Literally!

You guys, did you know you were paralyzed? Literally paralyzed. Oh, and scared too. Why are you paralyzed (literally) and scared? I’ll tell you. It’s totally on account of the Socialist President of Islamic Ameriqa, Baraq Hussein Obama. Also, gay folks.

Paralyzed while pointing!

Rush Limbaugh — paralyzed while pointing!

Seriously. I wouldn’t make that up. I literally would NOT make that up. I have proof. It’s what Rush Limbaugh said, his ownself. Literally.

The fact that we are living in the historic era with the first African-American president has everybody paralyzed and everybody scared. Political leadership in Washington is literally paralyzed.  Political consultant leadership in Washington literally paralyzed. The Republican Party is literally paralyzed.  Many American citizens are literally paralyzed, frightened to death to say anything to anybody about what they really think.

Frightened to death, you guys. And literally paralyzed. Nobody — not the political leadership, not the political consultants, not the Republican Party (oh, and also many citizens) — absolutely nobody is willing to say what they really think. Because if people were to say what they really think, other people might really think they’re literally hateful bigots and asshats (and of course, they’d be wrong — but those other folks, who are probably literally gay, would totally say what they think about hateful bigoted asshattery because they’ve apparently got some sort of gay anti-paralysis gene, or something).

Rod Dreher -- paralyzed after stealing Harry Potter's spectacles! Stupefy!

Rod Dreher — paralyzed after stealing Harry Potter’s spectacles! Stupefy!

How bad is it? It’s so bad that Christians are terrified (probably literally) to voice their belief that same-sex marriage is going to totally destroy America and make Jeebus have grand mal seizures. Serious Conservative Thinker Rod Dreher weeps (figuratively) for the oppressed and silenced Christians:

Christians and other traditionalists were wrong to have demonized gay people in the past, and forced them to live in the closet for fear of their careers. Gay rights activists did a lot of good work to end this climate of fear, and to wake the rest of us up to the humanity of our gay brothers and sisters, and to increase tolerance for them. But it is to their great discredit that they have created a climate of intolerance and, yes, hatred, that sends traditionalist Christians into professional closets of their own.

C’mon gay folks! See? Christians admit they may have made some mistakes! You know, in the past. Sure, there are still a few Christians who may have politely suggested y’all shouldn’t be getting married to each other (and okay, maybe y’all should be literally stoned to death), but is that any reason to make them feel bad about their opinions? Gay folks, you are literally oppressing Christians by making them feel they can’t voice their opinion that y’all don’t deserve to get married and be happy (and, you know, that whole stoning to death business). Is it their fault y’all are possessed by demons? Is it!!??

Too paralyzed by fear to speak -- must hold up sign!

Too paralyzed by fear to speak — must hold up sign!

Okay, okay, maybe some of the things Christians have been saying (literally for centuries) about gay folks might have led to some youthful high spirits and occasional harmless hazing (and yeah, okay, maybe some taunting and beatings, and yeah, okay, terrorizing some gay kids until they literally committed suicide), but surely that should have taught y’all some compassion. Y’all know how it feels to be ostracized — so c’mon, gay folks, practice a little tolerance. You know…toward Christians.

A paralyzed crowd of Christians, too terrified to speak!

A paralyzed crowd of literal Christians, too terrified to speak!

This is America, gay folks! Literally America! Where everybody has to right to free speech (unless, you know, it offends Jeebus). It’s America, and the Constitution of These United States specifically says Christians shouldn’t have to bake cakes for gay weddings (it’s in one of those Article things, or maybe an amendment or something).

So loosen up, gay folks! Don’t take it personally when Christians refuse to bake your wedding cakes. Don’t be so sensitive when they point out that demon-possession thing! It’s not Rush Limbaugh’s fault that Jeebus and the Constitution won’t let Christians do any gay cake-baking (not a euphemism for anything). It’s hurtful to Rush when y’all suggest he’s a bigot. Hurtful, you guys! In fact, I have it on high authority that Rush took the Zimbio Celebrity Boyfriend quiz…and nailed George Clooney (he makes Rush feel like the only girl in the world while it lasts).

Like the only girl in the world -- literally

Like the only girl in the world — literally

It’s a shame, gay folks, that you have Christians so paralyzed and fearful. It’s a shame Christians don’t feel they can express their truest and deepest feelings with the people they care most about. It’s a shame they’ve been forced to hide who they really are.

It’s just such a shame. Literally.

loathsome creatures

Seriously, this shit surprised me. I mean, I know there are some a lot of Republicans in Congress who are ideological dicks more interested in making political points than in participating in the actual process of governing the fucking nation. But THIS? This is some outrageous shit, is what this is.

I’m talking about Senate Bill 1982. The Comprehensive Veterans Health and Benefits and Military Retirement Pay Restoration Act of 2014. It’s not what you’d call a sexy title, but this bill — had it passed — would have provided US$21 billion of extra coin over the next decade to expand military health benefits (including mental health treatment). It would have increased veteran education benefits. It would have expanded job training programs.

Saxby Chambliss, mewling canker-brained minnow-hearted fuckwit Republican from Georgia voted No

Senator Saxby Chambliss, mewling canker-brained minnow-hearted fuckwit Republican from Georgia voted No

The bill — had it passed — would have done a lot of small things that would make military service somewhat less onerous. If, say, a National Guard member was a licensed electrician and his license expired while he was deployed in Afghanistan, this bill would protect that license and extend the time in which it could be renewed. It would protect troops whose apartment leases expired while they were on deployment. It would forestall home foreclosures until troops could return from deployment and give them some time to get their financial matters straightened out. Little shit like that matters to ordinary folks.

But the bill didn’t pass. It didn’t pass because Senate Republicans blocked it. Seriously. Why did they block it? Bullshit reasons, that’s why. Some objected to the inclusion of ‘reproductive treatment and services’ based on some incomprehensible Jeebus-sparked twaddle. But here’s the thing — if some poor bastard gets his cojones shredded by an IED on a road in Helmand Province, but still wants to have a family, Jeebus ain’t going to plant no baby in his wife’s womb. Medical science will do that.

Senator Bob Corker, pampered leech-nurtured addle-pate Republican from Tennessee voted No

Senator Bob Corker, pampered leech-nurtured addle-pate Republican from Tennessee voted No

Some Republicans were concerned about the cost. Of course, they weren’t terribly concerned about the cost of going to war. And, of course, they’re all supportive of the new Lockheed-Martin F-35 Strike fighter — which, so far, is US$163 billion over budget and seven years behind schedule. But $21 billion stretched out over ten years for veterans? Too fucking expensive.

Even worse (and lawdy, you wouldn’t think there could be anything worse than denying a guy who left his balls in a combat zone the right to have a family), the Republicans tried adding some totally unrelated, politically motivated bullshit amendments to the bill. Like sanctions against Iran and some nonsense dealing with that Most Giant of Political Turds, Benghazi.

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, fawning pasty-hearted dissembling pig's bladder Republican from Alabama, voted No

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, fawning pasty-hearted dissembling pig’s bladder Republican from Alabama voted No — and Benghazi!

Even so, 56 Senators voted in favor of the bill. Only 41 voted against it. That’s right, a minority — all Republicans — were able to kill a bill that would help veterans. And this was as bipartisan a bill as is possible in this insane tea-party environment. More than two dozen of the provisions in the bill were Republican ideas.

But they still killed it. Not because it was a bad bill. They killed it for political reasons. For ideological reasons.

Senator Chuck Grassley, spongy po-faced corn-fed fustilarian Republican from Iowa voted No

Senator Chuck Grassley, spongy po-faced corn-fed fustilarian Republican from Iowa voted No

I’m sure, if you asked, all forty-one of those senators would claim to support the troops. I’m sure they all think of themselves as patriots. I’m pretty confident (though I haven’t bothered to check) all of them were (and probably still are) supportive of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

For them to vote against this bill is contemptible. It’s despicable and disgraceful. These people should be ashamed to be photographed in front of the flag. They should be forced to visit VA hospitals and explain their votes to the men and women there. They should be held up for ridicule and scorn by everybody who truly supports the troops. And since these people undoubtedly consider themselves to be Christians, they should suffer the most appalling of Biblical curses.

These are loathsome creatures.

comfort / discomfort

In the central public park of Glendale, California there’s a bronze statue of a young Asian woman seated in a chair. A bird is perched on her shoulder. Next to her is an empty chair.

It’s an attractive statue. Simple, but pleasing to the eye. At first glance, it’s a charming but rather innocuous work of public art. On the surface there’s nothing the least bit controversial about it. A closer look reveals the young woman’s hands are clenched into fists, which seems strangely at odds with her tranquil expression. But really, who takes a closer look at public art?

Comfort Woman Peace Monument

Comfort Woman Peace Monument

This isn’t just a work of public art, though. It’s a memorial. It’s a physical reminder of a historical event. It’s a work of art intended to preserve the memory of that event. It’s not a celebration of the event; it’s an indictment. The statue is called the ‘Comfort Woman’ Peace Monument.

And isn’t that a lovely phrase? Comfort Woman. It sounds so pleasant. It’s a translation of the Japanese term, ianfu, which is a euphemism for shōfuShōfu means ‘prostitute.’ But the memorial in the park in Glendale isn’t about prostitutes; it’s about a system of sexual slavery organized by the Imperial Army of Japan during World War Two.

Historically, wherever you find armies you find prostitution. The Imperial Army made it part of the bureaucracy. Even before WWII they organized ‘comfort stations’ in which Japanese soldiers could buy the services of Japanese prostitutes who’d been recruited from the lower classes. When Japan’s army expanded and they invaded China in 1937, the government began to send the daughters of those who opposed the war to serve in the ‘comfort stations.’ They also began to recruit local Chinese women, offering them food and clothing — which, given the Imperial Army’s practice of confiscating food supplies, was an effective form of coercion.

Young women 'recruited' to work in 'comfort stations'.

Young women ‘recruited’ to work in ‘comfort stations’.

Even so, the Imperial Army’s attempts at recruitment weren’t enough. So they began kidnapping local women. Eventually more that 2000 ‘comfort stations’ were organized throughout the war zone. Nobody knows how many women were kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery; estimates range from 20,000 to more that 400,000. Let’s split the difference — say 200,000. That’s around the population of Tacoma, Washington or Shreveport, Louisiana. Most of the women were from Korea, China, and the Philippines.

It’s been suggested (though there’s no actual data to rely on) that around three-quarters of the women forced into working the ‘comfort stations’ died there. We do know that most of the survivors were left infertile due to venereal disease or forced abortions. According to one Japanese soldier who testified at a war crimes tribunal:

“The women cried out, but it didn’t matter to us whether the women lived or died. We were the emperor’s soldiers. Whether in military brothels or in the villages, we raped without reluctance.”

After the war, nobody paid much attention to the ‘comfort women.’ That’s not really accurate. Nobody paid any attention to the ‘comfort women.’ Not until 1983, when Seiji Yoshida published a book called My War Crimes, in which he claimed to have helped kidnap some 2000 Korean women from rural areas to serve as ‘comfort women.’ Curiously, it appears Yoshida didn’t actually participate in raids to kidnap women; he’d lied about it. Nevertheless, his book was enough to rouse the righteous anger of women who’d survived the system. They began to come forward, to identify themselves and talk openly about their experiences.

Only a few at first. Then more and more until it became an international movement.

comfort women protest2

The fact that the issue of the ‘comfort women’ was ignored for so long, coupled with the mass destruction of documents by the Japanese government in the last days of war, makes it impossible to know with any certainty the exact dimensions of the sexual slavery that took place. Until 1993, the Japanese government refused to acknowledge their army had even engaged in the systematic sexual slavery of women during the war. Even after that admission a great many Japanese — including many who hold high government office — refuse to accept or admit coercion was involved in the ‘comfort women’ system.

comfort women protest3

Eventually, the Japanese government offered an official apology to the women who’d been forced to serve in ‘comfort stations.’ However, just a week ago, Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga stated Japan may reconsider that apology.

So maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that after the Comfort Women Peace Memorial was unveiled in Glendale, there was a lawsuit to have it removed. The suit was brought by two Japanese-American citizens supported by a corporation that says it’s devoted to providing “accurate and fact-based educational resources to the public…concerning the history of World War II and related events, with an emphasis on Japan’s role.”

Why do they want the statue removed? The corporation (GAHT-US) claims the memorial presents “an unfairly biased portrayal of the Japanese government’s purported involvement with comfort women during the Second World War.” As a result, members of GAHT-US who live in or near Glendale

“…suffer feelings of exclusion, discomfort, and anger by the continued presence of the Public Monument, and the controversial and disputed stance on the debate surrounding comfort women that it perpetuates.”

Plaintiff Koichi Mera “disagrees with and is offended by the position espoused by” the city of Glendale. He’d like to visit that park and avail himself of its beauty, but

“…as a result of his alienation due to the Public Monument, he avoids doing so. In addition, the presence of the Public Monument diminishes Mera’s enjoyment of the Central Park and its Adult Recreation Center.”

Plaintiff Michiko Shiota Gingery, who was born in Japan, now lives in Glendale and is a founding member of the city’s Sister City Committee. She believes the statue “presents an unfairly one-sided portrayal” of the ‘comfort women’ issue. She feels the statue’s presence in Glendale’s public park is “a significant obstacle in maintaining friendly relations among Glendale’s sister-cities.” (Although Gingery mentions the sister city of Higashiosaka, Japan in her suit, she neglects to mention the sister cities of Goseong and Gimpo, both of which are in South Korea.)

Gingery also asserts she’d

“like to use Glendale’s Central Park and the Adult Recreation Center located within Central Park. But she now avoids doing so because she is offended by the Public Monument’s pointed expression of disapproval of Japan and the Japanese people. In addition, the presence of the Public Monument diminishes Gingery’s enjoyment of the Central Park.”

And so, they feel the monument must be removed.

Kim Bok-Dong, 87 years old

Kim Bok-Dong, 87 years old

When the monument was unveiled back in July, 87-year-old Kim Bok-Dong was present. Bok-Dong was fifteen years old when the Japanese Army forced her to become a ‘comfort woman.’ For the next eight years her life was unregulated hell.

“Every Sunday, soldiers came to the brothel from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m., and on Saturday from noon until 5 p.m., plus weekdays. It was very hard to handle. I couldn’t stand at the end of the weekend. Since I had to deal with too many soldiers, I was physically broken.”

I don’t doubt that Mr. Mera and Ms. Gingery and all the members of GAHT-US are made uncomfortable by the statue in Glendale’s park. I’m sure they’re telling the truth when they say their enjoyment of the park has been diminished. I’m convinced they’re sincere when they say the statue causes them to ‘suffer feelings of exclusion, discomfort, and anger.’

I felt much the same when I visited the Japanese Internment exhibit at the Smithsonian many years ago. I suspect I’d feel something similar if I visited Hiroshima. Sometimes governments do horrible horrible things, especially in times of war. We’re supposed to be made uncomfortable by those things. We’re supposed to be ashamed and angry by those things. Our enjoyment ought to be diminished, even if we weren’t personally involved or responsible.

comfort woman memorial3

That empty chair next to the young woman? According to the plaque that accompanies the memorial, it symbolizes the “survivors who are dying of old age without having yet witnessed justice.” I think you could argue the chair is empty because it’s waiting for the next atrocity to fill it.

If there was justice in the world, there’d be copies of that statue — one for every woman lured or forced into sexual slavery — in cities all over the globe. And one for every black person lynched in the U.S. And one for every person who died in the attacks of 9/11. And one for every Iraqi civilian killed as collateral damage during an unprovoked invasion. And one for every Aborigine slaughtered in Australia. And one for every Jew and communist and Rom and gay person killed by the Nazis. And and and and. Every public square in every city in every nation in the world should have at least — at the very least — one similar statue reminding us that our governments are capable of allowing such crimes against humanity.

That’s never going to happen, of course. So for now we’ll have to settle for one modest bronze in a public park in Glendale, California. It’s a start.

macho bullshit and a handy gun

Somebody asked me why I haven’t written anything about the so-called ‘Loud Music Murder’ trial. I said “Because it’s a sad and terribly stupid situation, but there’s nothing new or unusual about it.”

The thing is, this wasn’t about loud music at all. The trial was about a privileged white racist asshole, Michael Dunn. It was about four proud but resentful black teen-aged boys. It was about testosterone and a handy firearm. You remove either of those last two variables from the equation, and none of this would have happened. Remove the gun, or remove the macho bullshit, and everybody goes home alive.

Gas station/convenience store where the murder took place.

Gas station/convenience store where the murder took place

What folks keep overlooking is the fundamental fact that this tragically stupid incident took place at a convenience store. The entire point of a convenience store is you get in, get what you want, and you leave. You’re there, what…five minutes? Maybe ten? How could things spiral so badly out of control in just a few minutes? Macho bullshit and a handy firearm.

Here’s what happened. Michael Dunn pulled into the convenience story lot and parked next to an SUV. He asked the teens in the SUV to turn down their music. It didn’t matter to him that they were there first, that he pulled up and parked next to them. It didn’t matter that he was only going to be there a short time. He was a middle-aged software engineer and they were black kids playing what he described as ‘thug’ music. He felt they should heed his perfectly reasonable desire for quiet. They should have some consideration for others. The world doesn’t revolve around them. He deserved a little bit of respect.

Michael Dunn

Michael Dunn

And hey, at first they complied with his request. They turned the music off. But one of the kids asked the obvious question: who the hell did this guy think he was? Nobody asked that jerk to park next to them. Why in the hell should they have to turn off — or even turn down — their music to please him? Fuck him. Fuck him and his disrespect. Turn the music back on. Turn it up louder.

It became a dick-measuring contest. The teenage boys in the SUV weren’t going to back down, because they were teens and boys and they can play their music as loud as they damned well please. Dunn wasn’t going to back down because he was a man with a good job and a handy firearm, and those kids owed him some goddamned respect.

Dunn's 9mm Taurus handgun

Dunn’s 9mm Taurus handgun

Remove the macho bullshit from the equation, everybody goes home alive.

Dunn told the police he heard a kid in the back seat threaten him. He told the police he saw the kid pick up something that might have been a shotgun (no shotgun was found in the vehicle). So he pulled the Taurus 9mm out of his glove box and opened fire. Ten rounds in total. The first three or four rounds went through the rear door panel and hit 17-year-old Jordan Davis in the liver, lung, and aorta. Killed him almost instantly. The driver of the SUV slammed it into reverse. Dunn stepped out of his car and fired the remaining rounds. To keep their heads down, he told the police. To prevent any return fire.

Dowels showing the entry direction of the gunshots.

Dowels showing the entry direction of the gunshots.

Remove the gun from the equation, everybody goes home. Instead, Michael Dunn is going to prison. Jordan Davis is in the ground. How profoundly stupid and sad is that?

Would Dunn have been so confrontational with those kids if he hadn’t had the pistol in the glove box? Maybe, but probably not. Would the situation have escalated so rapidly if it wasn’t for the macho bullshit? Probably not.

Would this incident have happened at all if women and girls were involved? Would there be a funeral for a 17-year-old kid if there hadn’t been a gun handy? Almost certainly not.

This wasn’t the ‘Loud Music’ trial at all. It was the ‘Macho Bullshit’ trial. It was the ‘I’ve Got a Handy Gun’ trial. Macho bullshit and a handy gun — remove those variables from every equation and the murder rate would drop radically. More folks would go home alive.

miracles & ballistics

It was a miracle, according to Justin Carper of Shelby, NC. A miracle that his 17 month old daughter was able to feed herself a few hours after she’d been shot.

“It went through the top of her shoulder. She was feeding herself using that shoulder, using that arm. The bullet went straight through. You wouldn’t even know. Doctor after doctor have told us that there’s nowhere else the bullet could have gone that would have ended up with this story. My mind is pretty much blown.”

A miracle. Carper writes a Christian parenting blog, so I guess he’s familiar with the notion of miracles. But me, I’m thinking miracles wouldn’t be necessary if Carper had had enough common sense to put his 9mm pistol someplace where his three year old son couldn’t get to it and accidentally shoot his baby sister. And you know what blows my mind? At this point, no charges have been filed against Carper. Praise Jeebus.

Thirteen year old Eddie Zee could have used a miracle that same day, when he and his buddies were playing with a shotgun in Puyallup, WA. But no, instead Eddie was killed. Too bad, Eddie — no miracles for you. At this point in time, no charges have been filed against the parents who left the shotgun in an accessible place.

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

A few days earlier in Park Ridge, IL, the 14 year old son of Joseph Streff accidentally shot himself with the handgun his dad had given him for Christmas. Since the kid got the weapon in celebration of the birth of Jeebus, I guess we can consider it a miracle that he only shot himself in the leg. He’ll recover.

I guess you could also count it a miracle that the unnamed ‘juvenile’ in Little Rock, AR wasn’t killed when he was shot in the face with the handgun he and his buddies were playing with. Jeebus must have been watching over him — just not very well. Maybe he was distracted. By what?

By Isom Brumfield, who took his 7 year old son with him to an auto parts store in Milwaukee. When it came time to pay for his parts, Brumfield first had to remove his handgun from his pocket. He laid it on the counter, but the clerk (who apparently wasn’t willing to trust in miracles) asked him to put it away. As he was doing that, Brumfield dropped the weapon, which discharged. The round hit his son in the leg. Brumfield has been charged with a misdemeanor — ‘negligent handling of a dangerous weapon.’ How’s that for a miracle?

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

That apparently didn’t use up Milwaukee’s miracle quota. A couple days later a group of kids (aged 11 to 17 years) were playing with a shotgun in somebody’s basement. The shotgun was loaded with bird shot; when it accidentally discharged, five of the kids were wounded (and, I suspect, most of them were deafened). None of the wounds were life threatening. It’s like an advertisement for bird shot — Less Likely to Kill Your Kids!

That same day in Columbus, OH, a ten year old boy was shot by his eleven year old brother. The victim, happily, lived. According to the boy’s aunt, he ‘found the gun in an alley.’ It’ll be a miracle if anybody believes that story.

In Como, MS, two brothers, 11 and 14, went deer hunting. By themselves. As they were climbing up into a deer stand on the family property, the older brother accidentally shot the younger in the neck and shoulder. Miraculously, the victim is expected to survive. So are the deer.

But miracles were in short supply in Nashville, TN, where seventeen year old Kaemon Robinson and three friends were messing about with a handgun. It accidentally discharged, hitting fifteen year old Kevin Barbee in the face. No miracles here. Barbee was killed, Robinson is facing a murder charge.

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

(photo by Andrijana Pajović)

A few hours later, in St. Mary’s, WV, an unnamed 15 year old girl was shot in the head while watching television. A neighbor, Robbie Knight, had decided to clean his .40 caliber handgun like a responsible gun owner. Unfortunately, Knight neglected to unload his weapon. It discharged — the round went through the wall of Knight’s home, traveled the distance to the victim’s home, went through that wall and hit the girl in the head. The miracle? At last report, the girl is still alive, although in critical condition.

And in Wichita, KS, a 70 year old man was playing ‘quick draw’ with two boys, aged ten and fourteen. Predictably, the old guy accidentally fired a round, grazing the ten year old in the face. The man was arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated child endangerment. After he was released by police, the old man returned to his home and killed himself with a gunshot to the head.

All this happened in the last week or so. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics around 3500 children and adolescents are killed each year in gun-related incidents. Many of those deaths are preventable. It doesn’t take a miracle; it just takes common sense. Trigger locks, gun safes, prosecution of adults who make it possible for kids to shoot themselves or others.

There are a couple lessons to be learned here. Miracles are totally unreliable. And there’s no mercy in ballistics.

Editorial note: All the photographs are by the amazing young photographer, Andrijana Pajovic

suspicious

In this post-9/11 world, it’s increasingly important for ordinary citizens like yourselves to be wary and on the alert for suspicious individuals engaged in suspicious activities. The law enforcement community needs your help. It is your civic duty to keep the authorities informed about any suspicious behavior you might observe, especially when undertaken by suspicious characters who are acting suspiciously. suspicious How do you determine who is a suspicious individual? I’m glad you asked. Just answer these simple questions:

1) Does the individual have a higher melanin concentration than Mitt Romney?
2) Does the individual have a penis?

If you answered ‘yes’ to the questions above, then the individual can safely be assumed to be suspicious.

Suspicious

Suspicious

It must be understood that not ALL high-melanin penile-laden individuals are active criminals; several are not. It’s vitally important to consider the social context of the person’s activity before notifying the police. For example, is the individual serving you food? If so, then he is probably not suspicious. Is the individual looking at a white woman? If so, notify the proper authorities.

Not suspicious

Not suspicious

It is imperative for penis-bearing high-melanin individuals to AVOID engaging in any behavior that might be viewed as suspicious. If your skin is any shade darker than Brad Pitt’s AND you have a penis (or look like you might have a penis), then DO NOT:

— drive a nice car (it could be stolen or you could be a drug dealer or a pimp)
— look directly at law enforcement personnel (it could be seen as a challenge)
— avoid looking at law enforcement personnel (it suggests you want to avoid detection)
— wear a hoodie (especially in Florida)
— wear any item of clothing that is red or blue (gang colors) or yellow or pink (pimp colors) or dark blue or black (burglar colors) or white (pimp again) or multi-colored (African nationalist gang terrorist anti-authority racist-against-whites colors) or camouflage (insane mass murderer colors). Green is okay. Or polo shirts.
— speak loudly (aggressive)
— speak softly (sneaky)
— speak
— use your cell phone to text in a movie theater (hell, they even shoot white folks for that)
— be in a suburban neighborhood after sunset
— be in an urban neighborhood after sunset
— leave your home after sunset
— carry a gun, or anything that looks like a gun, or anything the approximate shape or size of a gun, or anything that might suggest you could be carrying something remotely like a gun
— go to Monongalia County, West Virginia
— go to North Korea and sing Happy Birthday
— vote
— get elected President of the United States
— engage in other suspicious activities

Suspicious

Suspicious

Understand that this is NOT racist. No, really. Honest. Seriously, I mean it — nothing racist about it. Some of my best friends people who have cleaned my golf clubs have penises and dark skin. It’s simply exercising reasonable caution. To suggest otherwise is racist against white people. Also racist against men. And guns.

Not suspicious

Not suspicious

As crime and terrorism and more crime and more terrorism increase, we all have to come together as a society. We have to overcome our differences. We have to strive to be like Jeebus (only better armed and not…you know…Jewish). We have to pull together and stand up to suspicious people behaving suspiciously. Otherwise the terrorists and criminals win, and those brave Americans in Benghazi will have died in vain. Because of Obamacare. And probably feminists.

gun control / legal pot — spot the difference

Sometimes smart people make stupid arguments. That surely happens more often when you’re writing on a deadline. I don’t know if that’s the case with S.E. Cupp’s recent opinion piece in the NY Daily News, but I don’t know how else to explain it.

SE Cupp

S.E. Cupp

Cupp describes herself as a ‘mainstream conservative’ but she’s not — not in the modern conservative movement. She’s an atheist who supports the Log Cabin Republicans, which takes her completely out of mainstream conservatism. I rarely agree with her views, but I’m willing to admit she sometimes makes a point worth considering. Not this time. She suggests the legalization of marijuana in Colorado will pose a political problem for progressives. Why?

[T]he legal weed experiment could at least put the politics of progressivism – all the rage in liberal circles now – in a tricky spot. For one, there are glaring inconsistencies between the liberal argument for pot legalization and positions on other issues. An obvious one is gun control. The same argument used against guns is used for pot: that legalizing pot and making it more available will reduce crime.

It’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard from a conservative, but it’s pretty close. Of course legalizing pot will reduce crime, if only because possession of pot is no longer criminal. A person who purchased pot last month was a criminal; this month, that same person making that same purchase is an honest citizen supporting the local economy and increasing the State’s tax base. Hey bingo, crime reduction!

Honest citizen supporting the local economy

Honest citizen supporting the local economy

That’s stupid — but it’s not the stupidest part of her opinion piece. Here’s part of Cupp’s argument:

We’re told pot users will “responsibly” use marijuana in the privacy of their own homes…. [W]hy aren’t lawful gun owners afforded the same level of trust?

Why? Because nobody cleaning their lawfully obtained pot accidentally wounded or killed themselves. Or another person in the same room. Or a neighbor in an adjoining apartment. Because nobody ever pulled out a lawfully obtained dime bag in a moment of road rage and used it to kill another driver. Because nobody ever went into a school and slaughtered teachers and students with lawfully obtained marijuana. Because no unattended infant ever found lawfully obtained pot on a table and used it to accidentally blow his brains out. Because nobody ever tried to put lawfully obtained pot in his pocket and accidentally put a hole in his leg.

Jeebus on toast, this seems pretty fucking obvious, doesn’t it? Gun owners aren’t afforded the same level of trust because marijuana isn’t a lethal weapon. Let’s make this even easier to understand. Last Sunday a 13-year-old Chicago boy killed his 16-year-old cousin by shooting him in the head. This is from the Chicago Sun Times:

The boy gave a statement to police admitting to shooting his cousin, according to court records. Police said a possible argument over video games may have led to the shooting. It is unclear how the 13-year-old obtained the gun, police said.

Now, let’s apply the Cupp Argument:

The boy gave a statement to police admitting to getting his cousin stoned, according to court records. Police said a possible argument over video games may have led to them getting high. It is unclear how the 13-year-old obtained the marijuana, police said.

And that, Ms. Cupp, is why gun owners aren’t afforded the same level of trust. Ain’t nobody has to worry about an irate 13-year-old with a blunt doing you a hurt.

I suspect the bear would prefer to be stoned

I suspect the bear would prefer to be stoned

But Cupp also has another concern.

“While there’s obvious support among libertarians, others worry about the moral implications of legalizing risky behavior simply because people are ‘going to do it anyway'”

Yes, she’s right — there are risks associated with marijuana use. One obvious risk is to the user’s health; smoking anything damages the lungs — but research strongly indicates that smoking pot is much less injurious than smoking tobacco. A significantly greater hazard is the risk of injury — to the user and to others. Pot clearly impairs psycho-motor performance. There’s certainly evidence of drivers impaired by marijuana being involved in auto accidents. Again, though, the numbers are much lower than for drivers impaired by alcohol.

I’m going to say this again: S.E. Cupp isn’t stupid. I often disagree with her, but she’s definitely not stupid. I don’t know, maybe she was high when she wrote that opinion piece. You can write opinion pieces when you’re stoned — another advantage of marijuana over guns (just ask the bear). But just to settle the question — no, the legalization of marijuana in Colorado doesn’t pose a political problem for progressives.

Stupidity, on the other hand, does pose a political problem for — well, for everybody.

ADDENDUM: Last night Kentucky State representative Leslie Combs was attempting to unload her handgun in the capitol building annex “when it accidentally fired. The bullet struck the floor and ricocheted into a bookcase.” Nobody was injured. Combs, though, might have been high, given her calm response to the accident: “I am a gun owner. It happens.”

he’s no gandhi

So there’s this guy in Utah who’s decided to go on a hunger strike. His name is Trestin Meacham. He’s a Mormon, a former candidate for the Utah State Senate (he lost), and a member of the Constitution Party. As you might guess, the Constitution Party is a pretty conservative group. Their goal:

[T]o restore American jurisprudence to its Biblical foundations and to limit the federal government to its Constitutional boundaries.

They want a moratorium on immigration, English as the official language of Utah and the United States, an end to legal abortion (even in cases of rape and/or incest), a ban on pornography, to criminalize certain sexual behaviors, and marriage to be legal only for a man and a woman.

Trestin Meacham

Trestin Meacham – hunger striker

It’s the last issue that’s sparked Meacham’s hunger strike. The day after District Judge Robert Shelby ruled Utah’s Amendment 3 (which prohibits same-sex couples from marrying) was unconstitutional, Meacham began to fast. He wrote:

I cannot stand by and do nothing while this evil takes root in my home. Some things in life are worth sacrificing one’s heath and even life if necessary. I am but a man, and do not have the money and power to make any noticeable influence in our corrupt system. Never the less, I can do something that people in power cannot ignore.”

He’s been called crazy, a nut case, an unhinged whack job, and an extremist. He may well be all those things. But even though I disagree with his beliefs and his position on same-sex marriage, I respect his approach.

Suffragette hunger striker being force-fed

Suffragette hunger striker being force-fed

The hunger strike belongs to a very long and honorable tradition. Under Brehon Law (the civil law which governed behavior in pre-Christian Ireland), it was called troscadh. A person who believed he’d suffered an injustice would set himself outside the door of the offending party and refuse food. He would remain there, outside the door, until the offending party relented, or until he abandoned the troscadh, or until he died.

The moral weight of the act was staggering for both parties, especially in a culture where hospitality was so highly honored. There was tremendous social pressure on both the person fasting and the person accused of the injustice to reach a settlement. It was rare for the injured party to be sincere enough in his claim to actually starve himself to death, and for the offending party to be sincere enough to allow that to happen. On those rare occasions, it was understood that the person accused of the injustice would pay compensation to the family of the dead man.

When used by an individual against a group or a policy or an entire government, the act was called cealachan. It was more about social justice than individual justice. It was used by the Irish against the British for centuries, but the practice of the hunger strike is pretty universal. Gandhi used it several times, American suffragettes used it, Cuban dissidents used it, and detainees in Guantanamo have used it.

Gandhi during one of his hunger strikes

Gandhi during one of his hunger strikes

And now Trestin Meacham is using it. I confess, I don’t understand his reasoning. I can’t think of how allowing same-sex couple the legitimacy of marriage could be considered an injustice. This is what he says on his blog:

On Friday the 20th of December, a federal judge overturned the State Constitution of Utah and ruled against and its restriction against same sex marriage.  In so doing, Article 1 Section 8 and the 10th Amendment of the U.S Constitution were violated.  Even worse a law voted on by a strong majority of the people of Utah was rescinded, thus robbing the people of their voice in government.  And if this law remains, the natural rights of free speech and religious freedom, vouched safe by the first Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, will be violated.

But how is free speech violated? He has a blog that can be read by anybody, in which he openly expresses his religious and political views. That IS free speech. Nor can I see any barrier on his ability to openly practice his religion. Nobody is preventing him from attending services, nobody is interfering with his right to live his life according to his religious beliefs. Nor is anybody interfering with his hunger strike, which is in itself an expression of his civil rights.

This has nothing to do with hatred of a group of people.  I have friends and relatives who practice a homosexual lifestyle and I treat them with the same respect and kindness that I would anyone.  This is about religious freedom, and an out of control federal government.

Well, no — it’s not about religious freedom. It’s a ludicrous claim. Nor is it about ‘an out of control federal government.’ It’s about the simple fact that Meacham’s religious and political beliefs are in conflict with the law. He may not hate gay folks — I can’t see into his heart, so I don’t know. But I do know he wants the right to discriminate against them.

Suffragettes engaged in hunger strikes to secure the right of women to vote. Gandhi went on hunger strike to support Indian independence from Britain and to stop violence between Muslims and Hindus. IRA hunger strikers were fasting to assert their right to be recognized as political prisoners, not common criminals. The Gitmo hunger strikers are protesting their continued incarceration without having been tried or convicted of a crime.

Trestin Meacham, on the other hand, is fasting to prevent people who love each other from marrying.

I support Meacham’s right to protest the law. I support his right to speak out against same-sex marriage in Utah. I support his right to go on hunger strike, and starve himself to death for a cause he believes in — despite the fact that I think his cause is absurd and hateful. I even support his right to claim he’s doing this a noble cause.

But there’s nothing at all noble about denying other folks the rights you enjoy yourself.

Addendum: Today Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor put a halt to Utah’s same-sex marriages pending an appeal of Judge Shelby’s ruling. More than 900 same-sex couples were married during the interval between Shelby’s decision and Sotomayor’s order. None of this had anything to do with Meacham, his fast, or his civil liberties.