the stupidest fucking people on the planet

Let me begin by saying this: I’m a liberal who likes guns. Guns are incredibly efficient technology, and I like efficiency. They make a terrific noise, and there are times when I enjoy a loud noise. I like the fact that you can point them at an object and a hole will appear in that object, and I like that it takes some skill to make that hole appear where you want it to appear. If you shoot a handgun at night, flame comes out of the barrel — and that’s pretty. Even prettier is tracer fire at night. So yes, I like guns.

I just don’t trust anybody to own one.

The fetishization of firearms reveals the very worst of American culture. It makes already paranoid people even more paranoid and already stupid people even more stupid. Witness Representative Louis Gohmert, a Republican from Texas (and I don’t want to cast aspersions on Texas, but lawdy folks, what the fuck is wrong with you people?). Gohmert has proven himself capable of superhuman feats of stupidity in the past (he once argued that the Trans-Alaska oil pipeline was good for the environment because it gave caribou a place to have sex), but in an interview this morning he took stupid to a new level. Gohmert claimed last night’s mass murder at the premier of the new Batman movie in Aurora, Colorado was a result of “ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs.” That’s not just stupid, it’s delusional. He also wondered why nobody in the audience didn’t pull a firearm and return fire — I guess because one person shooting in a dark movie theater just isn’t enough. But hey, returning fire — that’s the Christian thing to do. (Gohmert, by the way, teaches Sunday School at the Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas; it’s unknown how many of the children who attend his lectures are packing heat.)

Louis Gohmert

Some people on far right websites like FreeRepublic are even asserting the mass murder is part of a plan by the Obama administration — either to seize all the weapons in the US before the election in November or as part of a Muslim Brotherhood plot to seize control of the US. Or both. Others are claiming the shooting was part of an Occupy Wall Street plan to…well, nobody seems to know why OWS would shoot innocent strangers in a movie theater, but fucking hippie faggot communists dammit they’re capable of anything — I mean, what sort of people play drums in a circle? And then, of course, there were the people who assumed that since the shooting took place on the first night of Ramadan, it had to be a jihadist attack. Stupid, stupid fucking people.

There are three things we can be certain of. First, there will be calls from a few liberals for reasonable gun control legislation. Second, there will be claims from conservatives that existing gun control laws are already too strict. And finally, nothing will change.

Right now in the United States it’s almost as easy to buy a firearm as it is to buy a toaster. Sure, if you go to a licensed gun dealer, you’ll have to fill out a form and show some identification–but you’d have to be stupider than Louis Gohmert if you can’t figure out an easy way to get around that. Even if you are that stupid, you can still go to a gun show this weekend and buy any number of weapons without filling out any forms or showing any identification at all. Or you can go to an estate sale, or an auction, or a garage sale and buy weapons. Or if it’s too hot to go outside, you buy weapons through mail-order sportsman catalogs or on the internet and have them delivered right to your door.

This didn’t change after the Columbine School shootings, it didn’t change after the Virginia Tech school shootings, it didn’t change after the shooting at the Gabrielle Giffords event, it hasn’t changed despite all the mass murders that take place in the US every year — and sad to say, it’s not going to change now.

Here is a true thing: it’s too goddamn easy to buy firearms in the U.S. Don’t give me that shit about ‘guns don’t kill people, people kill people.’ If you actually think that’s true, then you’re just as fucking stupid as Louis Gohmert. Guns make it easier to kill people, and to kill people in larger numbers. You tell me that this guy in Colorado could have have killed as many people if he’d used a bomb? Fine, I’m all for making it more difficult to make bombs too. But it takes some skill and patience to build a bomb, whereas any nitwit can walk into a gun show and buy as many guns as his credit card will allow. You tell me that Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear arms? I’m with you there, but brother that was written in the last half of the 18th century when a good marksman might have been able to fire four rounds per minute in a fucking musket. I’d be willing to allow you to own all the muskets you want. I guarantee you if the Aurora gunman had been armed with a musket, Colorado families wouldn’t be burying a dozen kids this week.

Here’s one of the problems we face. Right now liberals are saying “This isn’t a time for politics; we should be thinking about the families” and conservatives are saying “This is a tragedy, but you can’t punish honest law-abiding gun owners because of the actions of one crazy person.” And I’ll say “This IS a time for politics, because that’s the only way we can reduce the incidence of these sorts of mass murders.” And I’ll say “Placing reasonable limits on the types of firearms a person can own and the size of the magazines for those firearms isn’t punishing anybody but people who intend to shoot a whole lot of people in a short amount of time.”

What happened in Aurora is a community tragedy. The national tragedy is that the firearm debate in the US is controlled by the stupidest fucking people on the planet.

NOTE: I have to confess to an error. I suggested nothing had changed as a result of the shooting at the Gabrielle Giffords political event. I was wrong. Four months after the shootings, the State of Arizona passed legislation making the Colt single-action army revolver the State’s official sidearm.

pointing fingers at dicks

Okay, let’s get this bit out of the way quickly. Yes, Daniel Tosh is a dick. Yes, he has the absolute right to express his dickishness. Yes, comedians are allowed to make fun of anything, including terrible things like rape. And even yes, it’s possible — and sometimes even healthy — to make fun of terrible things, including rape.

BUT…. And I’ll come back to this ‘but’ in a bit.

If you’re not aware of Tosh or this incident, here’s a brief synopsis. Tosh is a comedian of the Fart and Puke School. He’s a proponent of the notion that it’s okay to say any offensive thing you want so long as you say it with a boyish grin. During a recent stand-up routine, according to a woman who attended the set, he began “making some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny.” The woman, understandably offended, shouted out “Actually, rape jokes are never funny!” Tosh then started telling the audience how hilarious it would be if that woman was gang-raped. The woman wrote about the experience in her blog, which received a lot of attention — and rightly so.

Tosh has since issued a standard non-apology apology on Twitter, saying: “All the out of context misquotes aside, i’d like to sincerely apologize” and “The point i was making before i was heckled is there are awful things in the world but you can still make jokes about them.”

And that brings me back to that BUT….

But an apology is meaningful only if you recognize you’ve done something wrong or that the person to whom you’re apologizing has a legitimate reason to be offended. Neither of those conditions apply here. Tosh seems to think the issue isn’t that he behaved like a complete asshole, but that the people who were (and still are) offended don’t understand his position on rape jokes. He doesn’t acknowledge that it’s just fundamentally, unconditionally, and totally fucking wrong to suggest anybody ought to be raped.

Any ‘joke’ that suggests rape is funny isn’t a joke. Any ‘joke’ that suggests somebody should be raped isn’t a joke. That’s just so blatantly obvious it shouldn’t need to be pointed out to anybody.

That said, the woman was wrong when she claimed ‘rape jokes are never funny.’  I understand her point, and I completely agreed with her until I heard comedian Elayne Boosler defend the claim that anything can be the subject of humor. Sometimes humor comes out of righteous anger. Boosler spoke about a news report of a man who was acquited of rape because his victim wasn’t wearing any panties. The defense was the woman ‘was asking for it.’ Boosler then said “Now when I go out, I wear two pairs of underwear so that they know, not only am I not asking for it, I’m not even thinking about it.”

That’s a sad and angry sort of humor, but it’s a perfect example of the proper way to use humor to address a horrible subject. Boosler wasn’t making light of rape, the way Tosh did. She was pointing out how fucked up it is to have a legal system and a culture that teaches women “don’t get raped” instead of teaching men “don’t rape.” Tosh, intentionally or not, perpetuates the idea that rape is acceptable and that women who don’t find that amusing are ‘overly sensitive.’

Sad to say, I doubt this controversy will hurt Tosh, any more than Rush Limbaugh’s tirade against Sandra Fluke hurt Limbaugh. These people know their audience; they know they’re addressing a demographic that enjoys demeaning people. We can either choose to ignore them (which they won’t notice) or we can keep pointing out their dickish behavior. That might be equally futile, but sometimes — like woman who interrupted Tosh’s routine — it’s important to just get up, make a righteous noise and point your finger at assholes like Daniel Tosh.

beyond all recognition

You know what bothers me? For six years Republicans in Congress have blocked the appointment of a director for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms–an agency which they’ve also woefully under-funded. Republicans in Congress have also opposed any legislation that would make firearms trafficking a federal crime. In fact, Republicans have opposed anything even remotely resembling reasonable restrictions on the sale or ownership of firearms. Those things bother me.

You know what else bothers me? In Arizona if you’re 18 and can pass an instant criminal background check, you can buy as many guns as you want. Five, ten, twenty guns–no problem. No permit required, no waiting period–lay down the cash and you can walk out of a gun shop with a couple dozen firearms for your own personal use. You can then, ten minutes later, change your mind. You can decide you don’t really need twenty firearms, and you can walk down the street and sell those guns to a stranger. Unless the government can prove that at the moment you made the purchase you intended to sell those guns to a person who couldn’t legally buy one for himself, it’s all perfectly legal.

You know what else bothers me? Any attempt to tighten those Arizona laws have been blocked by Republicans.

And this bothers me: Republicans in Congress are accusing the Obama administration of deliberately allowing firearms purchased in Arizona to be ‘walked’ over the Mexican border and sold to drug cartels in order to create a crisis that would allow them to enact stricter gun control laws. In other words, Republicans have created the conditions that make it almost impossible to prevent guns from being sold to Mexican drug cartels and are now claiming there’s something sinister in the inability of the Obama administration to prevent guns from being sold to Mexican drug cartels.

Here’s something else that bothers me. Darrell Issa–the Republican Senator who is leading the so-called Fast and Furious investigation–was himself arrested once for possessing a concealed, loaded, unregistered handgun.

And you know what bothers me most of all? The news media refuse to take the time to actually learn the facts of the situation. They simply repeat the accusations, the half-truths and the outright lies made by Issa and other opponents of the Obama administration, and call it reporting.

This is just fucked up. Completely, totally, beyond all recognition.

you can’t make this shit up

Okay, imagine this: in the mid-1980s a woman named Cheryl Sullenger, an abortion opponent, attempted to blow up a Womens Health Clinic in San Diego. She was caught, and in 1988 she and five other co-conspirators were convicted in a federal court of conspiracy. She served time in prison. On her release, Sullenger was hired as a senior policy advisor by Operation Rescue–which leaves one to wonder what sort of policy advice the group was seeking.

In 2006 Sullenger filed a complaint with the Kansas State Board of Healing Arts against Ann Neuhaus, a doctor who offered a second opinion on a few late-term abortion cases. The law in Kansas requires a woman seeking a later-term abortion to obtain a second physician’s opinion. In eleven cases, Dr. Neuhaus found the patients had serious mental health issues and an abortion was advisable. Sullenger’s complaint claimed Dr. Neuhaus’ examinations weren’t thorough enough to merit that advice (though, of course, Sullenger believes a thorough examination would necessarily result in a decision against abortion). That complaint sat without a hearing until last week.

In the intervening years, though, Sullenger provided a guy named Scott Roeder with information regarding Dr. George Tiller, the doctor who provided the abortion services on which Dr. Neuhaus offered her second opinion. Roeder later murdered Dr. Tiller as he attended church. In Roeder’s car, the police found Sullenger’s Operation Rescue telephone number. He told authorities he’d spoken to Sullenger on several occasions about ‘justifiable homicide’ in regard to protecting the life of the unborn. Sullenger said she provided Roeder with the information about Dr. Tiller ‘to be polite.’ She wasn’t charged with any crime.

Several months ago the governor of Kansas–Sam Brownback, an abortion opponent–appointed a lawyer named Rick Macias to the State Board of Healing Arts. Macias had, at one time, represented Operation Rescue. And suddenly that complaint filed by Sullenger way back in 2006 got a hearing.

Can you guess what happened? Of course you can. On Friday the Kansas State Board of Healing Arts revoked the medical license of Dr. Ann Neuhaus.

Dr. Ann Neuhaus having her medical license revoked

Just to be clear, let me repeat this. A complaint filed six years ago by a woman convicted of attempting to bomb a medical clinic and who is an associate of a man convicted of assassinating a doctor who performed a legal medical procedure is heard by a committee appointed by a governor who is opposed to that legal medical procedure–a committee on which sits a lawyer who represented a group opposed to that legal medical procedure, and that committee decides to revoke the medical license of a doctor for the offense of offering a second opinion on eleven cases involving that same legal medical procedure.

That’s fucked up.

For the record, let me say I dislike the need for abortions. I wish nobody ever had to make that decision. But it’s a decision that belongs to a woman in consultation with her doctor. Let me also remind folks once again that this is a legal medical procedure. For now.

Let me also say there is something deeply un-American about people who are so intent on imposing their religious and moral values on everybody else.

dueling definitions of pornography

There is something profoundly wrong with the modern Republican party.

Last week the House Committee on Natural Resources held a hearing on the process of mountain-top removal (MTR) coal mining. If you’re not familiar with that practice, it’s been used for a couple decades now, all over Appalachia–Pennsylvania, Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky. The name is incredibly self-descriptive; MTR involves clearing timber from a mountaintop and then dynamiting the peak. The mountaintop is literally removed. The coal is excavated and all the waste gets dumped into into the nearby valleys. The valleys, of course, are where the streams and creeks and brooks are located.

Not surprisingly, depositing massive amounts of coal debris into streams turned out to be in violation of the Clean Water Act. However, in 2002 coal company lobbyists managed to get the Bush administration to ‘clarify’ the Clean Water Act so that MTR debris wasn’t considered ‘waste.’

Problem solved! Clean water was restored to the areas at the stroke of a pen. Everybody wins!

MTR is horrible, of course. The Republican support for the practice is appalling. But that’s old news. It’s hardly a surprise that they’ll shift laws to benefit corporations over people. What IS surprising, though, is how incredibly skewed their priorities are. At the hearing last week an opponent to MTR (Maria Gunnoe) was scheduled to testify about the devastating effects the practice has on the people who have to live with the consequences of filthy water. Part of her testimony–which was made available to committee members beforehand–involved a slideshow of photographs by photojournalist Katie Falkenberg, who documented the lives of some of the people living in the affected areas.

Before she could testify, however, Gunnoe was approached by staffers working for Representative Doug Lamborn–a Republican who sits on the committee and, by coincidence, has close ties to the American Coal Council (Lamborn gave the keynote speech at last year’s ACC conference, in which he accused President Obama of fighting ‘a war against coal’). Lamborn’s staffers informed Gunnoe she wouldn’t be allowed to use one of Falkenberg’s photographs. This photograph:

Why did she have to remove that photograph? Because Lamborn thought it was child pornography. And indeed, after she delivered her testimony (which was given without the photograph) Gunnoe was detained for an hour by Capitol Police and questioned about the alleged ‘child pornography’..

Lamborn and other Republicans see nothing at all wrong with blowing up mountaintops and dumping waste in the groundwater used by poor people–but when looking at this photograph they don’t see a child forced to live in heartbreaking conditions; they see something sexual.

Anybody who sees anything sexual in this photograph is twisted. Anybody who looks at this photograph and thinks in terms of sexuality instead of basic human rights and living conditions is depraved and morally corrupt.

So let me say it again. There is something profoundly wrong with the modern Republican party.

torture…pffft…let’s not get carried away

A couple weeks ago, while nobody was paying attention, the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals reversed a lower court’s decision permitting convicted terrorist José Padilla to sue John Yoo.

Padilla, you may recall, was arrested in May of 2002. The government claimed he was planning to build and detonate a ‘dirty bomb’ in the United States. He was held in a military prison without charge or due process for three and a half years, during which time he was subjected to ‘enhanced interrogation’ techniques which included prolonged isolation, sensory deprivation, sensory overload (extreme variations in temperature, loud noises, long periods of absolute darkness or light, exposure to noxious smells), administration of psychotropic drugs, sleep deprivation, prolonged shackling, stress positions and threats to his family–all of which have long been considered either illegal or torture.

The Bush administration was eventually required to release Padilla from military custody. In 2007, he was tried and convicted in a civilian criminal court. He was sentenced to serve 17 years for conspiracy to kill or maim, and for providing support to a terrorist organization. The accusation about the ‘dirty bomb’ for which he was originally arrested? No charges involving such a bomb were ever filed.

José Padilla

After his conviction, Padilla sued John Yoo, asking for US$1.00 in damages. That’s right, one dollar. Padilla wasn’t looking for actual justice; he just wanted to make a point.

Yoo, of course, is the former member of the Office of Legal Counsel (the office tasked with assisting the U.S. Attorney General in giving legal advice to the President) who wrote the infamous ‘torture memos’ which stated President Bush had the legal authority to order ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’ to be used on suspected terrorists. A subsequent review of Yoo’s memoranda by the Justice Department’s Office of Professional Responsibility stated Yoo had committed ‘intentional professional misconduct’ when he claimed the president could authorize torture; they recommended he be referred to the his state Bar Association for possible disciplinary action (i.e., disbarred). That conclusion was overruled by a more senior Bush administration lawyer.

And now Padilla’s suit against Yoo has also been dismissed. Why? Because according to the Ninth Circuit Court, “There was at that time considerable debate, both in and out of government, over the definition of torture as applied to specific interrogation techniques.” In other words, although there was universal agreement in the international legal community about whether those practices constituted torture, disagreement about the definition of torture in the Bush administration means Yoo can’t be held accountable. The court stated they “cannot say that any reasonable official in 2001-03 would have known that the specific interrogation techniques allegedly employed against Padilla, however appalling, necessarily amounted to torture.”

John Yoo

By the way, those ‘torture memos’ are also referred to as the ‘Bybee memos’ because although Yoo wrote them, the memoranda were signed by his superior, Jay Bybee. Bybee left the Office of Legal Counsel in 2003 to become a judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals–the court that just dismissed the suit against John Yoo. While Bybee wasn’t on the panel of judges who heard the case, one can’t help but note the irony.

Yoo’s response to the dismissal of the suit? “For several years, Padilla and his attorneys have been harassing the government officials he believes to have been responsible for his detention and ultimately conviction as a terrorist. He has now lost before two separate courts of appeals, and will need to find a new hobby for his remaining time in prison.”

That’s right…John Yoo is finally free of the years of cruel harassment he’s had to endure at the hands of José Padilla.

happy birthday edward r.

Today is Edward R. Murrow’s birthday. Murrow is lionized by journalists and students of journalism–and rightly so. He had the sort of career people make movies about (and, in fact, they did: Good Night, and Good Luck, 2005).

His first real brush with fame took place in 1940 during the Blitz, when the German Luftwaffe indiscriminately bombed England. Murrow, a reporter for CBS Radio, was stationed in London when the bombing began and he remained at his post, broadcasting live during the height of the Blitz. He ended each broadcast by saying “Good night, and good luck.” It wasn’t just a catchphrase; more than a million homes and buildings in London were destroyed during the Blitz, and some 20,000 Londoners were killed. Luck played a big role in who would still be alive come morning.

But it was Murrow’s stand against McCarthyism that sealed his fame. In the early 1950s, Senator Joseph McCarthy was using his position on the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations to browbeat anybody he even remotely suspected of treason, disloyalty, or subversion (which appeared to include anybody who disagreed or questioned Sen. McCarthy). Very few people were willing to stand up against McCarthy. Murrow was one of the few, broadcasting two special reports on McCarthy and his tactics. He ended the second report with this:

     We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men—not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and to defend causes that were, for the moment, unpopular.

This is no time for men who oppose Senator McCarthy’s methods to keep silent, or for those who approve. We can deny our heritage and our history, but we cannot escape responsibility for the result. There is no way for a citizen of a republic to abdicate his responsibilities. As a nation we have come into our full inheritance at a tender age. We proclaim ourselves, as indeed we are, the defenders of freedom, wherever it continues to exist in the world, but we cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.

What made this remarkable, aside from the courage it took to confront McCarthy, was the fact that Murrow was known as a reporter–a newsman. Not an analyst, not a commentator, not a pundit–a reporter whose job was to report facts.

I’m mentioning this mainly because that approach to the news seems to have largely disappeared. Modern journalists tend to report what news-makers say; they rarely bother to report whether what is said is truthful or accurate. This allows folks like Mitt Romney to make outrageous claims (like, say, Romney’s claim that the Obama administration is engaging on a systematic assault on people of faith) without any fear of contradiction (or any fear of being revealed as a lying sack of shit).

Modern journalists seem to have abdicated their role as reporters of fact and have become instead mere recorders of statements. They do this in the mistaken belief that they’re being objective–that objectivity means reporting ‘both sides of a story.’ And to be sure, nonpartisanship is something to which journalists should aspire. But it’s not partisan to point out the facts when one side of the story is utter bullshit. For example, when gun rights advocate John Lott claims that “laws allowing for the concealed carrying of handguns causes levels of violent crime to drop,” it’s not partisan to point out that the report on which he bases that claim has been debunked because of fabricated data. Allowing a subject to make a statement that’s patently untrue and that relies on ‘data’ that somebody just made up isn’t being nonpartisan; it’s being stupid. Worse, it’s contributing to the stupidization of the general public.

I wouldn’t presume to put words in Edward R. Murrow’s mouth–no, wait. I will, in fact, be that presumptuous. If Murrow were alive to celebrate his 104th birthday, I suspect he’d be likely to say something like this: “Journalists,your job is to report, not just repeat.” And then he’d say “Good night, and good luck–and stop being such useless dicks.” I’m pretty sure that’s what he’d say.

the real assault on free speech

Let me begin by saying two things: First, I’m pretty close to being a free speech absolutist. Second, I like the Catholic Church. I’m not a Christian and I think an awful lot of Church doctrine is laughable nonsense, but I very much like the concept of the Church. I like the continuity and the tradition and the ritual of the Church, even while I actively despise some of the practices caught up in the continuity, tradition and ritual.

That said, it’s hard to defend Bishop Daniel Jenky of Peoria, Illinois. He recently delivered a very public and widely-disseminated homily deploring how the Obama administration has conspired to deprive Catholic Bishops of their right to free speech. How? By considering (and later rejecting) legislation that would have required Catholic institutions to provide the same level of health care coverage to women employees that every other employer is require to provide. Here’s an excerpt from the homily:

Now, I totally support the right of Bishop Jenky to compare President Obama and his policies to those of Stalin, Hitler and Bismarck. It’s untrue, it’s offensive, and it’s wildly delusional–but I support his right say it. I also fully support the right of the Church to make decisions regarding religious doctrine to be followed by Catholics (I don’t think it even needs to be said that I support the right of Catholics to ignore that doctrine).

What I cannot support–what I find profoundly hypocritical and arrogant–is Bishop Jenky melodramatically whining about these illusionary assaults on his free speech at the same time the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith is condemning U.S. nuns for voicing their own opinions on the very same subjects Jenky is discussing.

The Vatican has ordered that the Leadership Conference of Women Religious–a group representing nearly 60,000 nuns–be ‘reformed’ for making “occasional public statements” that disagreed with the Conference of Bishops, “who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.” An Archbishop (a man, of course, since women can’t be ordained in the Church) has been given the task of overseeing this ‘reform.’ It’s pretty clear that when they say ‘reformed’ they mean ‘muzzled.’

I suspect Bishop Jenky–one of those ‘authentic teachers of faith and morals’–is  incapable of seeing the irony in this. How could he, when his head is that far up his own ass?