Category Archives: politics

i’m not against, i don’t think, i don’t believe

Posted on by
4

It’s really sort of amazing. Here’s Marco Rubio — Republican Senator from Florida and hopeless candidate for President of These United States — telling Bob Schieffer, the mummified host of Face the Nation, two totally contradictory statements in a row:

[I]t’s not that I’m against gay marriage. I believe the definition of the institution of marriage should be between one man and one woman.

He’s not against gay marriage — he just believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. No matter how many times I repeat that, it continues to defy my ability to make sense of it. Schieffer, to his credit, didn’t leap out of his chair and scream “What the fuck are you talking about?” He allowed Rubio to continue.

States have always regulated marriage. And if a state wants to have a different definition, you should petition the state legislature and have a political debate. I don’t think courts should be making that decision. I don’t believe same-sex marriage is a constitutional right.

But State courts have always had the power to decide if laws passed by State legislatures are in accord with the State constitution. That’s what happened in Massachusetts in 2004. And in Connecticut in 2008, and in Iowa in 2009. And also in Wyoming and Alabama and Wisconsin and Arizona and West Virginia and eighteen other states. Of the 37 states in which marriage equality exists, 26 of those states legalized it through the court system.

But Rubio had still more to say about same-sex marriage. He continued:

I also don’t believe that your sexual preferences are a choice for the vast and enormous majority of people. And, in fact, the bottom line is that I believe that sexual preference is something that people are born with.

Rubio agrees the ‘”vast and enormous majority” of folks who identify as gay are born that way. But he apparently also believes that being born gay automatically deprives those folks of the privilege of marrying somebody they love.

Here’s the interview. Rubio’s incoherent  and contradictory stance on same-sex marriage is near the end (it begins around the ninth minute):

Earlier in the interview (if you can stomach it) Rubio makes equally incoherent and garbled statements about U.S. policy towards Iran, his reasons for running for office, and climate change. This is classic Rubio — a dedicated refusal to offer up any answer that might some day be used against him. This is the guy who, when asked about the age of the Earth, said this:

“I’m not a scientist, man….[T]here are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created.”

Then followed that up with:

“It’s one of the great mysteries.”

No, it’s not. It’s not a great mystery. Rubio may not be a scientist, but folks who ARE scientist are pretty fucking clear about this NOT being anything remotely like a mystery. By weasling out of the question, Rubio is effectively saying “I’m not a scientist, and I’m not willing to believe anything scientists tell me.” He’s effectively saying “Science can go fuck itself in the neck.”

I'm not a biologist. There are multiple theories about whether this is my finger. It might be my finger. It's a mystery.

I’m not a biologist. There are multiple theories about whether this is my finger. It might be my finger. It’s a mystery.

But there’s one brightly illuminated, internally consistent, deeply suppressed thread that ties all those disjointed positions together. It’s this: Rubio wants to get elected, and he’ll attempt to avoid saying anything that might possibly cost him a vote. If he has any strong opinion about anything at all, he’ll strangle it in the crib before letting it interfere with his ambitions.

You know what’s really a mystery? How a person is able to stand erect while having a spine made of Jello.

that’s done, then

Posted on by
6

Well, there it is. Hillary Clinton is going to be the next President of These United States. We can all relax now.

Oh, we’ll still have to go through a painfully long and deeply vicious campaign. There’ll be an obscene amount of money spent, and it’ll get ugly really quick, but it won’t make much difference in the end. And, of course, there’s that whole election business, but I don’t think the Republicans can disenfranchise enough voters to prevent her election. So unless she does something incredibly stupid, Hillary will be the first woman president. It’s as inevitable as anything can be in American politics (which is to say it’s pretty fucking inevitable).

Hillary Clinton - Democratic candidate for president

Hillary Clinton – Democratic candidate for president

Here are three reasons why she’ll be elected. First, she’s a Democrat and right now the Democratic party is the only party in the U.S. that isn’t completely batshit insane. The GOP has encouraged and nourished extremists to the extent that nobody can survive a primary race without embracing at least a half-dozen policies that are so fucking ridiculous and/or hateful they’ll make the general public recoil in horror. Or, worse, laughter. Whoever survives the GOP cannibal island primary and gets the nomination will either believe or claim to believe some lunatic fringe ideas. Like evolution is ‘just a theory’ or ‘there’s no scientific consensus on climate change’ or ‘there is a war against Christians in the U.S.’ or ‘the Second Amendment is under attack.’

The most only closest thing they have to a serious candidate is Jeb Bush. Jeb Bush is about as interesting as a blancmange.

Jeb Bush -- Republican candidate for president (probably)

Jeb Bush — Republican candidate for president (probably)

Second, Hillary Clinton is oddly scandal-proof. It’s not that she’s immune to scandal; it’s that she’s been a scandal magnet for so long that another scandal won’t really matter. Even better, so many of the scandals attached to Hillary have been so patently absurd that they suck the energy out of any genuine scandal. She’s been the target of a couple dozen Congressional investigations, all of which received a lot of press attention and all of which ended with a quiet ‘no actual wrongdoing was found’ report.

The Republicans will attack her, to be sure. The problem for them is that so many of those attacks will be clearly deranged. Every time some fuckwit calls her Hitlery, or attacks her as a Communist lesbian who killed Vince Foster to prevent him from revealing the Arkansas drug smuggling ring, it’ll chip away at any legitimate attacks that could (and should) be made against her. In that sense, the crazier the Hillary conspiracy theory, the better for her candidacy.

Hitlery - delusional fuckwit candidate for tyrant

Hitlery – delusional fuckwit candidate for tyrant

Third, like her or not, as president Hillary Clinton can be counted on to do some things no Republican would do. Like protect marriage equality and the Affordable Care Act. Hillary may not want to move the U.S. forward very far or very quickly, but at least she’s not trying to drag us back to some whitebread misguided fantasy of the 1950s.

I admit, Hillary Clinton isn’t the candidate I’d have picked. She’s not progressive enough for me, and she’s overly concerned with secrecy (though it’s hard to blame her for that, given the public shark pool she’s lived in for the last three decades or so). She’s too friendly with Wall Street, and she’s too inclined to consider the politics of an issue before anything else. But she’s pragmatic, she’s smart, and she’s been around the block a few times. We could do a lot worse.

holy peyote and the fuckwit collective

Posted on by
5

“I think it’s important we have a sense of perspective. In Iran they hang you for the crime of being gay.”

Seriously. This jamoke actually said that. Out loud. I mean, yeah, he said it on CNN (which nobody watches anymore) to Wolf Blitzer (to whom nobody listens anymore), but he still said it. If a fuckwitted tree falls in a fuckwitted forest and there’s nobody but Wolf Blitzer around to hear, does it still make a sound? It surely does.

Here. Listen to Senator Tom Cotton go boom:

So. We don’t treat gay folks nearly as bad as they do in Iran. Yay?

Senator Cotton claims the RFRAs issued by the legislatures in Indiana and Arkansas are ‘modeled’ after the original RFRA signed by President Clinton. Modeled after. Not identical, not similar to — modeled after.

Here’s a fact that for some reason always gets omitted in these discussions about the Republican-based RFRA laws: the original Religious Freedom Restoration Act was written to protect the rights of Native Americans whose worship practices were sometimes in violation of Federal law. Their religion sometimes required them to hold ceremonies on what they considered to be sacred land — but which was considered by the government to be Federal land held under Federal jurisdiction and therefore subject to Federal laws. And their religious rites sometimes required the use of peyote.

Peyote cactus

Holy peyote

That’s right, the original RFRA — the one Senator Cotton and Governor Pence and Governor Hutchinson keep saying was the model for their RFRAs — was created to allow American Indians to use psychedelic mushrooms on Federal land.

Now that is religious freedom. That protects the right to practice religion.

Can I get an Amen, brothers and sisters.

the fuckwit collective

Posted on by
5

Back in the early 1950s a biologist named James V. McConnell taught flatworms to run a maze. Well, not run exactly. We’re talking flatworms here. Dugesia dorotocephala. No legs, you see. And not much of a brain. Just enough brain to understand that turning left results in an electrical shock and turning right doesn’t. Just enough brain to comprehend that not getting shocked is, as Shakespeare put it, a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Elizabethan playwrights aside, the point is as follows: Dr. McConnell demonstrated that flatworms are capable of learning from their mistakes.

So why aren’t Republicans capable of that same intellectual feat?

Dugesia -- more clever than Republicans

Dugesia dorotocephala — more clever than Republicans

Assuming you haven’t spent the last week orally attached to an opium pipe, you probably noticed there was a lot of anger directed at Indiana’s Governor Mike ‘Tunahead’ Pence for signing into law a pretty reprehensible Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA, which, sadly, is often pronounced ‘riff-rah’). Pence, who seemed genuinely surprised that folks would get upset by a law that effectively allowed businesses to discriminate against gay folks, has spent the last few days engaged in a virtuoso performance of high wire stupidity without a net.

Having witnessed the outrage directed at Indiana and the ensuing havoc, what did the Republican legislators of Arkansas do? They decided to pass a virtually identical RFRA. Seriously. They watched Mike Pence slam a door on his own dick and turned to each other and said “Man, that looked like it hurt…let’s try it.”

Arkansas State Representative Bob 'Bag of Hammers' Ballinger

Arkansas State Representative Bob ‘Bag of Hammers’ Ballinger

Cuddly State Representative Bob Ballinger defends the Arkansas bill, saying it protects religious freedom.

“If it’s a butcher who is a Muslim and doesn’t deal in pork, you can’t make him deal in pork. If it’s a Christian who is against same-sex marriage, you can’t make him perform a same-sex marriage.”

Right there — those two sentences — a demonstration of densely packed stupidity. Flatworms reading those two sentences would look at each other in consternation and make unflattering comparisons between Representative Ballinger and a bag of hammers.

Allow me to clarify the issue. A Muslim butcher can’t be forced to sell pork, but if that Muslim butcher chooses to sell pork to the public, then he has to sell pork to all the public. He can’t refuse to sell pork to gay folks. What Ballinger and Spence and everybody else in the Fuckwit Collective that’s become the Republican Party want is the right to refuse to sell pork to gay folks.

It’s not that complicated. Thirty-three years ago the Supreme Court of These United States issued a ruling that spelled it out pretty clearly. Here’s the relevant portion of the decision in United States vs. Lee 1982 (emphasis added):

The state may justify a limitation on religious liberty by showing that it is essential to accomplish an overriding governmental interest… Congress and the courts have been sensitive to the needs flowing from the Free Exercise Clause, but every person cannot be shielded from all the burdens incident to exercising every aspect of the right to practice religious beliefs. When followers of a particular sect enter into commercial activity as a matter of choice, the limits they accept on their own conduct as a matter of conscience and faith are not to be superimposed on the statutory schemes which are binding on others in that activity.

Entering a commercial activity as a matter of choice. That’s it, right there. Becoming a butcher, a baker, or yeah, a candlestick maker is a choice. If you really truly honestly believe there’s a conflict between that commercial decision and your religious beliefs, you have to make another choice. Follow the law or follow your faith.

But refusing to bake a cake for a gay wedding doesn’t make you a good Christian. It makes you an asshole.

Jesus and the Centurion

Jesus and the Centurion

Here’s a Bible story (seriously, I’m going to tell a Bible story here). So Jesus is noodling around Capernaum, right? And this Roman Centurion sidles up to him and says — wait, a tangent; you have to remember that Roman soldiers weren’t particularly popular with the native population of Palestine. So anyway, the Centurion comes up and says “Jesus, my body servant is way sick. Do us a solid and heal him, would you please?” Okay, body servant — another tangent here. Roman citizens who served in the military often had slaves whose job was to attend to their master’s bodily needs — everything from washing them to massaging them to dressing them to helping them release sexual tension. It was just part of Roman culture. So, back to the Bible story. This Roman asks Jesus to heal his body servant, right? Did Jesus say “Sorry, dude, I don’t serve the gays”? No. Did Jesus say “No cake for Centurions”? No. Did Jesus say “Oh, man, I’d really like to help, some of my best friends are Romans and boink their body servants, but sorry, no can do”?  No, he didn’t. Jesus just said “Okay, done.” And bingo, the servant was healed.

I’m not a Christian, but that’s a pretty good story. It’s a story that maybe Mike ‘Tunahead’ Pence and Bob ‘Bag of Hammers’ Ballinger and the rest of so-called Christians in the Fuckwit Collective might want to read. If Jesus can heal a body servant and dine with prostitutes and hang out with tax collectors, then you’d have to be a piss poor Christian to refuse to bake a cake for a gay wedding.

UPDATE: Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, who had previously pledged to sign the legislature’s RFRA, changed his mind today. He returned the bill to the legislature and asked them to change the language. But it’s important to note that unless the governor actually vetos the bill — if the Arkansas legislature refuses to change the language as Hutchinson requested — the RFRA will automatically become law without the governor’s signature.

The Fuckwit Collective strikes again.

well okay, ted cruz then

Posted on by
10

Extremism is a robust virus in the body politic. What does a virus do? It infects the host and uses it as a medium for reproducing itself. It uses the host as a platform for spreading itself to other hosts. An effective virus makes the host sick, but not too sick. Think common cold.

A co-worker catches a cold from her child, who caught it from a classmate at school. You catch the cold and spread it to your family. Your family spreads the cold around. That’s an effective virus. An effective virus doesn’t threaten the host’s survival, because a dead host means the virus can no longer reproduce.

An ineffective virus replicates too quickly, spreads too quickly, kills the host. Think rabies. Think Ebola.

horsey-republican-theories_t470

The modern Republican party is sick with extremism. It’s been sick since the early 1990s and it’s getting sicker. It used to be a healthy political party. There used to be a plentiful supply of moderate antibodies that kept the extremist infection at bay. Over time, the GOP has become increasingly sick. Fewer antibodies and a heavier viral load allowed more pernicious strains of extremism to infect the Republican party. This made a Ted Cruz presidential campaign possible — maybe even inevitable.

Ted Cruz is rabies. Ted Cruz is Ebola. A Ted Cruz presidential campaign will create an environment in which the GOP host necessarily must either improve and regain its health or enter a death spiral. His candidacy will force Republican moderates (assuming any still exist) who want to be president to either adopt Cruz-like extremist positions or reject them. If they adopt them, those candidates become poison in the general election. Candidates who reject Cruz-like extremist positions, however, will find it much more difficult to survive the primary campaign.

ted cruz 2016

Either way, the Ted Cruz candidacy almost certainly guarantees Republicans will lose the presidential election. Right now, the GOP is simply too sick to win the presidency. Still, the Ted Cruz campaign is good news — for the Republican party and for the nation. The GOP will either begin the long painful road to recovery or it will become terminal. Either result benefits the nation.

Shorter version:

Vote for Rabies in 2016!

case closed

Posted on by
9

When Rudy Giuliani announces that he’s about to say something horrible, you can count on it being really horrible. He knows what he’s talking about. He says horrible things pretty often. If you seriously want to be good at saying horrible things, you have to be willing to commit, to devote the hours of practice required. Rudy has put in the hours.

“I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that this President loves America. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up.”

President Obama doesn’t love Rudy Giuliani. In his mind, that’s pretty much the same thing as not loving America. I mean, he’s Rudy Nine-Eleven, after all. He’s America’s Mayor. Rudy Giuliani, America — no difference. And that’s because Rudy G. was brought up in the right way

America-loving American Rudy Guiliani in America

America-loving American Rudy Giuliani in America

Barack Obama, on the other hand, was brought up in the wrong way. And because of that, Obama doesn’t love America. Here’s the problem, according to Rudy G (and really, I’m not making this up at all — he actually said this):

“The ideas that are troubling me and are leading to this come from communists with whom he associated when he was nine years old.”

That’s right, when Obama was nine years old he was associating with communists. Nine. Years. Old. When Obama was nine he was living in Indonesia — and you guys, Indonesia is not America. It’s just not. A year or so later, when Obama was living in Hawaii, he met a friend of his grandfather — a guy named Frank Marshall Davis, who just happened to be a poet. a labor organizer, and maybe even an actual member of the actual Communist Party.

Therefore, Obama doesn’t love America.

America-hating Maybe-Communist Frank M. Dave in Hawaii (not quite America)

America-hating Maybe-Communist Frank M. Davis in Hawaii (not quite America)

Rudy Giuliani, on the other hand, totally loves America. Did Rudy’s grandfather ever introduce him to a communist poet labor organizer? No sir, he did not. Rudy was raised by Americans. Decent law-abiding Americans living in America.

Well, okay, Rudy’s uncle Leo may not have been entirely decent or law-abiding. There was that unfortunate loan-sharking and gambling operation Leo D’Avanzo ran out of a bar in Brooklyn, but c’mon, it’s not like his grandfather had a friend who might have been a communist, right? And yeah, okay, maybe Rudy’s daddy Harold might have worked as muscle for Uncle Leo, collecting bad debts through the judicious use of a baseball bat. What’s more American than a baseball bat? And yeah, maybe Rudy G’s daddy also did eighteen months in Sing Sing for robbing a milkman with a gun, but hey at least Sing Sing is in America, and it was probably an American-made gun. And yeah, sure, okay, maybe Rudy’s cousin Lewis ran a car theft ring and was shot dead in 1977 when he tried to run over an FBI agent, but those were stolen American cars, made in Detroit. What could be more American than a Detroit-built car? And that FBI agent he tried to run over? He was as American as can be.

America-hating President of Communist America Barack Obama of Kenya

America-hating President of Communist America Barack Obama of Kenya

Rudy Giuliani’s whole entire family is all about America. And Barack Obama? His granddaddy knew a goddam commie. Do you really need to ask who loves America the most? I think not.

Case closed.

dude, c’mon. alabama

Posted on by
11

— I don’t understand what’s going on in Alabama.

— That’s okay. The people of Alabama don’t always understand what’s going on in Alabama. Nobody has ever quite understood what’s going on in Alabama. When Hernando de Soto first passed through the area, the Choctaw Indians who lived there are quoted as saying “Who the hell ARE these people. What the hell are they up to? We just don’t understand.”

— I mean this whole same-sex marriage thing. What’s up with that?

— Oh, right, that. Well, back in 2006 Alabama added a Sanctity of Marriage Amendment to their State Constitution.

— What’s a Sanctity of Marriage Amendment? What does it do?

— It said marriage was “a sacred covenant, solemnized between a man and a woman.” It basically told same-sex couples they could go fuck themselves.

— Really?

— Yeah. Well, no…not literally. I mean, it’s only been about seven months…yeah, that’s right, months…that Alabama’s anti-sodomy law was finally kicked to the curb. Alabama law doesn’t much like gay folks. The Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court thinks gay sex is icky. Back in 2002 he wrote a legal opinion saying homosexuality was “a crime in Alabama, a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it.”

Chief Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court -- thinks gay sex is icky.

Chief Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court — thinks gay sex is icky.

— Lawdy. Defies one’s ability to describe it? You know, it’s really not that hard to describe gay sex.

— I know, right? Anyway, a couple weeks ago a federal judge said the Sanctity of Marriage Amendment was unconstitutional, and Alabama couldn’t use it to deny a marriage license to same-sex couples.

— Oh, well that should settle it, right?

— Dude, c’mon. This is Alabama. The Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court told the federal court it could go fuck itself. Again, not literally. On account of that would be icky, and all that.

— Can the Chief Justice of anyplace actually do that?

— Nope.

— Is that the same Chief Justice who wrote that earlier opinion?

— It surely is. He’s a yahoo named Roy Moore. He told the folks who issue marriages licenses at the county offices to ignore the federal court ruling. Told them they should refuse to issue licences to same-sex couples.

— They ought to kick that guy out of office.

— They actually did. Back in 2003. Kicked his ass right out of office.

Jusge Roy Moore with two-and-a-half tons of Commandments

Judge Roy Moore with two-and-a-half tons of Commandments

— Because of the gay thing?

— Nope. It was another thing. Judge Moore commissioned a two-and-a-half ton monument to the Ten Commandments, which he put in the central rotunda of the Alabama Supreme Court.

— That’s pretty much a violation of the separation of church and state, isn’t it?

— Pretty much.

— So what happened?

— Somebody sued. A federal judge said the monument had to be removed. Judge Moore told the judge to go fuck himself.

— Not literally.

— No, not literally. Anyway, Moore refused to remove the monument, and eventually an Alabama judiciary commission booted his ass out of office.

— But he’s back now? He’s the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court again?

— Yep. Again.

— Why? How?

— Dude, c’mon. Alabama.

— Right. Okay, so what’s going to happen?

— Damned if I know. Some Alabama counties are issuing marriage license to same-sex couple, some are refusing to issue licences to same-sex couples, some have stopped issuing marriage licenses to anybody.

Alabama couple refused a license to marry

Alabama couple refused a license to marry

— That doesn’t make any sense, does it?

— Nope.

— That judge, Moore…he’s going to lose again, isn’t he? Eventually?

— Almost certainly. He might be able to drag this fuss out until later in the year when the U.S. Supreme Court issues a final ruling about same-sex marriage. But yeah, he’s almost certainly going to lose. Again.

Alabama couple granted a license to marry

Alabama couple granted a license to marry

— So he’s causing all this trouble and confusion because of some religious principle?

— That’s what he says. The Bible, and all that.

— But the Bible isn’t the law. The Ten Commandments aren’t the law.

— Nope.

— I mean, there’s all that coveting business. We’re pretty much free to covet whatever the hell we want in America, aren’t we?

— Pretty much.

— I mean, this is America. We’re all about coveting, aren’t we.

— Totally about the coveting.

— So why is all this happening?

— Dude, c’mon. It’s Alabama.

UPDATE 9/27/2017

— I see your boy Roy Moore is back.

— Not my boy, but yeah. Year and a half later and he’s back. Just won the Republican primary to run for the United States Senate representing the great state of Alabama.

— So what happened back then about that gay marriage business?

—  Glad you asked. A couple of months later Moore was suspended from the Alabama Supreme Court for the second time.

— So that settled that.

— You’d think. But nope. Moore told the Alabama Judicial Inquiry Commission to go fuck itself.

— Not literally, right?

— Right. He sued them. Said it was unconstitutional to suspend him from the court just on account of he refuse to obey the law.

— You’re making that up, right?

— Nope. But then a couple of months after that, same sex marriage became legal everywhere. Including in Alabama.

— Right. So that settled everything, right?

— Dude, c’mon. It’s Alabama. Moore’s suit against the Judicial Inquiry Whatsit dragged itself on like a damned zombie until just a few months ago. April, 2017. That’s when a special Alabama court told Moore to go fuck himself. No, not literally. They upheld his suspension.

— Suspension.

— Bingo. He wasn’t kicked off the court this time. He was just suspended from ever sitting at the bench and hearing a case or doing anything remotely supreme courtish.

— What did Moore do?

— He told the special Alabama court to go fuck itself. He resigned and said he’d run for the U.S. Senate.

— Which he did.

— Which he totally did. And yeah, last night he won the nomination. I think it was the thing with the gun that sealed his win.

— Thing with the gun?

Former judge Roy Moore says hello to his little friend.

— On Monday, the day before the election, Moore was giving a speech and he pulled out a handgun.

— Onstage? Why?

— To show he loves guns. It was just a little silver revolver, kind of a girly gun, but still. Some folks love that stuff.

— So he’s going to be the next United States Senator for Alabama?

— Well, he’ll have to face a Democrat in the next election, but yeah, he’s the Republican nominee.

— Lawdy.

— I know, right?

— But this guy’s completely horrible. He can’t possibly win, can he?

— Dude, c’mon. It’s Alabama.

palin unshackled

Posted on by
5

You guys, former sorta Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has had it up to here with your elitist tyranny of sentence structure. In her stirring speech made before a packed audience of fellow patriots Palin cast off the iron chains of syntax, context, and linear thought, as well as grammar, or in other words Free at last, free at last, as Jeebus said on his midnight ride to address the nation on the critical importunation that only drilling for oil can set These Great United States on the right course to prosperity and keeping illegal immigrants from driving, as Ronald Reagan said in the Gettysburg Address.

You can see the entire ‘speech’ here:

And oh, it is quite the speech, yessiree, until about thirteen minutes into it when the teleprompter went toes up and Governoress Palin was given the opportunity to say what exactly was exactly on her mind exactly as she thought it. Insights and wisdoms that, which no doubt, without fear or the burden of the lamestream media were, you know, uttered and uttered boldly.As did our forefathers before us. And Reagan, too also.

The audience sat stunned and amazed as Palin spoke and addressed many of the important issues faced by the world and America, which as you may have used to know is the greatest nation of the planet of Earth, even if Obama bows to Muslim leaders while refusing to negotiate with our own elected leaders in Congress, is that how he thinks hope and change works? Well, it isn’t. Also? Nobody likes Michael Moore. Or his stupid hat.

palin freedom summit

Not everybody, including some noble Republicans, saw the underlying insights and wisdoms, even among those that are to be found in FreeRepublic. Some were perhaps maybe sorta kinda almost maybe dismissive almost maybe of the former governor.

“I watched it and there were smatterings of applause and some laughter. Palin was all over the place. No real coherence or continuity. Just a bunch of one liners.”

“I listened for a few minutes but Mrs. Palin’s shrill, runaway, ululating voice got to me immediately. My God….just about the worst, most irritating voice I’ve ever heard emanating from any politician’s throat. Pulling myself together, I continued to watch, and it only got worse. I have but one observation….the speech was corny, folksy, trite, lacking form or coherence and almost void of issues with proposed answers presented logically and with craftsmanship.”

But naysayers will say nay, as we all know, just like the Nazis said nay to Patrick Henry who swore he’d not give up the ship until he saw the whites of their eyes. Many stepped up and forward and up again to defend the former sorta kinda governor and her graceful eloquent-like ululating voice.

“My wife and I just watched (Sunday afternoon) your EXCELLENTLY PREPARED AND PRESENTED SPEECH at the Freedom Summit.”

“The theme was she is kicking off her campaign and she laid out the path to victory. The ending was inspiring. She is the only one who can win.”

“Her speech was fine. Anyone who would make a comment such as yours is coming from a Pre-determined animus. You are exposed.”

“I watched the entire Palin speech. She hit on every theme we believe in here on FreeRepublic. It was not incoherent, she was not drunk, she did not ramble. It was entertaining, and that is her informal style of speech. I would rather have that level of reality and honesty than trained speakers who are polished but say nothing that they actually believe in. She is the next Ronald Reagan.”

“Her new speech pattern with her SINCERE gestures in this presentation was tailored to deliver specific information to specific people and not just to persuade potential voters and supporters who were in attendance there. I’m a voice coach. I pay attention to how she’s doing. She nailed it Saturday in Iowa.”

And, of course, there those among FreeRepublic who support near-Governor Palin totally and completely and with all their hearts though not for President of These United States but a lesser and more girlier job, as intended by God and the grand old flag that flew so proudly over Fort Sumter when the Japanese attacked and Francis Scott Card wrote the Star Spankled Banner for. Like this guy:

“She would make an OUTSTANDING Cabinet member. Say Secretary of Energy or Secretary of the Interior. She could make LIBTARD heads explode.”

And who among us would deny the importance of a policy based entirely on exploding Libtard heads? Not the Founding Fathers, no sirree, who wrote the Constitution and protected our rights to carry without having to explain our faith or creed to Harvard elites who would mock and jeer and cast the first fish upon the water. Amen.

palin ready for hillary

Governor-lite Palin is considering, she says, and who could doubt her sincerity, which is an attribute needed to be presidential like Reagan, to run for the highest office in the land or the entire world in 2016 though she hasn’t made a decision yet, and won’t until she prays to Jeebus and also Reagan.