a new human rights abuse

Oh sweet Jeebus in a pickle barrel, have we not suffered enough at the hands of George W. Bush? Wasn’t it torment enough for us to live through the eight long, grim, disgraceful years of his presidency? Must we endure one more disappointing moment of this wretched, graceless, inadequate creature?

The best thing the former president ever did was leave office and disappear from public view. But now he’s back. He’s back and recklessly inflicting his painting on the blameless public. Just fuck me with a chainsaw and be done with it.

Bush portrait of Russian President Vladimir Putin. No, wait...that's his dog Barney.

Bush portrait of Russian President Vladimir Putin. No, wait…that’s his dog Barney.

It wasn’t enough that W. Bush was the worst president in the history of the United States (which is quite an accomplishment; we’ve had some astonishingly bad presidents). It wasn’t enough that he authorized the pre-emptive invasion of a sovereign nation that was no threat to the U.S. It wasn’t enough that he authorized the illegal detention of more than 1200 people, many of whom were U.S. citizens, following the attacks of 9/11, or that he authorized the repeated torture of people suspected of having information about those attacks. It wasn’t enough that he authorized and signed into law the PATRIOT Act, which permitted indefinite detention of suspects and warrantless wire taps and expanded the power of the State to search through records that had previously required a court order.

No, clearly that wasn’t enough. Now the unprincipled sumbitch has foisted a fresh horror on the world. George W. Bush has become a fucking painter.

Bush portrait of Russian leader Vladimir Putin. No, wait...that's the Dalai Lama.

Bush portrait of Russian leader Vladimir Putin. No, wait…that’s the Dalai Lama.

Bush says he took up painting after reading an essay on Winston Churchill (another unprincipled sumbitch, but one who was at least intelligent and witty). The notion of the least curious human ever to occupy the Oval Office reading an essay on Winston Churchill is only slightly less preposterous than the notion of him painting. If he wanted to emulate Churchill, couldn’t Bush simply have started wearing a Homburg?

But no — the shameless bastard had to pick up a paint brush and perpetrate another outrage against humanity.

Bush portrait of Vladimir Putin. No, wait...that's former South Korean president Lee Myung-bak.

Bush portrait of President Vladimir Putin. No, wait…it’s former South Korean President Lee Myung-bak.

Bush, I’ll admit, is a better painter than he was a president — but that’s not saying much. His painting, in my opinion, is hopelessly amateurish and incompetent. That description also applies to his presidency.

Others disagree — at least in regard to his painting. Art critic Jerry Saltz was quite taken with Bush’s bathroom self-portraits. He said the work was:

‘simple’ and ‘awkward,’ but in wonderful, unself-conscious, intense ways. They show someone doing the best he can with almost no natural gifts — except the desire to do this. The reclusion and seclusiveness of the pictures evoke the quietude (though not the insight, quality, or genius) of certain Chardin still lifes. These are pictures of someone dissembling without knowing it, unprotected and on display, but split between the promptings of his own inner drives and limited by his abilities.

Yeah. Okay. Someone doing the best he can with almost no natural gifts — except the desire to do this. Yeah, that could also describe his presidency.

Bush portrait of Putin in the shower. No, wait...that's Bush his ownself.

Bush portrait of Putin in the shower. No, wait…that’s apparently Bush his ownself.

Painting is hard work, to be sure. It takes a great deal of practice and a certain amount of native talent to be good. Bush, to his credit, is doing the work and practicing (though it’s a shame he wasn’t as diligent at being president). He says it’s changed the way he views the world (again, a shame he didn’t start painting before he became president).

“I see colors differently. I am, I guess, tapping a part of the brain that, you know, certainly never used when I was a teenager.”

Tapping…isn’t that how they get syrup out of the tree? Anyway, insert your own brain joke here.

Bush portrait of...okay, I don't know who the fuck this is supposed to be.

Bush portrait of…okay, I don’t know who the fuck this is supposed to be.

I’ll admit, if I had my way George W. Bush would be painting portraits behind bars. If he’d been the leader of any nation other than the United States, he’d have likely been tried for war crimes.

But that’ll never happen. So I suppose we should be grateful that it’s Bush who took up painting and not Dick Cheney. Who knows what sort of shit taco that fiend would serve up? Probably paintings of gory hunting scenes. Using the blood of slaughtered animals. Or puppies.

an important first step

For years, rich people were specifically targeted — singled out in a blatant attempt to prevent them from giving massive chunks of cash to politicians and policy makers. Poor and middle class folks, of course, have always been able to spend whatever they can afford to influence government policies. Thanks to the recent decision by the Supreme Court of the United States, that glaring inequity has been ended.

It’s a triumph for free speech. Oppressed rich people will no longer be denied their First Amendment right to pay for the campaigns of candidates who are devoted to making rich people more rich. Now rich people can play by the same rules as the poor and middle class.

Free at last, free at last, thank SCOTUS Almight, free at last.

Free at last, free at last, thank SCOTUS Almighty, free at last.

This decision is cause for celebration, as John Boehner, the tangerine-colored Speaker of the House, pointed out to a group of reporters:

“You all have the freedom to write what you want to write, donors ought to have the freedom to give what they want to give. And I’m all for freedom, congratulations.”

That’s right, there’s no meaningful difference between the news media freely reporting the news and rich people giving cash to politicians. It’s the same thing! Freedom!

Rice Penis Reese Prefab The Chairman of the RNC

Rice Penis Reese Prefab The Chairman of the RNC

That sentiment is echoed by the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Rinse Prius Prince Rebus Reince Preibus. He called the SCOTUS decision:

“…an important first step toward restoring the voice of candidates and party committees and a vindication for all those who support robust, transparent political discourse….When free speech is allowed to flourish, our democracy is stronger.”

An important first step. Clearly, more steps are required (preferably steps taken in a pair of soft camel-skin shoes by Stefano Bemer). We still have a long way to go before the rich are able to spend their money exercise their free speech without fear of ridicule or disrespect from jealous poor and middle class people.

Our democracy is stronger now that the rich have been liberated from the shackles placed on their money speech. The dark days when the tyranny of the poor and middle class suppressed the free speech of the rich are almost over.

Rich-American Mitt Romney, who hoped one day to transform the US into the sort of nation where he could bank his own money.

Rich-American Mitt Romney, who hoped one day to transform the US into the sort of nation where he’d be proud to bank his own money.

I will remind you of the words spoken by the great civil rights leader, the Reverend Martin Luther King (or the words he would have spoken if he’d been rich):

When we allow freedom to ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, rich and those other people, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual…’Free at last, free at last, thank SCOTUS Almighty, we’re free at last.’

Ah, freedom. It smells like dew-covered freshly minted silver dollars in the Spring.

impermanence

So there’s me, on the first day of Spring, noodling around the Riverwalk just as if I didn’t have anything else to do. And man, it felt like Spring. Bright and sunny, almost warm, fresh breeze. Bicyclists were out, and young mothers with strollers, and over the lunch hour all the employed people abandoned their offices and escaped the skywalk and hit the sidewalks with all the energy of spawning salmon.

So yeah, even though I had work that needed to be done, I was out walking. And here’s a true thing: you cannot walk along the Riverwalk without stopping occasionally and peeking over the balustrade to watch the river flow by. While I was doing that, I saw a milky white film of some sort, splashed out on the river. Who knows what it was — soap scum maybe, or chemical waste, or something organic roiled up by the snow melt rushing over the dam upstream. Whatever it was, my immediate reaction was disappointment and a mild distaste at the sight of it.

But then it sort of drew me in. It was almost hypnotic, the way the motion of the river shaped and reshaped the stuff, the way the color shifted with each tiny wave.

I must have watched this happen for a quarter of an hour. I can’t say it was pretty, but there was something compelling about it — something unexpectedly absorbing. The river, I knew, would shrug this stuff off, whatever it was. Even in the short time I was there, I could see the stuff gradually being disrupted by the current — broken up, disorganized, reorganized, and all while being forced inevitably downstream. There wasn’t a single moment when the stuff held a coherent shape.

I realized the only constant in this event was me. I was standing still. I wasn’t moving. I was the only fixed point in an otherwise unfixed occurrence.

So I left.

Literally!

You guys, did you know you were paralyzed? Literally paralyzed. Oh, and scared too. Why are you paralyzed (literally) and scared? I’ll tell you. It’s totally on account of the Socialist President of Islamic Ameriqa, Baraq Hussein Obama. Also, gay folks.

Paralyzed while pointing!

Rush Limbaugh — paralyzed while pointing!

Seriously. I wouldn’t make that up. I literally would NOT make that up. I have proof. It’s what Rush Limbaugh said, his ownself. Literally.

The fact that we are living in the historic era with the first African-American president has everybody paralyzed and everybody scared. Political leadership in Washington is literally paralyzed.  Political consultant leadership in Washington literally paralyzed. The Republican Party is literally paralyzed.  Many American citizens are literally paralyzed, frightened to death to say anything to anybody about what they really think.

Frightened to death, you guys. And literally paralyzed. Nobody — not the political leadership, not the political consultants, not the Republican Party (oh, and also many citizens) — absolutely nobody is willing to say what they really think. Because if people were to say what they really think, other people might really think they’re literally hateful bigots and asshats (and of course, they’d be wrong — but those other folks, who are probably literally gay, would totally say what they think about hateful bigoted asshattery because they’ve apparently got some sort of gay anti-paralysis gene, or something).

Rod Dreher -- paralyzed after stealing Harry Potter's spectacles! Stupefy!

Rod Dreher — paralyzed after stealing Harry Potter’s spectacles! Stupefy!

How bad is it? It’s so bad that Christians are terrified (probably literally) to voice their belief that same-sex marriage is going to totally destroy America and make Jeebus have grand mal seizures. Serious Conservative Thinker Rod Dreher weeps (figuratively) for the oppressed and silenced Christians:

Christians and other traditionalists were wrong to have demonized gay people in the past, and forced them to live in the closet for fear of their careers. Gay rights activists did a lot of good work to end this climate of fear, and to wake the rest of us up to the humanity of our gay brothers and sisters, and to increase tolerance for them. But it is to their great discredit that they have created a climate of intolerance and, yes, hatred, that sends traditionalist Christians into professional closets of their own.

C’mon gay folks! See? Christians admit they may have made some mistakes! You know, in the past. Sure, there are still a few Christians who may have politely suggested y’all shouldn’t be getting married to each other (and okay, maybe y’all should be literally stoned to death), but is that any reason to make them feel bad about their opinions? Gay folks, you are literally oppressing Christians by making them feel they can’t voice their opinion that y’all don’t deserve to get married and be happy (and, you know, that whole stoning to death business). Is it their fault y’all are possessed by demons? Is it!!??

Too paralyzed by fear to speak -- must hold up sign!

Too paralyzed by fear to speak — must hold up sign!

Okay, okay, maybe some of the things Christians have been saying (literally for centuries) about gay folks might have led to some youthful high spirits and occasional harmless hazing (and yeah, okay, maybe some taunting and beatings, and yeah, okay, terrorizing some gay kids until they literally committed suicide), but surely that should have taught y’all some compassion. Y’all know how it feels to be ostracized — so c’mon, gay folks, practice a little tolerance. You know…toward Christians.

A paralyzed crowd of Christians, too terrified to speak!

A paralyzed crowd of literal Christians, too terrified to speak!

This is America, gay folks! Literally America! Where everybody has to right to free speech (unless, you know, it offends Jeebus). It’s America, and the Constitution of These United States specifically says Christians shouldn’t have to bake cakes for gay weddings (it’s in one of those Article things, or maybe an amendment or something).

So loosen up, gay folks! Don’t take it personally when Christians refuse to bake your wedding cakes. Don’t be so sensitive when they point out that demon-possession thing! It’s not Rush Limbaugh’s fault that Jeebus and the Constitution won’t let Christians do any gay cake-baking (not a euphemism for anything). It’s hurtful to Rush when y’all suggest he’s a bigot. Hurtful, you guys! In fact, I have it on high authority that Rush took the Zimbio Celebrity Boyfriend quiz…and nailed George Clooney (he makes Rush feel like the only girl in the world while it lasts).

Like the only girl in the world -- literally

Like the only girl in the world — literally

It’s a shame, gay folks, that you have Christians so paralyzed and fearful. It’s a shame Christians don’t feel they can express their truest and deepest feelings with the people they care most about. It’s a shame they’ve been forced to hide who they really are.

It’s just such a shame. Literally.

loathsome creatures

Seriously, this shit surprised me. I mean, I know there are some a lot of Republicans in Congress who are ideological dicks more interested in making political points than in participating in the actual process of governing the fucking nation. But THIS? This is some outrageous shit, is what this is.

I’m talking about Senate Bill 1982. The Comprehensive Veterans Health and Benefits and Military Retirement Pay Restoration Act of 2014. It’s not what you’d call a sexy title, but this bill — had it passed — would have provided US$21 billion of extra coin over the next decade to expand military health benefits (including mental health treatment). It would have increased veteran education benefits. It would have expanded job training programs.

Saxby Chambliss, mewling canker-brained minnow-hearted fuckwit Republican from Georgia voted No

Senator Saxby Chambliss, mewling canker-brained minnow-hearted fuckwit Republican from Georgia voted No

The bill — had it passed — would have done a lot of small things that would make military service somewhat less onerous. If, say, a National Guard member was a licensed electrician and his license expired while he was deployed in Afghanistan, this bill would protect that license and extend the time in which it could be renewed. It would protect troops whose apartment leases expired while they were on deployment. It would forestall home foreclosures until troops could return from deployment and give them some time to get their financial matters straightened out. Little shit like that matters to ordinary folks.

But the bill didn’t pass. It didn’t pass because Senate Republicans blocked it. Seriously. Why did they block it? Bullshit reasons, that’s why. Some objected to the inclusion of ‘reproductive treatment and services’ based on some incomprehensible Jeebus-sparked twaddle. But here’s the thing — if some poor bastard gets his cojones shredded by an IED on a road in Helmand Province, but still wants to have a family, Jeebus ain’t going to plant no baby in his wife’s womb. Medical science will do that.

Senator Bob Corker, pampered leech-nurtured addle-pate Republican from Tennessee voted No

Senator Bob Corker, pampered leech-nurtured addle-pate Republican from Tennessee voted No

Some Republicans were concerned about the cost. Of course, they weren’t terribly concerned about the cost of going to war. And, of course, they’re all supportive of the new Lockheed-Martin F-35 Strike fighter — which, so far, is US$163 billion over budget and seven years behind schedule. But $21 billion stretched out over ten years for veterans? Too fucking expensive.

Even worse (and lawdy, you wouldn’t think there could be anything worse than denying a guy who left his balls in a combat zone the right to have a family), the Republicans tried adding some totally unrelated, politically motivated bullshit amendments to the bill. Like sanctions against Iran and some nonsense dealing with that Most Giant of Political Turds, Benghazi.

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, fawning pasty-hearted dissembling pig's bladder Republican from Alabama, voted No

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, fawning pasty-hearted dissembling pig’s bladder Republican from Alabama voted No — and Benghazi!

Even so, 56 Senators voted in favor of the bill. Only 41 voted against it. That’s right, a minority — all Republicans — were able to kill a bill that would help veterans. And this was as bipartisan a bill as is possible in this insane tea-party environment. More than two dozen of the provisions in the bill were Republican ideas.

But they still killed it. Not because it was a bad bill. They killed it for political reasons. For ideological reasons.

Senator Chuck Grassley, spongy po-faced corn-fed fustilarian Republican from Iowa voted No

Senator Chuck Grassley, spongy po-faced corn-fed fustilarian Republican from Iowa voted No

I’m sure, if you asked, all forty-one of those senators would claim to support the troops. I’m sure they all think of themselves as patriots. I’m pretty confident (though I haven’t bothered to check) all of them were (and probably still are) supportive of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

For them to vote against this bill is contemptible. It’s despicable and disgraceful. These people should be ashamed to be photographed in front of the flag. They should be forced to visit VA hospitals and explain their votes to the men and women there. They should be held up for ridicule and scorn by everybody who truly supports the troops. And since these people undoubtedly consider themselves to be Christians, they should suffer the most appalling of Biblical curses.

These are loathsome creatures.

comfort / discomfort

In the central public park of Glendale, California there’s a bronze statue of a young Asian woman seated in a chair. A bird is perched on her shoulder. Next to her is an empty chair.

It’s an attractive statue. Simple, but pleasing to the eye. At first glance, it’s a charming but rather innocuous work of public art. On the surface there’s nothing the least bit controversial about it. A closer look reveals the young woman’s hands are clenched into fists, which seems strangely at odds with her tranquil expression. But really, who takes a closer look at public art?

Comfort Woman Peace Monument

Comfort Woman Peace Monument

This isn’t just a work of public art, though. It’s a memorial. It’s a physical reminder of a historical event. It’s a work of art intended to preserve the memory of that event. It’s not a celebration of the event; it’s an indictment. The statue is called the ‘Comfort Woman’ Peace Monument.

And isn’t that a lovely phrase? Comfort Woman. It sounds so pleasant. It’s a translation of the Japanese term, ianfu, which is a euphemism for shōfuShōfu means ‘prostitute.’ But the memorial in the park in Glendale isn’t about prostitutes; it’s about a system of sexual slavery organized by the Imperial Army of Japan during World War Two.

Historically, wherever you find armies you find prostitution. The Imperial Army made it part of the bureaucracy. Even before WWII they organized ‘comfort stations’ in which Japanese soldiers could buy the services of Japanese prostitutes who’d been recruited from the lower classes. When Japan’s army expanded and they invaded China in 1937, the government began to send the daughters of those who opposed the war to serve in the ‘comfort stations.’ They also began to recruit local Chinese women, offering them food and clothing — which, given the Imperial Army’s practice of confiscating food supplies, was an effective form of coercion.

Young women 'recruited' to work in 'comfort stations'.

Young women ‘recruited’ to work in ‘comfort stations’.

Even so, the Imperial Army’s attempts at recruitment weren’t enough. So they began kidnapping local women. Eventually more that 2000 ‘comfort stations’ were organized throughout the war zone. Nobody knows how many women were kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery; estimates range from 20,000 to more that 400,000. Let’s split the difference — say 200,000. That’s around the population of Tacoma, Washington or Shreveport, Louisiana. Most of the women were from Korea, China, and the Philippines.

It’s been suggested (though there’s no actual data to rely on) that around three-quarters of the women forced into working the ‘comfort stations’ died there. We do know that most of the survivors were left infertile due to venereal disease or forced abortions. According to one Japanese soldier who testified at a war crimes tribunal:

“The women cried out, but it didn’t matter to us whether the women lived or died. We were the emperor’s soldiers. Whether in military brothels or in the villages, we raped without reluctance.”

After the war, nobody paid much attention to the ‘comfort women.’ That’s not really accurate. Nobody paid any attention to the ‘comfort women.’ Not until 1983, when Seiji Yoshida published a book called My War Crimes, in which he claimed to have helped kidnap some 2000 Korean women from rural areas to serve as ‘comfort women.’ Curiously, it appears Yoshida didn’t actually participate in raids to kidnap women; he’d lied about it. Nevertheless, his book was enough to rouse the righteous anger of women who’d survived the system. They began to come forward, to identify themselves and talk openly about their experiences.

Only a few at first. Then more and more until it became an international movement.

comfort women protest2

The fact that the issue of the ‘comfort women’ was ignored for so long, coupled with the mass destruction of documents by the Japanese government in the last days of war, makes it impossible to know with any certainty the exact dimensions of the sexual slavery that took place. Until 1993, the Japanese government refused to acknowledge their army had even engaged in the systematic sexual slavery of women during the war. Even after that admission a great many Japanese — including many who hold high government office — refuse to accept or admit coercion was involved in the ‘comfort women’ system.

comfort women protest3

Eventually, the Japanese government offered an official apology to the women who’d been forced to serve in ‘comfort stations.’ However, just a week ago, Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga stated Japan may reconsider that apology.

So maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that after the Comfort Women Peace Memorial was unveiled in Glendale, there was a lawsuit to have it removed. The suit was brought by two Japanese-American citizens supported by a corporation that says it’s devoted to providing “accurate and fact-based educational resources to the public…concerning the history of World War II and related events, with an emphasis on Japan’s role.”

Why do they want the statue removed? The corporation (GAHT-US) claims the memorial presents “an unfairly biased portrayal of the Japanese government’s purported involvement with comfort women during the Second World War.” As a result, members of GAHT-US who live in or near Glendale

“…suffer feelings of exclusion, discomfort, and anger by the continued presence of the Public Monument, and the controversial and disputed stance on the debate surrounding comfort women that it perpetuates.”

Plaintiff Koichi Mera “disagrees with and is offended by the position espoused by” the city of Glendale. He’d like to visit that park and avail himself of its beauty, but

“…as a result of his alienation due to the Public Monument, he avoids doing so. In addition, the presence of the Public Monument diminishes Mera’s enjoyment of the Central Park and its Adult Recreation Center.”

Plaintiff Michiko Shiota Gingery, who was born in Japan, now lives in Glendale and is a founding member of the city’s Sister City Committee. She believes the statue “presents an unfairly one-sided portrayal” of the ‘comfort women’ issue. She feels the statue’s presence in Glendale’s public park is “a significant obstacle in maintaining friendly relations among Glendale’s sister-cities.” (Although Gingery mentions the sister city of Higashiosaka, Japan in her suit, she neglects to mention the sister cities of Goseong and Gimpo, both of which are in South Korea.)

Gingery also asserts she’d

“like to use Glendale’s Central Park and the Adult Recreation Center located within Central Park. But she now avoids doing so because she is offended by the Public Monument’s pointed expression of disapproval of Japan and the Japanese people. In addition, the presence of the Public Monument diminishes Gingery’s enjoyment of the Central Park.”

And so, they feel the monument must be removed.

Kim Bok-Dong, 87 years old

Kim Bok-Dong, 87 years old

When the monument was unveiled back in July, 87-year-old Kim Bok-Dong was present. Bok-Dong was fifteen years old when the Japanese Army forced her to become a ‘comfort woman.’ For the next eight years her life was unregulated hell.

“Every Sunday, soldiers came to the brothel from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m., and on Saturday from noon until 5 p.m., plus weekdays. It was very hard to handle. I couldn’t stand at the end of the weekend. Since I had to deal with too many soldiers, I was physically broken.”

I don’t doubt that Mr. Mera and Ms. Gingery and all the members of GAHT-US are made uncomfortable by the statue in Glendale’s park. I’m sure they’re telling the truth when they say their enjoyment of the park has been diminished. I’m convinced they’re sincere when they say the statue causes them to ‘suffer feelings of exclusion, discomfort, and anger.’

I felt much the same when I visited the Japanese Internment exhibit at the Smithsonian many years ago. I suspect I’d feel something similar if I visited Hiroshima. Sometimes governments do horrible horrible things, especially in times of war. We’re supposed to be made uncomfortable by those things. We’re supposed to be ashamed and angry by those things. Our enjoyment ought to be diminished, even if we weren’t personally involved or responsible.

comfort woman memorial3

That empty chair next to the young woman? According to the plaque that accompanies the memorial, it symbolizes the “survivors who are dying of old age without having yet witnessed justice.” I think you could argue the chair is empty because it’s waiting for the next atrocity to fill it.

If there was justice in the world, there’d be copies of that statue — one for every woman lured or forced into sexual slavery — in cities all over the globe. And one for every black person lynched in the U.S. And one for every person who died in the attacks of 9/11. And one for every Iraqi civilian killed as collateral damage during an unprovoked invasion. And one for every Aborigine slaughtered in Australia. And one for every Jew and communist and Rom and gay person killed by the Nazis. And and and and. Every public square in every city in every nation in the world should have at least — at the very least — one similar statue reminding us that our governments are capable of allowing such crimes against humanity.

That’s never going to happen, of course. So for now we’ll have to settle for one modest bronze in a public park in Glendale, California. It’s a start.

no, seriously, jeebus, c’mon, are you kidding me

First, some confessional crap. My momma was born and raised in South Carolina. That means I spent a chunk of my youth there. We’re talking Deep South. Somewhere in a box there are photographs of me as a kid wearing a Confederate foraging cap. When I was a boy I actually owned a Confederate battle flag — the Stars and Bars. I grew up hearing about the War of Northern Aggression. And here’s a sad truth: I found the faded romance of the Lost Cause attractive.

Of course, I didn’t have a fucking clue what that Cause was, or what it meant. I just like the idea of heroic country boys standing up and fighting against a much bigger and better equipped army. I felt the same way about the Revolutionary War, about which I was equally clueless.

So I understand these guys, the Sons of Confederate Veterans. I understand they’d like to dissociate the Stars and Bars from its racist history. I get it — they want to distance themselves from dumb-ass, low-class, racist redneck white trash. I understand that they want to see the Confederate battle flag through a gauzy starlight filter that makes the Civil War look like a glamour shot from a cheap magazine.

But let me just say this to the Sons of Confederate Veterans: c’mon guys — wake the fuck up — this is NOT a good idea.

georgia license tag

Seriously, the Sons of Confederate Veterans have convinced the Georgia Department of Revenue to allow them to put the Stars and Bars on their license tags. I am NOT making this up. There’ll be an extra fee to get this custom license tag (call it a tax on stupid people), but ten dollars of that money will go to the SCV in order to “promote Southern Heritage through educational activities and preservation efforts around the state.” Whatever the hell that means.

You guys, it doesn’t matter how you want folks to see the Stars and Bars. It only matters that for 98% of the world it’s a hateful symbol of racism and oppression. It only matters that it makes ALL Southern folk look like fuckwits. A symbol means what the majority of people think it means. You remember how the Swastika used to be a Hindu symbol of good luck and prosperity? 

No, of course you don’t. Because the Nazis completely shit all over the swastika and now for most of the world the symbol means “I’m a white guy who hates Jews.” That’s what has happened to the Confederate battle flag. Doesn’t matter what it might have meant to your great-great-great granddaddy; now it means “I’m a white guy who hates black folks.” Now it means “Black folks, please throw rocks and shatter the windows of my car.”

Seriously, this is stupid at the cellular level. You can put this licence tag on your brand new Lexus or your Volvo station wagon, but this is what people will see when you drive down the street:

confederate flag truck

I don’t know…maybe it’s actually a good idea to let these cretinous flag-wankers identify themselves to the public at large. ‘Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.’ as the god-botherers would say. ‘Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.’

This licence tag, I suspect it will bringeth forth rocks through the windows. Can I get a hallelujah?

macho bullshit and a handy gun

Somebody asked me why I haven’t written anything about the so-called ‘Loud Music Murder’ trial. I said “Because it’s a sad and terribly stupid situation, but there’s nothing new or unusual about it.”

The thing is, this wasn’t about loud music at all. The trial was about a privileged white racist asshole, Michael Dunn. It was about four proud but resentful black teen-aged boys. It was about testosterone and a handy firearm. You remove either of those last two variables from the equation, and none of this would have happened. Remove the gun, or remove the macho bullshit, and everybody goes home alive.

Gas station/convenience store where the murder took place.

Gas station/convenience store where the murder took place

What folks keep overlooking is the fundamental fact that this tragically stupid incident took place at a convenience store. The entire point of a convenience store is you get in, get what you want, and you leave. You’re there, what…five minutes? Maybe ten? How could things spiral so badly out of control in just a few minutes? Macho bullshit and a handy firearm.

Here’s what happened. Michael Dunn pulled into the convenience story lot and parked next to an SUV. He asked the teens in the SUV to turn down their music. It didn’t matter to him that they were there first, that he pulled up and parked next to them. It didn’t matter that he was only going to be there a short time. He was a middle-aged software engineer and they were black kids playing what he described as ‘thug’ music. He felt they should heed his perfectly reasonable desire for quiet. They should have some consideration for others. The world doesn’t revolve around them. He deserved a little bit of respect.

Michael Dunn

Michael Dunn

And hey, at first they complied with his request. They turned the music off. But one of the kids asked the obvious question: who the hell did this guy think he was? Nobody asked that jerk to park next to them. Why in the hell should they have to turn off — or even turn down — their music to please him? Fuck him. Fuck him and his disrespect. Turn the music back on. Turn it up louder.

It became a dick-measuring contest. The teenage boys in the SUV weren’t going to back down, because they were teens and boys and they can play their music as loud as they damned well please. Dunn wasn’t going to back down because he was a man with a good job and a handy firearm, and those kids owed him some goddamned respect.

Dunn's 9mm Taurus handgun

Dunn’s 9mm Taurus handgun

Remove the macho bullshit from the equation, everybody goes home alive.

Dunn told the police he heard a kid in the back seat threaten him. He told the police he saw the kid pick up something that might have been a shotgun (no shotgun was found in the vehicle). So he pulled the Taurus 9mm out of his glove box and opened fire. Ten rounds in total. The first three or four rounds went through the rear door panel and hit 17-year-old Jordan Davis in the liver, lung, and aorta. Killed him almost instantly. The driver of the SUV slammed it into reverse. Dunn stepped out of his car and fired the remaining rounds. To keep their heads down, he told the police. To prevent any return fire.

Dowels showing the entry direction of the gunshots.

Dowels showing the entry direction of the gunshots.

Remove the gun from the equation, everybody goes home. Instead, Michael Dunn is going to prison. Jordan Davis is in the ground. How profoundly stupid and sad is that?

Would Dunn have been so confrontational with those kids if he hadn’t had the pistol in the glove box? Maybe, but probably not. Would the situation have escalated so rapidly if it wasn’t for the macho bullshit? Probably not.

Would this incident have happened at all if women and girls were involved? Would there be a funeral for a 17-year-old kid if there hadn’t been a gun handy? Almost certainly not.

This wasn’t the ‘Loud Music’ trial at all. It was the ‘Macho Bullshit’ trial. It was the ‘I’ve Got a Handy Gun’ trial. Macho bullshit and a handy gun — remove those variables from every equation and the murder rate would drop radically. More folks would go home alive.