craziest goddamn moment in U.S. history

Okay, a quick heads up. I’m going to write a really long sentence. Really long. The kind of sentence writing instructors warn students never to write because readers will either lose interest in the subject and decide to go see what’s on television, or get massively confused halfway through and have to start again at the beginning. It’s going to be longer than the sentence you just read. It’s a long sentence because the craziest goddamn moment in U.S. history demands long sentences. So you’ve been warned.

Yesterday, at the same time Congress was holding the first public impeachment hearing to determine if Comrade Donald J. Trump is fit to continue to occupy the office of the President of the United States, Trump was meeting with Turkish President Recep Erdoğan, who last month launched a military offensive that bore all the hallmarks of an ethnic cleansing campaign against the Kurdish forces who had been the chief ally in the U.S. fight against ISIS for years until they were suddenly, unexpectedly betrayed by Trump’s inexplicable decision — which came immediately after a late-night phone call with the president of Turkey — to remove U.S. military forces from the Kurdish-controlled territory in Syria.

This was an extraordinary conjunction of events, even by the loopy standards of the Trumpverse. As I said earlier, it’s the craziest goddamn moment in U.S. history. While two patriotic career civil servants (one of whom is actually a deputy assistant secretary of state specializing in anti-corruption efforts) were testifying under oath that Trump had betrayed his oath of office by engaging in corrupt activity, Trump was publicly celebrating a different corrupt betrayal — and doing it with the corrupt dictator who directly benefited from the betrayal. Not only that, Trump openly confessed to a war crime. Although he’d claimed he pulled U.S. forces out of Syria to bring them home, yesterday he said this:

“We are keeping the oil. We have the oil. The oil is secure. We left troops behind only for the oil.”

This is a clear violation of Article 33 of the Geneva Conventions, which categorically states pillaging (taking something of value from a location seized in a time of war) is prohibited. It’s also perfectly on-brand for Trump, who argues that corruption committed in the open doesn’t count.

This is the craziest goddamn moment in U.S. history. Democrats and civil servants are systematically and methodically demonstrating the corrupt practices of the Trump administration while Republicans are spouting insane conspiracy theories and mocking Congressional witnesses for drinking water (I am NOT making this up) and POTUS is calling himself a ‘big fan’ of a foreign dictator who a few weeks ago had openly insulted him by saying he’d thrown Trump’s threatening letter in the trash. What the actual fuck is happening here?

How can all this crazy shit be happening at the same time? It almost makes you want to believe in astrology, because it would be nice if we could explain it all away by pointing to some lunatic arrangement of planets. That would actually make it less crazy; that’s how goddamn crazy this moment is.

And don’t even think about pulling me aside and whispering, “Forget it, Jake…it’s Chinatown” because it’s NOT CHINATOWN. This is NOT a Chinatown situation. Sure, Kurdistan is as dead as Hollis Mulwray, and Trump is treating the Constitution the way Noah Cross treated his daughter, but this isn’t policing in Los Angeles in the 1930s. It’s actually possible for us to know whether our foreign interventions are helping victims or exploiting them.

Okay. Okay, I got a tad carried away and veered off into a tangent that probably won’t even make sense to folks who’ve seen the movie. Sorry. That’s what living in the craziest goddamn moment in U.S. history will do to you.

There’s another public hearing schedule for tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be less crazy. Or maybe Comrade Trump will hold a press conference with Ming the Merciless. I’m not going to rule it out.

Somewhat Related Editorial Note: If you haven’t seen Chinatown, WTF is wrong with you? Go watch it. It’s brilliant. Cynical, yeah, but one of the best films ever made, even if it was made by Roman Polanski — and there’s a tangent I’m going to avoid while I still retain some semblance of self-control.

buy me some peanuts & impeach the motherfucker already

Comrade Trump doesn’t really like ordinary people. He likes to keep his distance from them. He only eats in the White House or at one of his own hotels, and with guests he invites. He only plays golf on his own golf courses, also with guests he invites. The only crowds he encounters are those at his rallies, where he knows he’ll get cheers and unconditional support. As much as possible, Trump avoids coming into contact with people who haven’t been carefully selected and approved in advance.

Until last night.

Last night he attended game five of the World Series. He’d spent most of the day being celebrated and celebrating himself for having given the order for a Delta Force team to kill or capture Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS. Clearly, he expected that celebration to continue at the ballpark.

It didn’t.

Some fans displayed a large banner reading “Impeach Trump”. A group of veterans behind home plate held up signs stating “Veterans for Impeachment.” When the park introduced some members of the military, the crowd began to cheer — but when the introduction included Comrade Trump, the cheering immediately turned to boos. Loud boos, measured at around 100 decibels. That’s just slightly less loud than a chainsaw. And if that wasn’t enough, a large segment of the crowd began chanting “Lock him up! Lock him up!”

Watching Trump’s face change at the moment he realizes he’s being booed was almost painful. I’d have felt sorry for him if he wasn’t such an awful person who’s done so many awful things to so many people.

The moment Comrade Trump realizes the cheers for the troops had turned to boos for him.

A lot of conservatives and pundits DID feel sorry for him. They chided the fans who booed, and chastised the people who applauded the booing. Joe Scarborough, who as much as any pundit is responsible for normalizing Trump’s pre-election behavior, tweeted the following:

This demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of what happened. When crowds at a Trump rally chanted “Lock her up!” that was an orchestrated chant advocating the imprisonment of a political opponent. When fans at the World Series chanted “Lock him up!” that was a spontaneous reaction from ordinary people defying a lawless president and wanting him to be held accountable for his crimes.

The people upset by the chants and boos at the ballpark seem to believe Comrade Trump needs to be enclosed in a safe, dissent-free bubble at all times. Worse, those people seem to believe he actually deserves that.

Those people are frightfully fucked up. But they are a perfect example of a serious socio-political problem. Right now we have a president, backed by a political party, who maintain the president should not — and, in fact, cannot — be held accountable for any of his actions while he holds office. And we have an opposition — a resistance — who the president and his party believe should be constrained by tradition, by courtesy, and by law from even attempting to hold him accountable. That’s a wild-ass asymmetrical use of power.

But here’s the thing: there’s more of us than there are of them. Comrade Trump made the mistake of showing his face in public. He almost certainly won’t do that again. But everybody saw what happened when he did. And nobody is going to forget it. That includes Republicans in the Senate.

A few days ago I wrote that it’s possible — not probable, but possible — that the Senate might actually vote to convict Trump after he’s been impeached by the House. What happened last night, on what should have been Comrade Trump’s biggest and best day of his presidency, is going to lurk in the minds of those senators like Freddie fucking Krueger on meth.

And they should be afraid.

senate might do the right thing maybe

An interesting thing happened in the Senate recently. Senator Lindsay Graham, who has the moral courage of a blancmange, said he would ask the Senate for a resolution condemning the House impeachment inquiry. That wasn’t the interesting thing, of course. Since the death of his friend John McCain, Graham has morphed into Comrade Trump’s attack poodle — alternately snarling at Trump’s critics and wagging his tail in the hope that Trump will give him a treat.

The interesting thing is what happened after Graham made that announcement. He didn’t get universal Republican support. Let me just say that one more time; Graham DID NOT get total support from Senate Republicans for a resolution condemning the impeachment inquiry by the House of Representatives. A month ago, that wouldn’t have happened.

So Graham sort of tempered the resolution. Instead of a savage condemnation of the impeachment itself, Graham presented a request for a more transparent process. And even that watered down version failed to get total support from his Republican colleagues. Only 44 of them signed on.

Lindsey Graham, Republican Attack Poodle, South Carolina.

Granted, that means only nine Republicans refused to go along with the weakened version of Graham’s resolution — but hey, that’s how erosion works. And remember, he offered this resolution AFTER Trump called on Republicans to get tougher against the impeachment process, and AFTER the Republicans in the House staged their Charge of the Lightweight Brigade into the SCIF for pizza. Despite those stunts, nine Senate Republicans still couldn’t bring themselves to support a weak resolution against the impeachment process.

And remember this: we haven’t yet had any public testimony from the most damaging witnesses against Trump.

At this point, it’s almost a certainty that the House will vote to ITMFA. We’ve always assumed Senate Republicans would refuse to vote to convict if Comrade Trump was impeached. That’s still the safe bet. But Graham’s resolution shows some weakening in his support. The thing is, we can be fairly confident that few, if any, of them support Trump because they like him. Or trust him. Or believe in his ability to lead the nation. They support him out of fear and their own self-interest. They know Trump is bleeding support from every sector except evangelical Christians. They also know the only way Trump can win re-election is through a combination of foreign interference, voter suppression, and gerrymandered precincts. They’ve got to be asking themselves if that’ll be enough to save them. Or if they’d be better off to drown him before the election drags them down with him.

Nobody really likes or trusts this loudmouth asshole.

So it’s possible…it’s actually within the realm of possibility…that a combination of public testimony, a corresponding shift in public sentiment, Trump’s own continued erratic and destructive behavior, along with a politician’s cockroach-like sense of self-preservation MIGHT be sufficient to sway enough of those hateful Nazgûl motherfuckers to vote to convict him and remove him from office.

It would be a LOT better if we could count on Senate Republicans to simply do what’s best for the country, but c’mon…that ain’t gonna happen. But maybe we can hope they’ll manage to do the right thing even if it’s for the wrong reasons.

where the crazy lives

It’s been a crazy week in a crazy month transitioning from a crazy summer into what promises to be a really crazy autumn. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “I say, old sock, just how crazy is it?” Ima tell you, but first — stop calling me old sock.

Right. How crazy? I went to one of the most reliably crazy conservative sites ever to be squirted out of a goose’s ass: FreeRepublc. Here are (and I swear, I am NOT making any of this up) some of the headlines and typical Freeper responses from this morning.

Fat black professor of gender studies blames Trump for black female obesity

It’s a link to an article in The American Thinker mocking Brittney Cooper (they misspell her nam), an associate professor in the Department of Women’s and Gender Studies at Rutgers. The article suggests Dr. Cooper promotes “the theory that white people in general and President Trump in particular are what make a disproportionate number of black women obese.”

Here’s a typical response from the Freep community: Ghettopotamus was skinny befo’ Trump. — MrEdd

Five Truths Most Americans Are Afraid to Say

It’s a link to an article from Townhall, another lunatic conservative site. The five truths are 1) God matters, 2) Absolute truth matters, 3) Strong marriages and families matter, 4) the Bible matters, and 5) the church matters. The article can be boiled down to this line: “We need to return to the true foundation of America—the Bible.”

Typical response: [T]here is another truth that is even tougher to say- diversity is weakness. It will ultimately lead to dissolution. Diversity is a synonym for disunion. — freedomjusticeruleoflaw

Does everyone believe Hillary is crazy now?

Another link to another Townhall article about the Clinton/Gabbard fuss.

Typical response: She’s just setting up any necessary narratives for when she gets her ass kicked next November. She will be the dem nominee. No woman will be given a shot at the Presidency while she’s still breathing. — nesnah

Trump Didn’t Sell Out the Kurds by Pulling Out of Syria

A link to an opinion piece in the NY Post, which claims Comrade Trump didn’t betray the Kurds because US troops “…were not in northern Syria to defend a Kurdish government but to fight ISIS. The fight to smash the ISIS caliphate is over.” And besides, “None of [the national media] truly care about the Kurds. Otherwise, they would have been sending correspondents and camera crews to Rojava on a regular basis.”

Typical response: If I were suddenly changed into God for one minute and given a magic button I could press to designate anyone in the world, including myself, to be President in 2016 and 2020, it would be OUR PRESIDENT TRUMP. — libtripper

Pelosi, other US lawmakers arrive in Jordan for meetings on Syria

A link to a FOX News article about the congressional delegation (led by Speaker Nancy Pelosi) in Jordan for meetings with King Abdullah II and other officials regarding the situation in Syria.

Typical responses: I hope that they find some IEDs. — Howie66
MUSLIME COLLUSION!!!!!!!!! — rawcatslyentist
Divert her plane to Gitmo on way home. — 5by5

Chick-fil-A Outlet to Close in LGBT Rights Row [UK]

A link to a BBC article about the closing of Chick-fil-A franchise in the Oracle Shopping Centre in Reading after the public boycotted it.

Typical response: Scrooge Oracle and the camel humpers it rode in on. They are certainly unworthy to host a CFA outlet. — tflabo

Mulvaney insists no quid pro quo with Ukraine after WH comments: ‘I didn’t say that’

A link to a FOX News article which states, “Mulvaney seemed to indicate that the two [withholding US$391 million of military aid and the ‘favor’ of investigating Biden] were connected, but now he claims it was a misunderstanding.”

Typical responses: The administration needs to stop ALL press briefings and exchanges with the demonic reporters. — TexasGurl24
The communists Democrats have current control over the Republicans and twisted Mulvaneys words and meaning. The communists Democrats, all of them, will be hitting Trump hard for the next year and half. Trump is in trouble but still he will a second term. The hard hitting communists Democrats will continue the hit for Trumps entire tenure. — Logical me

And my favorite response to the Mulvaney press conference article: If want a shock look up a press conference from the Obongo Admin. The respect and reverence shown is nauseating. No gothcha questions, no aggressive follow ups. — gibsonguy

In which the plucky patriots of FreeRepublic stand up to the oppression of the Free Press.

It doesn’t occur to gibsonguy that the reason the news media showed a certain amount of respect to President…uh…Obongo is because he treated the media with respect and didn’t lie to them. This is really the essence of the conspiratorial worldview of FreeRepublic. They’re aware the world is changing, that they’re losing their privilege, that the values and traditions on which they’ve based their lives are fading. And they’re terrified and angry about it. They’re also convinced that the reason their superiority isn’t respected anymore can’t be that they’re wrong or outmoded. So it must be because of a shadowy global cadre of hostile, alien, unAmerican monsters are arrayed against them.

And hey, they’ve seen this movie before. A plucky band of right-thinking heroes always wins against the godless heathen monsters.

wetting the beak

It’s like this. Remember when young Vito Corleone is driving his delivery truck down the street in Little Italy, just trying to make semi-honest living, and suddenly Don Fanucci of the Black Hand swings aboard? And Vito looks at him like “Dude, what the actual fuck are you doing, swinging aboard my goddamn truck? I’m working here.”

Newbie gangster can’t even drive a damn truck without some Black Hand mobster in a white suit slotting in and giving him a ration of shit.

Then Don Fanucci explains. He says:

“Young man, I hear you and your friends are stealing goods. But you don’t even send a dress to my house. No respect! You know I’ve got three daughters. This is my neighborhood. You and your friends should show me some respect. You should let me wet my beak a little… Tell your friends I don’t want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak.”

That’s basically what Comrade Trump did during his phone call with the newly-elected president of Ukraine. But he wasn’t looking for dresses for Ivanka. He was looking for dirt on Joe Biden. And, like Don Fanucci, he didn’t care how President Zelensky came by the dirt — or even if the dirt was true. He just wanted the dirt. According to the ‘transcript’ the White House released to the public, Trump says:

“I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot… I would like you to find out what happened with this whole situation with Ukraine… I guess you have one of your wealthy people… The server, they say Ukraine has it. There are a lot of things that went on, the whole situation… I would like to have the Attorney General call you or your people and I would like you to get to the bottom of it.”

If anything, Comrade Trump was nastier than Don Fanucci. Imagine if Fanucci had said, “Vito, paisan, you got a new baby, you got a nice apartment with a toilet you don’t have to share with neighbors. You want to keep those things, you should wet my beak, capiche?” That’s basically what Trump said in his chat with Zelensky.

Zelensky needed some Javelin missiles — these are portable fire-and-forget anti-tank missiles — to keep the Russian Army from seizing more Ukrainian territory. Trump basically told him, “Look, you guys got Russians at your gate. You need missiles. I got missiles. You can have those missiles. I’d love to give you those missiles. But first you got to wet my beak.”

Comrade Trump is not your daddy’s mafia don. He’s a cheap imitation, made in China, shoddy construction.

But here’s the thing. In the old mafia movies, they play up the concept of omertà. The Sicilian Mafia code of silence. You don’t rat. Ever. You get caught, you stay quiet. It’s a matter of honor, of discipline, of loyalty. You don’t rat.

Comrade Trump is no mafia don. He has no honor, he has no discipline, he doesn’t inspire loyalty. The Trump administration is comprised entirely of rats-in-waiting. His people aren’t soldati. They’re not made men. They’re sycophants. They’ll turn on Trump in a New York minute to save their own asses.

And like Don Fanucci, Trump will eventually get what’s coming to him. Okay, I admit the analogy breaks down here. Nobody is going to drop Trump the way Vito did Fanucci, and nobody would really want that. But right now the House Judiciary Committee is wrapping a metaphorical towel around a metaphorical revolver and is waiting for a metaphorical Feast of Saint Rocco.

curious things

Here’s a curious thing. Comrade Trump fired (by tweet, of course) Dan Coats, the Director of National Security, three days after Trump made his disastrous telephone call to newly-elected Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. You know, the call in which Trump leaned on Zelensky to reopen a closed investigation into Joe Biden’s son. The call that’s sparked the current impeachment crisis.

Coats didn’t have much relevant experience in intelligence when Trump selected him to be the DNI, but he was a decent, mostly thoughtful, establishment Republican. He wasn’t a Trump loyalist, though, so he was often in conflict with the president. He was the last member of the Trump administration to publicly disagree with the president. Clearly, he had to go. Although the timing is a tad suspicious.

Former Director of National Intelligence, Dan Coats

Here’s another curious thing. The law clearly stated that in case of a vacancy at the DNI position, the Principle Deputy Director of National Intelligence would assume the role of acting DNI until the Senate could confirm a new DNI. This was because lawmakers felt it was critical for the president to have continuity in regard to national intelligence, as well as reasoned, experienced, expert advice. But the PDDNI was Susan Gordon.

Susan Gordon was a career intelligence officer — a true intelligence professional. She’d risen through the ranks from a CIA analyst to become the CIA’s Director of the Office of Advanced Analytic Tools (the cyber nerds), then the Deputy Director of the CIA, then Deputy Director of the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, before taking the second seat as Deputy Director of National Intelligence. She wasn’t just the legal option for acting DNI, she was the best choice to become the permanent DNI.

Former Principle Deputy Director of National Intelligence, Susan Gordon

But the Trump team felt Susan Gordon wasn’t “sufficiently loyal” to Trump. They let it be known there was no place in the Trump administration for her. So she did the decent thing; she resigned on the same day as Director Coats. Three days after Trump’s call to Zelensky. Gordon wrote one of the shortest and most honest resignation letters ever.

Mr. President — I offer this letter as an act of respect & patriotism, not preference. You should have your team. Godspeed, Sue.

Who did Comrade Trump want to replace Coats and Gordon? Trump loyalist and Texas Republican John Ratcliffe, a two-term Congressman. Ratcliffe was best known for (and I swear I’m not making this up) 1) asserting the existence of a “secret society” within the Obama Department of Justice and the FBI devoted to preventing Comrade Trump from being elected and 2) claiming the Mueller Report was written by “Hillary Clinton’s de facto legal team.” In other words, Ratcliffe is a classic Republican from Texas fuckwit.

Current Nitwit and Conspiracy Theorist, John Ratcliffe (getting some serious side-eye from fellow Texas Republican Will Hurd)

Not surprisingly, Ratcliffe was so unqualified even Senate Republicans couldn’t support him. Five days after nominating him, Trump pulled the nomination.

The fact is, Comrade Trump doesn’t want intelligence experts. In fact, he doesn’t want any experts around him at all. He wants to be the expert. He wants others to defer to him and his judgment. He wants others to recognize his genius. Having people around him who are knowledgeable, who have expertise, makes him uncomfortable; they might correct him. And to a narcissist like Trump, that would be intolerable. That’s why the Department of National Intelligence lost both its director and deputy director on the same day. Three days after Trump made his call to Ukraine President Zelensky.

And that leads us to yet another curious thing. If you read the whistleblower’s complaint, it reads like it was written by an intelligence analyst. Or at least somebody familiar with intelligence memoranda. The format, the detail, the underlying evidence, the footnotes that support the narrative — it’s exactly how an analyst prepares a memorandum. Can we think of anybody with experience as an analyst, or who is familiar with such reports? Somebody who is a patriot and a professional, maybe even a career intelligence officer? Somebody who might be willing to be a whistleblower in order to throw light on a shady subject?

I’m just thinking out loud here.

EDITORIAL NOTE: I’m not saying either Coats or Gordon is the whistleblower. I’m just saying…you know…you never know. Is what I’m saying.

okay, impeachment then

Okay, impeachment then.

I’ve been advocating this step for quite some time, but I’m NOT happy about it. Well, that’s sort of not true. I’m not happy that the US is in a situation where impeachment is a necessary task. Impeachment is an ugly business, and it’s a shame that we’ve come to that point. But we ARE at that point, so while I’m sad for us as a nation, I’m also happy that enough Democrats have finally agreed that it’s necessary.

A lot of folks who oppose Comrade Trump and his ‘policies’ (and yeah, I put irony quote around the term because Trumps doesn’t really have policies; he has impulses) are really reluctant about impeachment. They keep warning us that impeachment will ‘fire up his base’ and ‘make them even worse’.

EVERYTHING fires up his base. And they’ll ALWAYS find a reason to make things worse. The Trump base exists in a constant state of rage and fear; cruelty is their response to almost every situation. For four years, starting before the election, Trump’s base have been wearing t-shirts that say ‘Fuck your feelings.’ That’s their starting position. We shouldn’t be concerned with ‘firing up’ his base. What are they going to do? Wear t-shirts that say ‘Fuck your feelings MORE’? (Spoiler — yes, it appears that’s exactly what they’ll do.)

I think it’s time to fire up OUR base. The Democratic leadership have spent far too much time making threats without backing them up, far too much time talking about what we’re GOING to do. It’s time we actually DO something. Fuck THEIR feelings.

You tell me the Senate will never vote to convict Trump? Maybe so. Probably. Then we force them to openly and publicly vote to support the most corrupt president in US history. We force them to say on the record, for the judgment of history, that it’s okay for a president to pay off porn stars, to lie to the public, to hide his taxes, to use the Oval Office to enrich himself and his family, to separate immigrant toddlers from their parents, to deliberately harm the environment, to encourage hostile foreign nations to interfere in US elections, to make it harder for citizens to vote. We may not win, but the very least we can do is force his supporters to acknowledge their own corruption. 

The US may yet turn into a fascist nation. It’s entirely possible. But damn it, if that’s going to happen, we need to at least make them work for it.