, booze.)

sorry, totally our fault

Okay, on behalf of all the non-Christians in These United States, let me apologize to the Christians. We’re all terribly sorry. Had we known that somebody in a California Costco warehouse put labels on some Bibles that read $14.99 Fiction, and had we known those Bibles would be shipped to a Simi Valley, California Costco store and put on the shelves, and had we known that Pastor Caleb Kaltenbach was going to be there last week shopping for a Christmas gift for his wife, and had we known that Pastor Kaltenbach was going to see those Bibles and totally shit his pants in outrage, we’d have stopped that guy in the warehouse from affixing those stickers. We’re really terribly sorry about that.

bible fiction

Okay, I’m just kidding. We totally did that on purpose. Sometimes we just feel a wee bit frisky and decide ‘Let’s go fuck around with some Christians.’ Seriously, I don’t know what gets into us. Maybe it’s our diet or something, I don’t know. But it’s totally our fault.

You Christians are completely justified in your righteous fury at the Bible being labeled as fiction. What happened was, we were just sitting around after one of our many sex orgies, talking about how women were created from the rib of a man, and how Noah lived to be 950 years old, and how Lot impregnated both of his daughters — you know, stuff like that. And we were all “Dude, that sounds like total fiction.” And then things got a little bit out of hand.

Youthful high spirits, and all that. But still, we probably owe Pastor Kaltenbach an apology. We ruined his shopping experience. He was absolutely correct when he said:

“We are supposed to be living in an era of tolerance, but what Costco did doesn’t seem too tolerant.”

He’s entirely right; it’s rude and inappropriate to insult the Bible. In fact, it’s wrong to insult anybody’s holy book. Again, I’m not a Christian, so when in doubt about how Christians are supposed to behave I always look to that font of Christian charity, goodwill, tolerance, and wisdom: FreeRepublic.com.

Where is The Holy Queeran?

The Koran should be in the toilet paper section

Here in the PNW a bus service had these pro Palestinian adverts. I made up a bunch of Israeli flag stickers and plastered those signs with them. The local pro Palestinian org. threw a hissy fit. I love what I do.

I always place pork products over the “halal” certified lamb.

Bet a Muslim employee put them there.

I’d be tempted to pick up a few Korans and put them over with the bulk packages of toilet paper.

they obviously don’t want the business of Christians during this holiday season

[T]hese fiction stickers are something I’ve heard rumor of: libtards have supposedly a supply somewhere of stickers reading “fiction” that they slap on anything that hurts their sensibilities.

That last guy? I don’t know how he found out about our Libtard Sticker Project. Somebody has been talking out of school. Probably one of the Satanists — those fuckers just can’t keep a secret.

Anyway, I’m not trying to make excuses here. We were wrong, I admit it. But c’mon, you’d have done the same thing if you’d thought of it first. You know you would.

So how about this: we’ve put a sticker on a few Bibles, and you guys have torched a few mosques and murdered a bunch of Sikhs and accused Buddhism of being a cult and refused to allow Pagans and Wiccans to be buried with their holy symbols. You made some mistakes, we made some mistakes. How about if we just call it even, okay? Shake on it, go our separate ways, let bygones bury their hatchets. What do you say? Think if over, let us know.

But I’ve got a feeling y’all just won’t agree to that.

intimidation? pshaw…

A week ago four women met at a restaurant in Dallas, Texas. It was the monthly meeting of a gun control group called Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America (and you know these women were actually moms, because only a mom could come up with such a lame-ass title for a protest group). In response to this threat to the Second Amendment of the Constitution of These United States, forty members of a gun rights group called Open Carry Texas (a much more effective name, by the way — pithy and to the point) showed up outside the restaurant. And because they believe in open carry laws, they openly carried their weapons.

Photographs were taken. This is the one that got the most attention:

texas open carry1

It looks like these 40 armed citizens have formed a firing line and are waiting for the members of MDAfGSiA to emerge. The four women didn’t emerge, though, on account of they were intimidated by — well, by 40 armed citizens.

Intimidation? Pshaw. The OCT folks say they weren’t there to intimidate anybody. They were there to show peaceful opposition to the position taken by MDAfGSiA, which was their right under the First Amendment of the Constitution of These United States. And they weren’t forming a firing line; they were posing for a much friendlier, cheerful, patriotic photograph.

texas open carry2

See? Nothing to be afraid of. Just a bunch of smiling white folks carrying assault-style weapons and American flags. Outside a restaurant. In the middle of the day. Nothing intimidating there. The patriots at FreeRepublic.com point out how silly it was for those four women to feel bullied or intimidated.

The mommies met to peacefully talk about denying the constitutional freedoms of other citizens. Another group of citizens who stand by our constitutional freedoms met to peacefully protest their actions. Where was somebody bullied?

“Bullies!” is the new “Nazis!” code word little snivelers use when somebody disagrees with them.

This wasn’t some knitting club the OCT was counter-protesting, these are Bloomberg’s operatives that want to take our RKBA [Right to Keep and Bear Arms] away.

I’d just moon the dumb bitches and tell em “Put a Liplock On My Ol’ Love Porkchop” and go on my merry way… And THEN I’d show them the old “This is My rifle…. and this is my gun… This one’s for shooting… and THIS one’s for Fun…” See? I’m a nice guy!

Seriously, how could anybody possibly be intimidated by nice guys like this?

You want to know what’s intimidating? I’ll tell you what’s intimidating. An unsmiling black guy wearing a beret standing outside a polling station in a neighborhood in Philadelphia. Like this guy, during the 2012 election.

voter intimidation2

That’s some scary shit, right there. I mean, look at him. He’s standing right there, deliberately wearing a beret. A military style beret. And oh my god, he’s black. He’s got some sort of paper in his hand. Probably the Communist Manifesto of the Black Panther Party against White People.

This is clearly a threat. Obvious intimidation. A menace to public safety. What would the patriots of FreeRepublic.com have to say about this blatant attempt to frighten decent law-abiding citizens?

Call in the snipers.

These thugs should be arrested, tried, convicted, sentenced, and then hanged for treason.

How great would it be to see a “Sons of Anarchy” style motorcycle gang ride up on these fools to see how determined they were to stand on those corners? I’d pay to watch that.

a fine example of how “Americans” can regress into spear chucking tribalists…

The real motive behind these desperate actions is a concentrated effort to suppress the white vote

These bastards are robbing the people of their votes..Someone really needs to do something about the fools.

Everytime The Democrats or liberal media complains falsely about the Republicans being responsible for voter disenfranchisement, everyone needs to point to this story and the one 4 years ago when the 2 black new black panther thugs were carrying billy clubs outside of a voting district and intimidating voters.

Two black panther thugs! You know what’s even more intimidating than a black guy wearing a beret standing outside a polling station? TWO black guys wearing berets standing outside a polling station. Like these guys from the 2008 election.

voter intimidation

Look at that one guy — oh my god, he’s holding some sort of stick! That could be used as a weapon. You could hit a person with it. What has this country come to? Do we really want to live in a land where black guys in berets can just stand on the street openly carrying sticks?

Black panthers are allowed to gang bang and hang out election polls? What the flying frack?!

people will be afraid to vote

I call this DOMESTIC TERRORISM

I wish there would have been Black Panthers outside my voting place. I have 4 years of bottled up anger inside me and that is one cork they don’t want to pop.

Forty white folks smiling, toting firearms, holding American flags — just an exercise in protecting Constitutional rights, perfectly fine, nothing to be alarmed about, don’t be silly. Couple of black guys, not smiling, holding pamphlets and sticks, wearing berets — that’s intimidating, be afraid, call the police, or stand your ground and shoot them. 

And if four women meet at a restaurant to discuss gun policy — be brave; gather three or four dozen folks, arm yourselves, and stand outside that restaurant. Don’t let those four mothers intimidate you.

 

can’t we wait until after thanksgiving?

Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, call me a fuddy-duddy — but I miss the old days. When I was a kid, the War on Christmas didn’t begin until after Thanksgiving. Not any more. Yesterday the publisher HarperCollins released Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas, by Sarah Palin.

palin book cover

That’s right. Sarah Palin is out there protecting the very heart of Christmas. According to HarperCollins,

At a time when Christian values are challenged—when the greeting “Merry Christmas” has been replaced by the supposedly less offensive “Happy Holidays”—Governor Sarah Palin makes the case for bringing back the freedom to express the religious spirit of the season.

You guys! You maybe didn’t notice it, but we totally lost our religious freedom when ACORN elected Baraq Hussein Obama (Mujahideen, Kenya, Africa) as President of These United States. We are no longer free to wish anybody “Merry Christmas.”

You're either with Christmas -- or you're with the terrorists!

You’re either with Christmas — or you’re with the terrorists!

But happily Sarah Palin (Patriot, Macy’s, Grizzly Mama Department) has written her name on a book that tells oppressed Christians how to fight back against the tyranny of being forced to say those two most loathsome words in the English American language: Happy Holidays. Here are some of the former Governor’s peppy Words of Wisdom:

An angry atheist with a lawyer is one of the most powerful persons in America.

Totally true, you guys.You think Magneto was tough? You think The Joker was mean? You think Lex Luthor was cruel and relentless? Pffft…those guys were pikers compared to Angry Atheist (and his evil sidekick Lawyer). Angry Atheist is so tough, so mean, so cruel that Marvel Comics is afraid to write about him. According to Palin,

Atheism’s track record makes the Spanish Inquisition seem like Disneyland by comparison.

Also totally true. Think about it, you guys. The lawsuits brought by atheists to prevent Christian displays on public property are SO MUCH WORSE than the expulsion of 800,000 Jews from medieval Spain by the Tribunal del Santo Oficio de la Inquisición. A couple centuries of torture of Jews and Muslims (and what the hell, a few hundred Lutherans) — that’s like a day playing with koala bears compared to the agony of having to hear people say “Happy holidays.” Seriously, ask yourself this question: would you rather live in a world where 5th grade students in public schools are denied the freedom to stage a play about the virgin birth of the Christian savior, or one in which a government agency legally uses torture to punish and/or convert citizens who disagree with religious orthodoxy? Think about the little children!

"Say it! Say 'Merry Christmas' and this will all be over."

“Say it! Say ‘Merry Christmas’ and this will all be over.”

The Atheist Commie Muslim assault on ‘Merry Christmas’ is taking place on several fronts, some of which will totally shock you. As Palin points out,

Walgreens twenty-four page nationwide circular used the world ‘holidays’ thirty-six times without one mention of Christmas.

Seriously? I had no idea Walgreens was the drugstore of the Devil. I mean, c’mon, they seem SO American. They invented the malted milkshake, you guys! How did they manage to hide their fiendish nature from the American public for 112 years? Atheists are some sneaky anti-Christmas bastards.

I bet Charles Darwin never understood this: If the world could be described as truly  ‘survival of the fittest,’ why would people collectively be stricken with the spirit of generosity in December?

Yeah, explain that, Charles Darwin. Let’s see you explain the evolutionary benefit of people around the entire globe most of the world large parts of — uh, let’s see you explain the evolutionary benefit of people living in those bits of the world where Christianity is the dominant religion suddenly feeling particularly generous during the month of the winter solstice. You can’t, can you — and not just because you’ve been dead for more than 130 years, but because there IS no evolutionary benefit. Sarah Palin understands that everybody in the world people feel generous in the month of December because of Special Jeebus Magic.

In which Jolly Old Saint Nick doffs his cap and wishes Mary and Joseph a Merry Christmas

Jolly Old Saint Nick bathes in the light of Special Jeebus Magic before taking to his flying-reindeer-driven sleigh to deliver gifts to Good (Christian) Boys and Girls.

Sarah Palin wants all Americans to live in a world where we no longer have to be terrified to say “Merry Christmas.” She’s SO brave, you guys. But still, would it kill anybody to wait to celebrate the War on Christmas until after Thanksgiving — the day we’ve set aside to thank God and Jeebus for letting us share a meal with those natives who survived the diseases we brought to the Americas (before we had to slaughter the savage bastards in order to expand the territory we seized from them and exploit the land’s natural resources).

I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much. Somebody has to protect the heart of Christmas from atheists and other Heart-of-Christmas-haters. Kudos to Sarah for standing up and writing putting her name on a book that’s sure to turn the tide in the War on Christmas (all proceeds, by the way, are being donated to a fund to support former half-term governors of states from which you can see Russia).

"Santa, all I want for Christmas is to sell a metric buttload of books."

“Santa, all I want for Christmas is to sell a buttload of books.”

And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless us, every one.

Editorial note: Except John McCain. Curse you John McCain, for inflicting Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting public. May you be boiled with your own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through your heart.

nobody pays much attention

In the United States, November 11 is called Veterans Day. In other parts of the world it’s called Remembrance Day or Armistice Day. The latter is appropriate since it celebrates the anniversary of the day hostilities formally ceased in the First World War. The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918.

Ninety-five years. And what have we learned? Aside from more efficient and more impersonal methods for killing, not a hell of a lot. We’re still fighting wars, we’re still fighting them for the same stupid reasons, and at the behest of the same powerful business and political interests. Young men and women are still killing and dying in foreign lands. And nobody is paying much attention.

U.S. Army Pfc. Michael W. Daley Jr. (right) and Pfc. Travis B. Woolwine, both Soldiers with 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), scan their surroundings while on patrol in Paktya Province, Afghanistan / Photo by Sgt. Justin Moeller

U.S. Army Pfc. Michael W. Daley Jr. (right) and Pfc. Travis B. Woolwine, with 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), scan their surroundings while on patrol in Paktya Province, Afghanistan / Photo by Sgt. Justin Moeller

As of this date, 402 troops have died fighting in Afghanistan this year. Most of those (310) were US troops, but soldiers and marines from the UK, from Poland, from Georgia (the former Soviet state), from Romania and Slovakia and Italy and Germany and Australia have also been killed.

In the last few days 42-year-old Warrant Officer Ian Fisher of Barking, Essex in England was killed in an IED attack in Lashkar Gah in Helmund Province. Army Sergeant 1st Class Forrest Robertson, 35 years old, of Westmoreland, Kansas was killed by small arms fire in Pul-i-Alam in Kogar Province — also known as Bab al-Jihad, the Gates of Jihad, because of the savage fighting between Soviet troops and mujahideen during the Soviet-Afghan war. Army Specialist Angel Lopez, 27, from Parma, Ohio was killed by small arms fire in a Green on Blue attack in Zabul Province. Twelve deaths in the first nine days this month. The youngest was 19 years old. Nineteen years old — Jeremiah Collins of Milwaukee wasn’t even old enough to buy a beer. Dead, 7000 miles from home, in service to his country.

US Army Spc. Kevin Jackson, 4th Squadron, 9th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Armored Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, pulls security during a reconnaissance mission in a village south of Forward Operating Base Fenty, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, Sept. 8, 2013 / Photo by Sgt. Margaret Taylor

US Army Spc. Kevin Jackson, 4th Squadron, 9th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Armored Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, pulls security during a reconnaissance mission in a village south of Forward Operating Base Fenty, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, Sept. 8, 2013 / Photo by Sgt. Margaret Taylor

All of those troop who’ve died have families and friends, they have fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, they have wives and husbands and children. Outside of their families and friends, hardly anybody will notice those deaths. Because nobody, really, is paying much attention.

I mentioned this earlier in the year. At that point there were about 70,000 US troops serving in Afghanistan; today there are about 60,000. Combat operations by US troops are slated to end in late 2014 — but even then the US will likely leave between 15,000 and 30,000 troops in the region. And be sure of this: some of them will be fighting and dying.

Cpl. Zachery K. Arrowood with 1st Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, provides security during a patrol in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 12, 2013. The patrol was conducted to disrupt enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. Zachery B. Martin

Cpl. Zachery K. Arrowood with 1st Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, provides security during a patrol in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 12, 2013. The patrol was conducted to disrupt enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. Zachery B. Martin

There’s still only one media outlet that routinely pays attention to the troops serving in combat zones — the liberal muckraking magazine Mother Jones. They still publish their brilliant photo series We’re Still at War: Photo of the Day. I don’t know how many people bother to look at the photos. Not enough. Not nearly enough.

Why? Because the war is primarily being fought by strangers — by people we don’t know and don’t care about. Historically, wars have always been fought primarily by the poor and working class. Officers, of course, usually come from the middle classes, but most of the killing and dying has been done by the underclasses. The demands of twelve years of war — the longest war in US history — have exacerbated that problem. The gap between the people who initiate the wars and the people who actually fight them is greater now than ever before. And the mass in the middle — which includes most of the American public — are estranged from both groups. And so when a soldier gets killed in some dusty desert, very few people are affected, and nobody pays much attention.

Marines and Georgian Soldiers with 33rd Georgian Battalion exit an MV-22 Osprey aircraft during an operation in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Sept. 23, 2013. Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 165 provided the service members with aerial support during the operation / Photo by Cpl. Ashley E. Santy

Marines and Georgian Soldiers with 33rd Georgian Battalion exit an MV-22 Osprey aircraft during an operation in Helmand province, Afghanistan, Sept. 23, 2013. Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 165 provided the service members with aerial support during the operation / Photo by Cpl. Ashley E. Santy

On Monday — Veterans Day — I’ll meet with my brother and my cousin, both of whom served in the Marines, and we’ll attend a breakfast given by a local grocery store chain (Hy-Vee), just as we’ve done for the last few years. There’ll be a lot of old veterans there — a handful from World War II, a few from Korea, some from Viet Nam and Iraq and Afghanistan. The food will be mediocre — but better than what we’d have gotten in the mess hall back when we were in uniform.

Nobody will be there just for the food. We’ll all be there because we’re veterans, and on this one day some folks will pay attention. Most of the veterans sitting down to breakfast will have scars, physical or emotional. Some will be missing limbs. And every one of us will, at some point, remember somebody who was wounded or killed.

Marines with 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, patrol near Forward Operating Base Musa Qala, Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 19, 2013. The Marines of 3/7 patrolled to reduce enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. James Mast

Marines with 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, patrol near Forward Operating Base Musa Qala, Helmand province, Afghanistan, Oct. 19, 2013. The Marines of 3/7 patrolled to reduce enemy activity in the area / Photo by Lance Cpl. James Mast

As we enter and leave the breakfast venue, the volunteers from the grocery store will thank us for our service. And they’ll be sincere, because they’re working people. Some of them will be veterans themselves, or have family members who have served or are still serving. During the day a lot of politicians will also give public thanks for our service. Some of them will be sincere and some of them will mean it. Damned few of them, though, will actually understand what service to the country means. It means sacrifice. When most politicians speak about sacrifice, they’re talking about other people.

On Tuesday the 12th, the world will forget us for another year. Troops in Afghanistan will continue to go out on patrol. Some of them will get wounded. Some will get killed. And nobody will pay much attention.

Editorial note: The photos above were shot by members of the military, and published in Mother Jones magazine.