what? another mass shooting?

Posted on July 24, 2015 by greg

Its either black gangs, an ADD/autistic drug white boy on antidepressants, or a moslem.

Oh, FreeRepublic, you never fail me. America dishes up another serving of mass murder, and y’all rush to ladle the paranoid gravy over it. Let’s rely on our almost total lack of information and wildly speculate on who’d do a horrible thing like that, shall we?

In order, here are the odds: 1) Moose-slime jihadist, 2) A son of Obama, 3) Criminal invader from across the Rio Grande, 4) Leftist (like Dylan Roof, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley, James Earl Ray…)

Could be ISIS-Arab—out to take some Americans and go to Paradise?

But wait…what’s this? News reports indicate the shooter was “an older white male”? Oh no, how can it be? What can it mean? Could it possibly be…a woman’s fault?

Just a guess that ex went to the movies with someone the shooter didn’t want her going to the movies with.

Maybe he was after the woman who was in his life at one time, and she was now with someone else.

John Russell House, alleged white guy (possible ISIS plant or maybe even a Democrat)

But if it’s not a woman’s fault, it must be Obama’s. Or maybe just random Democrats. Or liberals in general.

Simple. Rampant liberalism is the cause. The axis of evil in the White Mosque has set up an environment for leftists to engage in these killing sprees. Aside from the shooter, hussein, holder and jarrett are equally guilty. As long as the regime remains in place, it’s vital for Patriots to be well armed.

How many mass shootings does that bring us to now under this “wonderful administration”? Seems like it’s almost weekly now. What a country we turned out to be!

Well, if it does turn out that he was white — which is still doubtful in my mind — note that his political party isn’t mentioned in that media release. Typical of the drivebys. That’s proof he was a DemonRAT — like all of the other mass murders.

Given that liberalism is mental illness, it’s a sure thing this utterly crazy and evil man in Lafayette was a registered ‘RAT.

The very high 90th percent of this crap is done by liberals. ‘Tea Party types” doing this is almost non-existent. Liberalism is the ultimate cause. No self control, no morals, lots of mind altering drugs and victimhood delusions pushed by other liberals. They should all be caged.

The real scandal is a nutjob who should’ve been institutionalized, but b/c of decades of leftists policies, was allowed to roam free. Also, the types & amounts of taxpayer-provided welfare the @-hole was sucking in that allowed him to move around the country, live in motels, and purchase disguises, weapons, & ammo.

But oh no, there’s some suggestion by news sources that the shooter might have been a member of the Tea Party! How dare the news media leap to conclusions based on nothing more than the suspect’s name and race! How dare they make conjectures without any objective supporting evidence!

Anytime there’s a shooting the first thing the media does is check the names of anyone who ever joined a “tea party”.

How quick the media find a Tea Party connection. We’ll be hearing that non-stop.

Of course, it’s possible this could be a ‘false flag’ operation by Obama-led liberals intended to make it appear as if the shooter was a Tea Party fuckwit. Not just possible, really, but probable. In fact, it’s almost a certainty.

A 58 old white male involved in a national news shooting when we have stories this week of the govt desiring to link social security with whether someone is competent for owning a gun? Yeah a little too convenient..

Member of a FAKE Tea Party group run by a lawer who doesn’t pay his bills and belives in big government. Does that sound like a Tea Party member to you? Other REAL Tea Party members are even saying he’s fake.

And then the shooter. A guy who is reportedly homeless yet he’s staying in a Motel 6 and has a handgun and wigs and disguises and he supposedly used to own a bar and several business but he disappears off the radar sometime in 2006? Really? You know what this sounds like? A spec op. You know who else has disappears off the grid for years? Spooks. And they borrow other people’s identities or use fake ones that are completely fabricated that the feds create for them through credit agencies. I know this for a fact. Does all of this sound like bull$hit to you? It should.

FBI agents discussing how to plant evidence to frame Tea Party, probably.

But one thing is absolutely, totally, incontrovertibly clear. Everything would have been perfectly fine if more people in the theater had been armed and prepared to return fire.

Gun-free zone?

The safest place for a criminal is a gun-free zone. The safest place for Conservatives (good guys) is where an abundance of guns can be found. Killings at gun shows and gun ranges are close to non-existent.

Criminals flourish when law-abiding Patriots are unarmed. My church of Christ congregation here in Texas is NOT a gun-free zone. The preacher always places his gun in a shelf under the pulpit and most members are armed during services. We’ve never had an incident like that in Charleston. Should a leftist come in and try to do such a thing, he’ll be graveyard dead thanks to a flurry of hot lead in the head. Praise the Lord

More guns, yes, of course. That’s the answer. If only this country had a cadre of brave, patriotic, armed American citizens willing to park their asses in lawn-chairs outside movie theaters and military recruiting stations — men of iron will and brass buttocks, who know weapons and how to use them (mostly) — men who will lay down their lives and their Big Gulps to protect others (though not quite willing to actually enlist in the military).

Feel safe now?

Let’s face it, nothing will make you feel safer after you’ve been attacked by a stranger with a gun than to have multiple strangers with multiple guns loitering around outside your door. Just think how secure you’d feel if this was what you saw when you went to buy your tickets to see Bruce Willis in Pride and Predator 3 (Jane Austen’s back…and this time she’s armed and angry!).

Praise Jeebus, keep your ammunition dry, and always choose the 64 ounce drink (it’s the best value).

this week in responsible gun ownership!

Posted on June 12, 2015 by greg

A three-year-old boy in Myrtle Beach, SC found a loaded handgun in a dresser drawer and ‘accidentally caused it to discharge.’ Unfortunately, the firearm discharged into the boy. His family rushed him to the hospital, where an ‘unknown situation unfolded between the victim’s family members.’ The unknown situation, which took place in the hospital parking lot, resulted in a Second Amendment exercise in which another family member was shot. The boy was reported to be in stable condition after surgery.

Analysis: Responsible gun owners! It would have been irresponsible to leave their guns at home, unattended, after the toddler had shot himself.

In Orlando, Florida an unnamed 31-year-old man and his wife were awakened by a noise. He grabbed his handgun, went to investigate, and exercised his Second Amendment right by shooting his 17-year-old brother dead. A neighbor said, “[T]hey all seemed to be nice people, but I guess you never know,”

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! Target identification needs work, but his aim was perfect.

Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament and Near Miss.

A 20-year-old man in Altoona, PA has been charged with reckless endangerment after his handgun discharged accidentally during mass at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament. Matthew Crawford, the gun owner, was ‘grazed’ during the Second Amendment incident; nobody else was harmed. Crawford’s attorney is seeking to dismiss the charges on the grounds that his client’s conduct didn’t rise to the level of ‘recklessness’.

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! What if a Muslim had decided to attack the cathedral? Preventing a citizen from carrying a loaded, unholstered handgun with the safety off into a cathedral is both tyranny AND an assault on Christianity.

Meanwhile, in Sioux Falls, SD, 36-year-old Nicholas Anderson was charged with recklessly firing a gun after exercising his Second Amendment rights during a domestic dispute with his wife. After she removed pictures from the wall of their home and hurled them at him, Anderson took his wife’s laptop computer into their back yard and fired seven rounds from his handgun at it. It’s unclear if any of the pictures struck Mr. Anderson; however, all seven rounds he fired at the laptop hit the target.

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! Nobody died, nobody was even injured. Without his Second Amendment rights, Anderson would have been forced to throw pictures at his wife’s computer.

In Deltona, Florida an unnamed 29-year-old man was taken to the hospital for a medical episode believed to be related to anxiety. The anxiety appears to have been triggered when the man shot and killed Elvis Valentin. Valentin was arguing with the shooter’s brother after the brother had driven his car across Valentin’s yard. Believing his brother was in danger, the shooter fired one round and killed Valentin.

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! One bullet, one kill. If it’s good enough for SEAL snipers, it’s good enough for defending your sibling. After he trespasses on a neighbor’s lawn. In a car.

Katie Pallante — animal lover.

Twenty-six-year-old Katie Pallante of Phoenix, AZ was forced to use her Second Amendment rights to interrupt a dog fight. Ms. Pallante is apparently an animal lover; she informed police she was caring for 22 dogs and three cats. When two of the dogs began to fight, she attempted to separate them by using water. When that failed, she used her .40 caliber handgun to shoot the male dog. She shot him in the abdomen, according to court records, because “she did not want to kill him.” Unfortunately, the female dog then attacked the male, forcing her to shoot that dog as well.

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! When water fails to break up a dogfight, common sense suggests a .40 caliber solution. Irresponsible pet owner! Why does she have those three cats?

Two employees of The Shootin’ Shop in Abilene, Texas were wounded when a customer’s newly purchased Second Amendment handgun wasn’t working properly. The unnamed customer had bought the weapon and loaded it in the parking lot. It jammed during loading, so he returned to the shop and asked for help. When an employee examined the weapon, it discharged. One employee was struck in the hand, the other received a wound in the abdomen. “It was a pretty scary experience, you know, but it was an accident,” the shop owner said. “The customer feels absolutely terrible about it.” No charges have been filed.

Analysis: Responsible gun owner! When faced with a gun issue, he consulted with experts. Accidents happen. And he felt terrible afterwards. Besides, nobody was killed, praise Jeebus.

Shootin’ Shop shootin’ scene.

it’s the socialism, probably

Posted on March 19, 2015 by greg

Whenever I hear or see the phrase ‘active shooter situation’ in my newsfeed, my first response is always “Oh no, not again.” Then I read as much as possible about what’s going on. My second — and much-delayed — response is to turn to FreeRepublic.com to see what those fine patriots have to say.

It happened again yesterday. The first reports, as always, were vague and confusing. A man was somehow involved in a motel shooting, a carjacking, and a home invasion; one person was dead and at least half a dozen others were wounded. So, to FreeRepublic:

“Democrat. My guess.” IllumiNaughtyByNature

“He must not be white, or they’d say he’s white.” CivilWarBrewing

“It’s all over Europe and Africa, and coming here. AZ just had a killing. And we have King Obama for the turmoil in all over. This insane child has messed up most of the world. And growing.” Logical Me.

“Hands up! Don’t shoot! I can’t breathe!” FlingWingFlyer

“They don’t have a code word for an older minority criminal so they just don’t say anything. So everyone be on the lookout for a MAN, with a TATTOO. That is all.” RightOnTheBorder

“Religion of peace?” Clint N. Suhks

“Hispanics are called “white” when it’s politically convenient.” Cicero

“Seemingly random shootings that are unconnected? Hmm. You have to ask yourself – why would a person do this on random targets (a trade school and several restaurants) that apparently have no connection to him? Answer – politically motivated or ordered shooting to inflict fear into people so that they don’t feel safe anywhere. Why?: to incite fear to make people demand that guns be removed from the populace. Who would profit the most from this? Leftists and the current administration. Someone somewhere will finally come clean and admit that there are teams working for the current administrative but they’re going to have to be smart and go rogue and staight to a trusted news media source they know they can trust and honestly there aren’t many of ‘em….” jsanders2001

“It’s the socialism. The O’Ministration stages one of these ‘bout every month to put something in the headlines to make them [uniformed racists] believe murder by gunshot is about race, guns, or overstep by any current law enforcement official. Anything but a lone-wolf Islamic terrorist, or a criminal intent yet to be discovered through due process, or terminated via suicide. The truth binds patriotic armed Americans together. Stay unified against division is my only message.” LurkedLongEnough

The shooting was President Obama’s fault, of course. Either because he created a social environment in which minorities feel free to run amok and are secure in the knowledge that nothing will happen as a result, or because the president has ‘teams’ engaged in acts of conspiratorial violence in order to something something TAKE ALL THE GUNS!!! And the shooter must be a minority or at least a Democrat, and probably a Muslim.

And then the shooter was captured. Shortly afterward, his prison mugshot was circulated.

Ryan Giroux

Probably not a Democrat. Probably not a Muslim or a minority. Probably not part of a secret government team. So the conversation on FreeRepublic shifted. Suddenly they were concerned about the shooter’s clothing. And the failure of the prison system. And the biases of the news media.

““TV cameras captured the man being led in handcuffs wearing a white hazmat suit” I wonder what that’s about? Didn’t they just used to wrap suspects in blankets? Maybe he has ebola.” ilovesarah2012

“I wonder what that’s about? To secure all possible evidence on their person. Blood, hair, gun shot residue, etc..” dragnet2

“Quick! Someone in the media blame Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, the NRA, George Bush, Bible ‘clingers’, or the history of American oppression!” SSS Two

“I see prison has left it’s marks on him and he was obviously fully rehabilitated when released from prison. At some point, will we actually have a discussion in this country on how to make prison into a place where criminals are punished and taught that ‘you never want to come back here again’?” kingu

A few FreeRepublic folks acknowledged Ryan Giroux was a skinhead. One even noted that his tattoos were based on a racist ideology. But nobody even bothered to mention the fact that this guy — who’d served two prison terms and at least one stint in jail for crimes including burglary, theft, attempted aggravated assault and possession of drugs — was able to get a firearm. Nobody mentioned that Arizona has some of the least restrictive gun laws in the nation.

Sure, if Ryan Giroux wanted to buy a firearm from a licensed gun dealer, he’d have to fill out ATF Form 4473. And sure, if he’d filled out the form honestly, the gun dealer would be prohibited from selling him a firearm. But what if Mr. Giroux wasn’t entirely honest and ethical? What if he was willing to lie on that federal form — even though it states right on the form that giving false answers is a crime? What then? Well, since there’s no waiting period for purchasing a firearm in Arizona, Mr. Giroux would likely be able to walk out of that gun shop with a firearm.

But of course, Giroux wouldn’t have to buy his firearm from a licensed dealer. It would be a lot easier and simpler to buy a gun at a gun show, where he wouldn’t have to fill out any form at all. Or buy it from a private owner selling his guns through a newspaper advertisement. You don’t have to go through a licensed dealer in the United States. The Holy Second Amendment, you know, clearly states

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of racist lunatic skinhead ex-convicts to keep and bear all fucking manner of arms shall not be infringed, so eat it bitches.

Thanks, King Obama.

that’s not a threat — that’s just regulating

Posted on February 6, 2015 by greg

You may not be familiar with Tarrant County, Texas. It’s named for Edward H. Tarrant, who made his bones in the 1830s and 40s killing the natives who objected to white folks implementing their perfectly reasonable desire to turn traditional Indian hunting grounds into massive cattle ranches.

Second Amendment remedies — Texas, 1830s

Tarrant and his buddies openly carried firearms everywhere because how else were they supposed to protect all those white folks from the depredations of non-white savages. That fine tradition lives on today in the form of a group calling itself Tarrant County Open Carry. This is a collection of truly extraordinary fuckwits who apparently interpret a well-regulated militia to mean ‘any jackass who wants a firearm.’ As in:

Any jackass who wants a firearm, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

The ‘open carry’ movement believes American citizens have a constitutional right to openly tote firearms and other weapons wherever they go, whenever they want to go there. Because NOT carrying a firearm everywhere all the time is bascially the same as pissing in Uncle Sam’s hat. Because failure to have a ballistic weapon on your person at all times means you won’t be prepared when Communists and Muslims and ~~Lesbians~~ Gay menfolks (not lesbians, because TCOC likes to watch a bit of girl-on-girl video) attack you. Or your family. Or somebody else.

The Black Panther Party on the steps of the California legislature

Open Carry Black Panthers

That’s the theory. In practice, of course, it doesn’t apply to black folks. Or Muslims. Because those folks, they’re not real Americans.

Any jackass who wants a firearm, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed if you’re white. Oh, and Christian.

I’ve occasionally mentioned these fucking idjits before — how they thought the NRA was too liberal, how the NRA caved in to the open carry nutjobs, how they’re totally against intimidating women, how armed asshattery is qualitatively different from unarmed asshattery, how it can be difficult to distinguish between an open carry advocates and wanna-be mass murderers, how in some municipalities it’s legal to openly carry a real firearm but illegal to carry a pretend weapon, and about how open carry jerk-offs are unable to distinguish between tyranny and criticism.

Responsible open carry advocate

Okay, maybe I’ve written about these guys more than occasionally. You know why? Because they’re stupid and belligerent and armed, and that’s not a healthy combination. Witness this guy, Kory Watkins — the bull goose loony of Open Carry Tarrant County.

I know, to the average person it sounds a wee bit like Watkins is issuing a threat here. You know, that bit where he says:

“Going against the Constitution is treason. And my friend, that is punishable by death.”

So this is a guy who is so afraid of the world that he has to tote a firearm with him everywhere he goes. And he says it’s treason NOT to pass a law that permits everybody to openly carry firearms everywhere they go. And he says treason is punishable by death. So you wouldn’t be stepping out on a limb if you thought Watkins’ comment might maybe could be construed as something akin to a threat. Especially considering the fact that not too long ago one member of OCTC, Veronica Dunnachie, shot her husband to death. Oh, and his daughter too. Because hell, once you’ve shot one person there’s not much to stop you from shooting another.

This, of course, was BEFORE she shot her husband and his daughter to death.

But that was probably hormonal or something. I mean, she’s a woman, right? They’re emotional and all. You can’t judge an entire group of folks because some of them commit double homicides. Unless they’re black. Or Muslim.

Any jackass who wants a firearm, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed if you’re white. Oh, and Christian. And probably male, just to be safe.

Anyway, Watkins assures us he wasn’t making any sort of threat to those treasonous bastards in the government who are denying decent Texans their Sacred Second Amendment rights. Good gracious, no. Because TCOC, you see, is “a group of peaceful, law-abiding gun owners” who are only trying to educate Americans about their rights under the U.S. Constitution (see above). They’re totally opposed to violence. Totally. In fact. that’s why they carry firearms everywhere they go. You know, to prevent all that violence.

Just like Edward H. Tarrant did back in the 1830s.

a tragedy

Posted on January 1, 2015 by greg

Okay, yeah…it’s a tragedy. The two-year-old who accidentally shot and killed his momma in a Hayden, Idaho Walmart. The toddler who managed to find his momma’s handgun in her specially-designed-to-carry-a-handgun purse, then squeeze off a single round that hit his momma in the head. It’s a complete, horrific, total tragedy.

It’s a tragedy that poor kid will have to relive over and over. As he grows up he’ll want to know how his momma died. As he gets to know new people — at school, at college, at work — they’ll ask about his family. He’ll have to tell — or think about telling — the story of how he accidentally and inadvertently killed his own momma thousands of times. It’s unspeakably tragic.

And not at all surprising. This shit happens all the time, kids accidentally shooting people. Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, friends, strangers, pets. It happens all the damned time, all across These United States. It happens for obvious reasons.

It happens because kids are curious. They play with things. They want to handle new things. It’s what kids are supposed to do. They see things, they pick them up, they explore them. Toys, guns, fruit, dog turds, cell phones, staplers, doesn’t matter — kids will pick them up and mess around with them.

It happens because kids learn really early about how to hold and shoot a handgun. They may not understand exactly what a handgun does, but by the time they’re toddlers they’ve seen tens of thousands of images on television and in movies of people holding guns. Kids learn by imitation. Of course they’re going to play with a gun if they find it.

It happens because that’s what guns are designed to do. Kill things. Firearms really are an incredibly efficient technology. Masterpieces of design. Their only function — and let me repeat that; their only function — is to explosively propel a missile at high speed toward a target.

Unbeatable prices! Save money! Live better!

It happens all the goddamned time at big box stores like Walmart because big box stores are essentially fixed point attractors. People congregate there. It happened in Columbus, Indiana; it happened in Phoenix, Arizona; it happened in Antioch, Callifornia; it happened in Jasper, Indiana. Hell, there’s a website devoted to nothing but shootings at Walmart.

It happens because here in These United States we have a gun fetish problem. We have a culture that romanticizes firearms, and celebrates the people who use them. We have a culture that places a higher priority on firearm ownership than on health and safety. We’ve created a culture of fear and suspicion that’s so pervasive, some folks actually believe it’s necessary to be armed to visit Walmart.

Happy Walmart customers

So yeah, it’s tragic that a two-year-old boy accidentally shot his momma in the head while they were shopping at Walmart. But that shit happens all the time. And nothing will change because of it. And that, of course, is the deeper tragedy.

Editorial note: You can buy a large assortment of firearms and ammunition at Walmart; their prices are unbeatable.

priorities and choices

Posted on October 27, 2014 by greg

This guy. Seriously, this guy. His name is Jason Chaffetz. He’s a Republican from Utah. It’s because of this guy — and others like him — that the United States sometimes behaves like a drunk with Alzheimer’s.

Jason Chaffetz (Republican, Utah)

At the end of last week Chaffetz appeared on a FOXNews show, where he complained about the Obama administration’s response to the non-existent Ebola crisis in the U.S. He was, of course, outraged — which is the default for Republican members of Congress.

“Why not have the Surgeon General head this up? I think that’s a very legitimate question. At least you have somebody who has a medical background who’s been confirmed by the United States Senate.”

The answer, of course, is because we don’t have a Surgeon General. So a better (or at least a more intelligent) question would be Why don’t we have a Surgeon General? The answer to that is because Republicans in the Senate have blocked President Obama’s nominee, Dr. Vivek Murthy. Why have they blocked his nomination? Because Dr. Murthy has stated publicly that he believes easy access to firearms in the United States poses a threat to the nation’s public health. (Speaking of firearms as a threat to public health, we just had the 87th school shooting since the massacre of innocents at Newtown almost two years ago — three dead, at last count, including the shooter.)

Not a public health issue

It’s bad enough that Chaffetz wasn’t aware that we haven’t had a Surgeon General since July of last year. What’s worse is that we have a political party that believes one Ebola death in the U.S. constitutes a public health crisis, but more than 30,000 firearm-related deaths every year doesn’t. Ladies and germs, that’s your modern Republican party.

So who is this Chaffetz, anyway? He got his start as a spokesman for Nu Skin Enterprises. Nu Skin describes itself as a ‘multilevel marketing company’ which produces and sells ‘personal care products’ and ‘dietary supplements.’ According to the Attorneys General of Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Florida, Illinois, Ohio, and Michigan, as well as the U.S. Federal Trade Commission (and, most recently, the government of China), Nu Skin is probably a pyramid scheme that scams people into selling its products, which don’t do what Nu Skin claims they do.

Chaffetz apparently decided to get into politics after meeting former President Ronald Reagan, who was visiting Nu Skin as a ‘motivational speaker.’ As a Congressman, he’s best known for two things. First, opposing the right of employees of the Transportation Security Agency to engage in collective bargaining (and subsequently accusing the TSA screeners at the Salt Lake City airport of requiring him to submit to a full body scan because of his opposition). Second, accusing the Obama administration of deliberately failing to protect American personnel in Benghazi while acknowledging he’d voted to cut the funding for embassy security (“Look, we have to make priorities and choices in this country”). Again, this is your modern Republican party.

“We have to make priorities and choices.” — Jason Chaffetz

So, just to be clear, we have a Congressman who began his career defending a pyramid scheme, who claims to have been singled out for retaliation by TSA employees because he tried to prevent them from joining a union, who blames the current administration for not providing enough embassy security in a volatile region after he’d voted to reduce funding for embassy security, and who faults the administration for failing to put a Surgeon General who doesn’t exist in charge of dealing with an imaginary public health crisis, while ignoring a very real public health crisis that kills more than thirty thousand citizens every year.

It’s all about priorities and choices. By the way, Congressman Chaffetz has a line of skin care products he’s sure you’d be interested in.

you can’t make an omelet without…

Posted on August 27, 2014 by greg

Years ago, when I was a working P.I., I had a client who was wanted on a drug charge. When the police went to pick him up, he barricaded himself in his house and told the officers he was armed with a fully automatic Ingram MAC-10. The police wisely backed off and implemented a Full Gary Oldman. “Bring me everyone.”

Almost the entire local police force arrived, surrounded the house, evacuated the neighbors, and waited patiently for my client to decide what he was going to do next. What he did next was fire off a few rounds on semi-auto, after which he realized he’d totally fucked himself and he surrendered.

There wasn’t any real investigating to do in the case; the guy was blatantly guilty. But a good defense lawyer will grasp at almost any straw, even if it’s only useful in sentencing. So I was sent to test the weapon and determine if it was completely operational. In other words, to see if actually was fully automatic. Which meant I’d get to shoot it.

I did, and it was. It was the ugliest gun I’ve ever seen — just a foot-long slab of black metal, with a strap attached near the barrel. The strap was necessary to keep the barrel down while firing; otherwise the recoil would force the barrel up and you’d be shooting sky. The police allowed me to fire off two 30 round magazines — which maybe took a total of five or six seconds. The stubby little bastard could fire just over a thousand rounds a minute. That’s 1000 9mm bullets in 60 seconds. Do the math. Even holding the strap, I found it difficult to control the barrel.

Why am I telling you this? Because on Monday a shooting instructor at an Arizona firing range allowed a nine-year-old girl to fire a similar weapon — and Uzi — on full auto.

Let me repeat that. A shooting instructor — a military veteran with lots of experience with firearms — having watched a nine-year-old girl fire one 9mm round on semi-auto, decided to allow her to fire the weapon on full auto. She lost control of the weapon. The instructor took a round to the head. Killed him.

Nine. The girl is nine years old. Her parents, of course, were recording it with their phone. (The video, released by the Mohave County Sheriff’s Office, stops before the instructor is shot.)

Just an accident. No charges will be filed. These things happen. Sure, a few lives were destroyed. The shooting instructor. His family. The poor girl. Her family. But hey, what can you do? Nobody to blame, nobody is at fault. Second Amendment, and all that. Nothing left to say, really.

What a stupid fucking country this is.

open carry relationship

Posted on June 12, 2014 by greg

It’s time — time for me to admit the truth. I’ve avoided talking about this for years, but now it’s out in the open. My parents have come out of the closet. So I might as well accept it and get on with my life.

My parents have an open carry relationship.

They hid it from me at first. I suppose they were ashamed. Maybe they even denied it to themselves. To each other. But you can’t deny who you are forever. You can’t deny the things you love most. And my parents…well, they love the Second Amendment. And guns.

They used to hide their love. They hid their guns, denied their Constitutional rights, tried to be ‘normal.’ But it was just too hard. Too unfair. Too dishonest. So they decided to come out of the gun closet — just to family and friends, at first. They began to wear their guns around the house.

It was embarrassing at first. But it made them happy, so I smiled and tried to be understanding. I figured that so long as they didn’t touch their triggers in front of me, it would be okay. They’re my parents, after all. You have to love your parents, don’t you?

But it wasn’t enough for them to wear their guns in the privacy of our home. They decided to flaunt their gun-love openly. In public. On the streets and at the library and in stores and even — and it shames me to say this, but I have to because it’s true — they even wore their guns to church.

Everybody saw them. The neighbors. My friends. Children. My god, the children.

And still, that wasn’t enough. They made a video celebrating their firearm love.

They say there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s natural, they say. They didn’t choose to love the Second Amendment. They didn’t choose to love guns. They were born that way.

They say they understand some people will be offended by their behavior. Some people will hate them. Some will even be afraid. But, they say, it’s just for self-defense. They’d never force anybody else to wear guns.

But then they wrote the book. A book for children. That’s when I realized the truth. They were recruiting children. They want children to grow up and be gun lovers too. They want their lifestyle to become mainstream.

My parents, I know now, are completely insane. Maybe they really were born that way. Or maybe when they were innocent children somebody exposed them to guns, and it warped their personalities. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. They are who they are. I’ve asked them to get help, to talk to a therapist — but they won’t listen.

These are my parents. They’re in an open carry relationship. I’m afraid their love for guns will continue to grow. I’m afraid of what might happen to them, afraid of what they might do to others. And there’s nothing I can do to stop them.

gregfallis.com

it's this or get a real job

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