is it too early to start drinking?

Posted on May 13, 2013 by greg

So as near as I can tell from reading FreeRepublic.com, the latest take on the Daily Ultimate Benghazi Scandal of the Century!!!! is this: President Baraq Hussein Obama was selling arms to al Qaeda so they could attack Syria (or maybe defend themselves against Syria — to be determined), but Ambassador Stevens found out and so had to be eliminated, so Hillary had her lesbian assistant contact her (the lesbian assistant’s) Taliban relatives and ordered them to attack the U.S. mission compound in Benghazi, then they all lied about it, thereby guaranteeing Obama’s re-election.

Or wait, maybe Obama arranged for Ambassador Stevens to be kidnapped and raped, after which he would be exchanged for the Blind Sheik Omar Abdul-Rahman, thereby guaranteeing Obama’s re-election, but it all went terribly wrong when two former SEALS who were in Benghazi to investigate missing surface-to-air missles interfered with the assault, so Obama had Hillary sabotage any rescue attempt in the same way she ordered a helicopter carrying members of Seal Team Six to crash, preventing them from telling the REAL STORY of why Osama bin Laden was killed (or maybe the REAL STORY of why bin Laden wasn’t killed — to be determined), thereby guaranteeing Obama’s re-election.

Or wait, it was George Soros who ordered the gay Muslim President of the United States to send possible lesbian (to be determined) Valerie Jarrett — the daughter-in-law of Obama’s U.S. Communist Party mentor — to Iran in order to something something Benghazi kill Americans jihad jihad ACORN, thereby guaranteeing Obama’s re-election.

So obviously there was a cover-up at the highest levels of government. What? You want evidence? You want proof? Here’s your evidence and proof, taken directly from FreeRepubic.com

Why did we have 30 operatives in a CIA complex in Benghazi? What were they doing there? Were they running guns to Syria? Were the recipients of those guns Al Qaeda? Were anti-aircraft missiles included? The deeper question is beyond political, it is TREASONOUS. I suspect 0bambi was knowingly arming Al Qaeda, our ENEMY. Uncle Miltie

Obama is obviously covering for his Jihadi friends. That is why there has been no investigation, NO suspects, NO arrests, NO names mentioned of who is responsible. Telepathic Intruder

al Qaeda is within the Gates of the White Hut, CIA and State Department. Texas Fossil

Identities SEAL Team Six are now known to our enemies thanks to Taliban operatives in the White House. Bounties and rewards for SEAL their scalps are being collected. Tugo

the US government had an iman desecrate their bodies at the airport with some moslim prayer condemning the infidels to hell. Sunny48

The SEALs have been the object of onama’s revenge since they shot that poor somali pirate and saved an American. I must have said it now a hundred times. Mesta Machine

We need to expand the search. Zero is a puppet as are all presidents. Who is he a puppet for? Who is try to spread Islam as far and wide and as fast as possible? Answer those questions and we will have whomever is behind Benghazi, Sandy Hook and Boston. B4Ranch

The question which nobody is asking: Did Bork Obunga and his puppet-master George Soros generate an immense reservoir of hatred against Americans in Libya in 2011 by taking down what amounted to the best government in the Islammic world for motives amounting to little if anything other than pure greed, and THEN set the stage for a US ambassador to be tortured, raped, and then killed by sheer fecklessness with no meaningful response in the picture even eight months later? Varmintman

The whole event was staged as an assasination of Stevens, who had become aware that the CIA was arming the Syrian “rebels” through Benghazi with Obama’s full approval. Stevens disapproved of that operation, being the true pacifist that he had been all of his life. editor-surveyor

we have a ghazi running the muslim outreach center from our white house….. soon to be their customary color…Black.\ Black House with minarets. himno hero

I think trading the blind sheik in exchange for the 30,000 SAM’s & other weapons for a kidnapped Stevens was the October surprise…why else would you send him to such a danger zone stripped of all protection…nothing else makes any sense! Stayfree

Bengazi assault was led by a radical who was released from Gitmo —clearly this plan wasn’t hatched and executed on-the-fly; that nut was released for a very specific reason and his REAL boss was and possibly even IS NOW Vallerie Jarrett. gaijin

Eric Nordstrom said ‘the Taliban is inside the building”….what building, the WHITE HOUSE with Hussein, the Muslim…..the State dept, with Hillary, who hired the released GITMO Al Queda detaineee named Qumo… and Muslim Brotherhood HUMA ABEDIN???? The Pentagon? The CIA with the LYING General Patraeus?? Ann Archy

They meant to kill the seals! It was an al-Qaeda operation to stop America from taking back the manpads! Obama and Hillary lost those missiles! If those missiles get fired, it’s Obama and Hillary’s fault! It will have been their Democrat designed policies and actions that put those missiles in our enemies hands! The real story is that Americans died because Obama and Hillary’s incompetence gave anti-aircraft missiles to al-Qaeda! Obama needs to increase hs personal security now! The Democrats got rid of Kennedy for less! blueunicorn6

You can be sure VJ (Valerie Jarrett) is in action on Tehran. She was born there, and is the leading marxist in the Kenyan Whtie House. Her father-in-law was Frank Davis, Obama’s US communist party member mentor. Flying Eagle

I know, that’s discouraging as hell. It gets worse. According to a recent survey by Public Policy Polling, 74% of Republicans believe Benghazi is a worse political scandal than Watergate — and 41% of them believe it’s the worst political scandal in American history. Would you be surprised to learn that 40% of Republicans don’t even know where Benghazi is? Nearly 40% of those respondents who stated Benghazi was the worst scandal in American history don’t even know where it is. Some of them thought it was in Cuba. Seriously, Cuba.

Is it too early to start drinking?

love and hope

Posted on May 12, 2013 by greg

I’d only walked about five yards into the woods when I saw the grave. I’d left the manicured, family-friendly part of the park and was wading into the scrub to search for morels, but the small grave marker made me pause for a while and reflect — which is, after all, exactly what grave markers are supposed to do.

This was a pet’s grave. A well-loved dog, I assume; it seems likely a person would walk a dog near those woods. The cross at one time had the pet’s name painted on it, but the weather had erased it some time ago. There was also a framed photograph, presumably of the pet, but the sun had bleached it entirely white. Still, a dog seems more probable.

It’s clearly an illegal grave. The land is public land — just over 1,800 acres owned by the county — and I can’t imagine county officials would allow folks to bury their pets there. Besides, the grave was in the woods, not visible from the part of the park maintained by park personnel. Whoever buried this dog had to bring its body to the woods at a time when he wouldn’t be spotted, carry the body far enough into the woods so the grave site wouldn’t be seen by park rangers, dig the grave, place his friend in it, and cover it up. That’s a lot of work. Whoever buried this dog had to love it enough to put its photograph in a nice cherrywood frame. Whoever buried this dog had to make the grave marker, and paint the dog’s name on it along with the letters RIP. Whoever buried this dog wanted it to rest in peace, under a Christian cross. Whoever buried this dog had to love it a lot.

There’s a sort of defiant audacity inherent in the Christian cross (and I say that as a non-Christian). Turning an instrument of governmental torture into a religious symbol is an act of insurrection. It’s an in-your-face statement of resistance. By co-opting the instrument of torture, Christians were saying to their oppressors “You can kill people, but you can’t kill an idea.” It wasn’t like the symbol of the fish — a secret code to be recognized by other Christians; it was an open display, a message to the Romans that despite the fact that he was tortured and executed, Jesus continued to live through his followers.

The Christian cross doesn’t really mean that anymore — at least not in its common usage. The four crosses in the photograph below, for example, aren’t symbolic instruments of torture. They’re not an expression of religious freedom or a token of a struggle against religious oppression. Those crosses are a simple expression of love and hope — love for the person who died, hope that the person is at peace in the company of their god.

And that’s why the cross is appropriate to mark the grave of somebody’s pet. It doesn’t matter that Christian theology denies the existence of a soul in animals. Nor does it matter that Christian orthodoxy says that without a soul, animals can’t be redeemed and thereby enter heaven. The cross over that pet’s grave has nothing to do with theology at all. That cross is an expression of love and hope — love for the dog, hope that it’s at peace, and hope that he’ll somehow be re-united with his friend in a better world.

You don’t have to be a Christian to see and appreciate the beauty in that.

it’s all about fear, isn’t it

Posted on May 8, 2013 by greg

People are often surprised to discover Wayne LaPierre, the man who usually speaks (or, more accurately, rants) for the National Rifle Association, isn’t actually ~~a mutant velociraptor~~ the President of the NRA. LaPierre’s title is Executive Vice President.

Why isn’t he the President? Two obvious reasons. First, the position of President is unpaid. There’s no salary. He’s effectively a volunteer. And Wayne don’t work for free. He likes the lucre. LaPierre’s base salary is US$845,469.00 each and every year. He also picks up some extra coin ~~biting the heads off chickens~~ doing odd jobs, like making speeches and general rabble-rousing for the NRA.

Wayne LaPierre

The second reason Wayne isn’t the President of the NRA is the president’s term is limited to two years. If LaPierre had been the NRA president, his term would have expired a long time ago, and we’d be deprived of his many charms. And wouldn’t that be a shame?

The President of the National Rifle Association is elected in a Soviet style system. There’s an election and all, but it’s primarily just for show. There’s only one candidate, and he’s been determined in advance. The candidate is actually chosen four years before his ‘election.’ He first serves two years as Second Vice President of the NRA board, then another two years as First Vice President, after which he’s ‘elected’ to the office of President.

The new President of the NRA lacks LaPierre’s social graces and his general air of genteel charm. The new President of the NRA is this guy — Jim Porter.

Jim Porter

Seriously, that’s him. Porter likes to come across as a Good Ol’ Boy — just another redneck from Alabama. But he isn’t as stupid as he sounds. Or looks. He’s surely from Alabama, but he’s also a lawyer (just like his daddy, who was also a former NRA president — and, in fact, it was his daddy who was the chairman of the infamous 1977 NRA annual meeting at which responsible hunters were removed from power and political gun nuts took control). Porter’s area of legal expertise? Defending gun manufacturers against lawsuits.I know, you’re totally shocked.

In a recent interview with NRA News (yes, that’s right — the National Rifle Association has a propaganda wing called NRA News; it’s so rabidly right-wing it makes FOXNews look like National Public Radio) Porter claimed gun owners are “being treated like second class citizens by the government of the United States.” Second class in what way, you ask? Second class in that they have to spend millions of dollars every year in lobbying at both the federal and state level, and contribute still more millions of dollars to political candidates, in order to get the legislation they want passed. It’s SO unfair.

As might be expected, Porter has a pretty low opinion of President Obama. Prior to the legislation introduce in the aftermath of the Newtown school massacre, an interviewer mentioned to porter that President Obama hadn’t actually tried to enact any restrictions on firearms or gun owners, Porter said:

“I get so sick and tired of all these people with this fake president that we got who wants to say, ‘Well, you know he hadn’t done anything bad for gun owners.’ I say, let me tell you something bad that he’s done. His entire administration is anti-gun, anti-freedom, anti-Second Amendment.”

Never mind that Porter calls the President of the United States a “fake president,” just try to make sense of that statement, I dare you. Or this one:

“Every time you take your nephew to the gun club, every time you take your daughter skeet shooting, every time you take your grandchildren out, we’re passing on the legacy of freedom.”

What the hell does that even mean? Shooting equals freedom? What? Porter shows an exceptional talent for saying things that sound like they must have meaning, but when examined turn out to be meaning-free. Just listen to this speech:

In the video above, Porter says

“I am one who still feels very strongly that that is one of our greatest charges that we can have today, is to train the civilian in the use of the standard military firearm, so when they have to fight for their country they’re ready to do it. Also, when they’re ready to fight tyranny, they’re ready to do it. Also, when they’re ready to fight tyranny, they have the wherewithal and the weapons to do it.”

Tyranny. I am so fucking tired of hearing these jack-asses talk about tyranny. When they say ‘tyranny’ what they really mean is ‘fear that somebody who is not like us might have some power over us.’ When Porter talks about the ‘legacy of freedom’ what he really means is the ‘legacy of people like us being in control.’ When the NRA leadership says gun owners are ‘treated as second class citizens’ what they really mean is ‘we don’t have the same unquestioned authority and privilege we used to have.’

That’s what it comes down to. Fear. Unlike most folks (including most gun owners), Jim Porter and Wayne LaPierre and a minority of NRA members are afraid of living in a world where people ‘not like us’ are in control. They’re afraid, and they can only see two ways to retain the illusion of power and privilege and authority: 1) keeping other people afraid too and 2) guns.

a cold, wet, miserable day is trumped by seriously badass fudge

Posted on May 5, 2013 by greg

It was thirty-seven degrees Fahrenheit yesterday morning. Over the previous two days, we’d had seven inches of snow. The morning vacillated between mist and drizzle, interrupted by brief periods of actual rain. The only good thing you could say about the weather was that it was washing away the snow. It was a cold, wet, miserable day. The fourth day of May, and it was cold and wet and miserable, and the only sensible thing to do was stay in bed. Maybe read a grim Russian novel about peasants. Starving peasants.

But yesterday was also the opening day of this year’s downtown Farmer’s Market. And that meant Spring was officially here. And that made everything pretty much okay. Bugger Russian novels. I was going shopping.

Farmers’ market – from the skywalk, looking south down 4th Street

I love the Farmer’s Market. Every Saturday morning from the first weekend in May to the last weekend in October, the city closes off a few streets and vendors set up booths and stalls from which they sell their goods and wares. These are small, local producers of victuals and crafts. They sell a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, of course, and all the expected pies and jams and pastries and herbs and breads and honeys. But there are also folks selling locally produced eggs, beef, poultry, lamb, rabbit, and goat. Hell, you can buy elk, ostrich, or buffalo, if that suits your tastes. There are folks selling locally made cheeses — cheddar, gouda, blue cheese. There are folks selling local wines (which can be an adventure) and usually somebody selling Templeton Rye — a marvelous locally distilled whiskey. There are skilled craftsmen selling ironmongery and hand-crafted furniture and all manner of jewelry. And there’s music, even in the rain. And puppetry sometimes. And of course you can buy food and drink to eat while you’re shopping — the usual burgers and barbecue, to be sure, but you can also pick up some regional delicacies made and sold by immigrants from Bosnia, Thailand, El Salvador, Morocco, Viet Nam, India.

I didn’t buy a lot. An asiago focaccia. Some asparagus. Some cherry and apple pastries. A half dozen pieces of frightfully expensive artisanal fudge.

This is not your momma’s fudge. This is a confection meticulously prepared by Master Fudgesmiths. This fudge is handmade by craftswomen following arcane fudge-making techniques that have been handed down from generation to generation of Flemish bekwaam handwerkswomen. Red velvet fudge, praline fudge, traditional old school chocolate-walnut fudge, raspberry fudge, peanut butter fudge, and a milk chocolate fudge with teensy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups cleverly grafted into the mix.

Dude, we’re talking some seriously badass fudge.

Seriously badass fudge

But it’s not just the stuff you can buy that makes me love the market. It’s the gentle carnival atmosphere. Everybody is friendly, everybody is happy, everybody wants to be there and they all make an effort to get along. I know that sounds terribly sappy, but there it is. Even as cold and wet and miserable as it was yesterday morning, the people were having fun.

Happily, three of the downtown parking garages offer free parking on market day. On cold, wet, miserable days like yesterday, it’s possible to park inside, take the skywalk to an exit near the market, and remain dry and warm going to and from the market (and on those hot days in summer, you can use the skywalk to keep cool and in the shade).

Warm and dry in the skywalk

Farmer’s markets are pretty common these days. Every city and most large towns have one. I’m sure this one isn’t radically different from a weekend farmer’s market near you. That’s part of what makes them so wonderful. Farmer’s markets benefit everybody — the farmers and the artisans who produce the goods, the consumers who buy and eat them, and the community itself. Everybody. Think about that for a moment. How many activities can you think of in which everybody benefits?

You should go to your local market next weekend. Seriously. Get up, go to the market, buy yourself some fresh vegetables, if you’re a carnivore you should buy some chemical-free chicken (yes, it’s a tad more expensive, but you’re getting better food with better flavor), buy yourself a treat of some sort, meet and mingle with a lot of strangers, pet a dog, be a part of your community. Then go home and take a nap. If you don’t wake up feeling refreshed and satisfied with life after that, then you probably belong in a coldwater garret somewhere, eating stale crusts of bread, and reading Russian novels.

texas republicans

Posted on May 2, 2013 by greg

There are stupid people everywhere. Everywhere. No region of the nation has a lock on stupidity. But I am increasingly convinced the very stupidest people are Republicans from Texas. I’m not suggesting they’re stupid because they’re Republicans, or because they’re from Texas. I know a number of Republicans who are exceedingly clever and some Texans who are brilliant. But when I happen to come across a politician saying something profoundly stupid — something stupid at the genetic level — it’s almost always said by a Republican from Texas.

Texas Republican Governor, Rick Perry (stupid, sure)

Evidence? Did I hear you ask for evidence? How about this: Rick Perry is not the stupidest Republican in Texas. This is a guy who once said “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” He’s the Governor of Texas, and he doesn’t know Juarez is across the border in Mexico — and he’s still not the stupidest Texas Republican. This is a guy who, when speaking about the disastrous BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, said “From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” Rick Perry thinks the explosion on the oil rig — the one that killed 11 workers, injured 16 others, and caused an ongoing ecological catastrophe — was a natural disaster, like a hurricane or a forest fire. This is a guy who was out-debated by Michele Bachmann. And he’s still not the stupidest Republican in Texas.

Texas Republican Joe Barton (stupid, no doubt about it)

Even more stupid: Congressman Joe Barton. Perry might think the BP oil disaster was an act of God, but Joe Barton is so stupid he apologized to BP for the government asking them to pay to clean up the mess they made in the Gulf. No, I’m not kidding; this guy actually apologized. To the people responsible for the disaster.

“I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown. I apologize. I do not want to live in a country where any citizen or corporation that does something that is legitimately wrong is subject to some sort of political pressure that, again in my words, amounts to a shakedown. So I apologize.”

Joe Barton is so stupid he once cited the Great Flood (you know, as in Noah’s Ark) as an argument against climate change. But stupid as Joe Barton is, he’s not the stupidest Republican in Texas. I swear, there are at least two more Texas Republicans who are measurably more stupid than Joe Barton.

But which one is the most stupid Texas Republican — that’s the question. I’d say there’s a veritable tie. On the one hand we’ve got the old school, long-term, legendary stupidity of Louie Gohmert. On the other hand, there’s the newly-discovered, revolutionary stupidity of Ted Cruz. Traditionalists will probably go for Gohmert, and with good reason. I’ve written about Gohmert before; he’s been supplying weapons-grade stupidity with consistency and reliability for some time. Gohmert has a reputation as the ‘go-to’ guy for Texas Republican stupidity. He’s got experience on his side.

Texas Republican Louie Gohmert (oh my god stupid)

Gohmert is the guy who concocted the notion of ‘terror babies.’ He claims terrorists are sending pregnant women into the U.S. to have babies (who are granted citizenship), after which they’ll return to their terrorist home base where those babies would be “raised and coddled as future terrorists,” then “twenty, thirty years down the road, they can be sent in to help destroy our way of life.”

Gohmert is the guy who argued against the U.S. providing funds to China to help preserve the habitat of certain rare species of wild cats and dogs because “[t]here is no assurance that if we did that, we wouldn’t end up with moo goo dog pan or moo goo cat pan. There is no way to assure that money will not be wasted.” Seriously. Moo goo cat pan.

Gohmert is the guy (and honest, I’m NOT making this up) who filed an amendment to the most recent continuing resolution bill (the one that keeps the government funded) which would prevent President Obama from playing golf until the White House tours resume (which were halted as part of the Republicans’ sequester).

Louie Gohmert provides a constant cascade of stupid. But I think I have to give the stupidity edge to the new Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz. It’s not that the quality of his stupidity is superior to Gohmert’s; it’s that he’s done so much stupid in such a short time. Cruz has a stupidity production rate that’s truly astonishing. He’s only been in Congress for about five months, but he’s packed a LOT of stupid in that short time.

Texas Republican Ted Cruz (maybe stupid, maybe just fucking nuts)

Texas Republican Ted Cruz (maybe really stupid, maybe just fucking nuts)

Cruz believes the United Nations program ‘Agenda 21’ (which is a non-binding, voluntarily implemented plan dealing with sustainable development) is a conspiratorial plot developed by George Soros “to abolish ‘unsustainable’ environments, including golf courses, grazing pastures, and paved roads.” It’s not quite clear (and by ‘not quite’ I mean ‘at all’) what Cruz thinks Soros wants to accomplish by abolishing golf courses. But damned if he’s going to let some foreigner do away with the Texas golf courses, grazing pastures, and paved roads that Davie Crockett fought for at the Alamo.

Cruz is so stupid he opposed a Senate resolution commemorating Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week. This is something Congress does as a matter of course — two to three hundred times a year, they vote to commemorate something. Little League baseball. The mathematical constant pi. Recreational vehicles. Welders Appreciation Day. And yes, this year Congress agreed to declare March 11 through March 15, 2013 Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week…

…in recognition of the importance of finding the cause and cure for multiple sclerosis and to express appreciation to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Ted Cruz objected. Why? “Unfortunately, the sponsors of this resolution circulated their request for unanimous consent less than 48 hours before they wanted it passed.” Seriously. Forty-eight hours wasn’t long enough for the Senator from the Great State of Texas and his entire staff to decide whether or not they wanted to recognize “the importance of finding the cause and cure” for MS. That is stupid on a galactic scale.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Ted Cruz ought to be disqualified from the Stupidest Republican from Texas Award. Maybe Ted Cruz isn’t really stupid at all. Maybe he’s just fucking nuts.

This is the Texas Republican Party. Proudly stupid, full of self-important rage, possibly insane.

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it's this or get a real job

Monthly Archives: May 2013