memorial day, maxwell

Posted on May 27, 2014 by greg

I only know a few veterans who give much attention to Memorial Day. I generally don’t. Don’t get me wrong — the concept of Memorial Day is beautiful. Honoring the men and women who’ve died while serving in the military is a worthy idea. But let’s face it, there’s not a lot of actual honoring going on these days. In practice, Memorial Day has become a cheap-ass way for people to ‘support the troops’ without actually having to do anything. It’s a form of emotional absolution; people wave the flag a couple times a year and say ‘Thanks for your service’ to a few folks in uniform, then they’ve done their duty and can go about their lives.

It’s not their fault. Most folks simply don’t have any skin in the game. Since we have a volunteer military, relatively few people have family serving in the armed forces. In fact, I’d suggest most people don’t even know anybody currently serving in uniform. We now have a military force comprised almost entirely of strangers. So it’s understandable that we don’t really care too much about what happens to them.

It saddens me. It annoys me. But it no longer angers me. I totally understand and I can’t really blame anybody for only paying lip service to the troops.

So in order to avoid becoming annoyed with people, I prefer to spend Memorial Day doing something non-Memorial Dayish. But yesterday, on the way from one place to another, I happened to drive through the small town of Maxwell, Iowa. And I mean small town. Population of 920, according to the last census. That’s 920 people total, living in 349 households, and belonging to 242 families.

The main road through Maxwell passes by a cemetery. And there were flags. So I made a U-turn and stopped.

I didn’t even attempt to count them. Let’s just say there were a lot of flags. Not tiny flags, like the ones they hand out at parades or most often seen in cemeteries. These were full-sized flags.

And I was moved, almost to tears. Not because of the flags themselves; the U.S. flag may be a marvel of graphic design, but it’s increasingly being used primarily as a prop. No, I was moved by the effort.

These 920 people went to a great deal of bother to put up those flags. They likely spent a sizable chunk of the town’s tiny budget to buy them. This had to involve a very real sacrifice of time and money on the part of the citizens of Maxwell. A town that small, you know most of the people living there are farmers or have farm-related jobs. I don’t know anything about farming, but it seems like this is a busy time of year for folks who do farm stuff.

But they somehow found the time — no, they made the time — to put up all those flags. Why? Because they thought Memorial Day was worth it. Because they thought we were worth it, all of us who’ve spent time in military harness. Because they think the troops are still worth it.

For the first time in years, Memorial Day meant something to me. It meant something to me because it meant something to the 920 people of Maxwell, Iowa.

things on a table — knuckles dobrovic

Posted on May 23, 2014 by greg

Back in January I wrote about my reluctant conversion to Instagram. I was one of those people who mocked and jeered the app. I was one of those folks who used a camera to shoot photos — not a telephone with integrated camera-like technology. I considered Instagram to be a platform for cheesy photographers to display cheesy snapshots of their feet, or drunken snapshots of their drunken friends at parties, or sappy snapshots of sappy sunsets.

And hey, there really is a LOT of that stuff to be found in Instagram. But when I started to noodle around looking at photos on Instagram, I discovered there was also a surprising amount of really good work. It was because of that work (along with the purchase of a phone with a moderately decent camera) that I decided to dip my toe into the Instagram stream.

22 July, 2013

So in July of last year, I created an Instagram account. I was shy about it. I didn’t want something that could be publicly associated with me, so I used an alias for my account: Knuckles Dobrovic. I conceived a really simple (and let’s face it, really contrived) idea for some Instagram-ish photos: I would put something on a glass patio table, and I’d photograph it.

It was intended to be a lighthearted experiment. I was just going to noodle around and see what the cellphone camera could do, and get some idea of how Instagram worked. I wanted it to be something I could delete without hesitation or regret if/when it became too embarrassing or too dull.

August 3, 2013

What I’d actually done, of course, was unconsciously sabotage the experiment. I didn’t want to like Instagram. And in the earliest photographs, that really showed. I just put any damned thing near to hand on the table — some ears of corn, a baseball, a beer bottle, a random collection of old eyeglasses — and photographed it without much care or concern about the final image.

Sure, there was some minimal attempt at composition, but it remained basically a fairly lackadaisical exercise.

September 19, 2013

At some point, however, the experiment took hold of me. I found myself being more thoughtful and deliberate about the photos. I began to look around to find things that would be more photogenic on the table. I began to compose the shots more carefully. When I was out and about, I began collecting things specifically for the table. I talked about the project to friends and family. I actually began to care about the photographs.

November 4, 2013

Things on a Table became an actual project. Almost every day, I put something on the table and photographed it. I began to vary the time of day I shot the photo so I could use different light and catch different shadows. I photographed things on the table in all sorts of weather. I’d shift the table to different spots on the deck to get different patterns of line, light and shadow.

I even considered taking the table to different locations — out into the country, onto the sidewalk, into the city. That idea got tossed fairly quickly, mainly because it would have been a massive pain in the ass. But the important thing was that I’d begun to set specific parameters for limits on the project.

November 22, 2013

Winter came and snow covered the table, and I still put a thing on it and took a photo. I even began to create ice-things for the table. I’d find a thing, put it in a container, fill the container with water, set it outside and photograph the frozen result. I’d stuff things inside balloons, then fill the balloons with water and let them freeze. I’d shoot the photo, then leave the frozen things on the table and let the snow cover them. Over time the heat of the sun or the force of the wind would gradually reveal them, and I’d photograph them again.

January 9, 2014

To my surprise, friends and family members began gathering assorted bits and bobs of stuff they thought might appeal to me or look good on the table. An odd rock, plastic bubble wrap from a toner cartridge, an interesting weed, a hubcap found along the road. Eventually, people I know only through social media began to mail me things to put on the table.

I began to re-use some of the things — a piece of driftwood, a half a brick, some dead flower blossoms, an ornamental magnifier — partly because I like their shape or texture, and partly because the idea of continuity of things appealed to me.

March 15, 2014

Like any project, this one occasionally feels like a chore. I’ve considered abandoning it two or three times. But each time I’d spot something that might be interesting on the table, and I’d find myself out on the deck trying to find an angle that worked.

At this point I figure I’ll finish out the year. I’ll continue to photograph things on the table into July. Then I’ll probably come up with some other sort of project, simply because I’ve grown fond of the name Knuckles Dobrovic.

April 29, 2014

I realize that’s a stupid reason. I don’t care. I’ve no objection to doing things for stupid reasons. I mean, I’m the guy who came up with the name Knuckles Dobrovic just to photograph random things on a table. Stupid is where I live.

May 23, 2014

it’s american spring, bitches

Posted on May 16, 2014 by greg

You know what day today is? Okay, yeah, it’s Friday, but that’s not what I meant. I meant do you know what day today is? Yeah yeah, it’s the 16th of May, but that’s not what I meant either. I meant do you know what DAY it…okay, Jeebus on an ant hill, never mind, I’ll just tell you.

Today is the first day of Operation American Spring, bitches. I already told you about this. How could you forget that this is the day American Patriots will gather in the millions and shut down the nation’s capital? Gathering in the goddamn millions, people. Gathering in Washington, District of Communists, and they intend to stay and occupy the city until the Tyrant Baraq Hussein ‘The Bamz’ Obama is forced out of office.

The organizer of Operation American Spring, Colonel Harry Riley (Commander, Planet Skaro Expeditionary Force, Ret.), had predicted thirty million people would show up in the District of Constipation today. That’s a lot of people. All of whom are totally dedicated to ~~kicking the Bamz’s black ass~~ restoring decency and honor to Our Government of These United States.

However, many Patriots have been called to defend freedom elsewhere. There are SO many places in America where freedom is in danger from gun-hating gay atheists and other hybrid-driving traitors. It keeps Patriots busy. For example, Captain Karl’s many Operation Bundy Freedom units will be unable to lend their manly support to Operation American Spring, because they need to be deployed

…to BUNKERVILLE to execute THE BUNKERVILLE PLAN, so that all Washington D.C. usurpations and spending are restored to the States and the people, all Federal Agencies are kicked out of our home Countries and so that our American Middle Class family weekly paychecks are DOUBLED in size, restoring our local home town and city economies.

So there’s ~~four or five fat white guys~~ several thousand Patriots who’ll be unable to assist Col. Riley in his occupation of Washington, District of Corruption.

These brave Patriots are well aware of the risks they’re taking. Terry Trussell, Chief of Staff for Operation American Spring, has alerted the Patriot Nation that at the very least they’ll be facing “people from the liberal-left-progressive side, the Marxists, the anti-freedom and liberty people.” Worst case scenario, according to Trussell, would involve a drone strike. But Trussell is pretty sure that a drone strike would backfire (so to speak):

“[T]hey can pull in drones, but when the government destroys the capital just to get rid of us, I think it’s going to work to their discredit.”

He has a point. Destroying the entire District of Colonoscopies would likely discredit the Bamz Regime. Of course, the Gaystream Media would probably cover it up.

“Take that, Patriots of Operation American Spring!” said Bamz

Still, despite these unavoidable setbacks, Col. Riley fully expects enough Patriots to face the risks and challenges. He’s confident they’ll occupy the capital.

“We are intending to field about 10-20 million people in Washington, D.C. and we’re going to close it down. We are going to circulate, clear out into Maryland and Virginia. We will have a gigantic, massive rally on May 16. Then some of those people will have to go home, they have to work.”

So the number of Patriots may dwindle somewhat after this weekend, because, you know…somebody’s got to pay the rent. But there will still be millions of Prayer Warriors lending invisible spiritual support to ensure the Usurper-in-Chief will be evicted, tried, convicted, and sentenced for his unconstitutional Muslim Treason. Operation American Spring is…

“…bathed in prayer. We’ve got a tab on our website where we’ve got a list of prayer warriors that are working every day in prayer for us. We’re bathed—it’s under God and we’re going to move up there and trust Him that it will work out because we believe it’s noble, it’s an honorable effort.”

So there’s that. They have a tab on their website. If it appears that there are somewhat fewer that 20,000,000 Patriots in Washington, District of Castration, just know that all those Prayer Warriors are there in spirit, singing the Operation American Spring jingle.

All the best revolutions have a jingle. The French have La Marseillaise. During the Spanish Civil War they sang A las Barricadas. And the Maoists sang that catchy little tune, The Sky Above the Liberated Zone.

https://soundcloud.com/rightwingwatch/jingle-for-operation-american-spring

Years from now, when you’re old and weary, wearing a diaper and sitting on the porch, watching to your snot-nosed grandchildren play ‘Patriots and Negro Traitors’ on the lawn during the May 16th Day of Independence Celebration, you’ll be quietly humming the Operation American Spring Jingle, and wishing you’d been there, in Washington, DC, the day Bamz Was Booted from America.

the war on religious liberty (also, the speed on the outside)

Posted on May 14, 2014 by greg

Shhh…listen. Listen carefully. Can you hear that? No? No, of course you can’t. But that sound you don’t hear — it’s war, you guys. A silent war.

Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana

It’s so silent you probably didn’t know about it. So it’s a good thing Bobby Jindal, ~~pencil salesman~~ Republican Governor of Louisiana, whispered about it to a capacity crowd during his commencement address to the graduates of Liberty University. He told them:

“Today the American people, whether they know it or not, are mired in a silent war…. It is a war — a silent war — against religious liberty.”

Mired, you guys! You’d think if you were mired in something, you’d know it. But no! See, that’s how tricky a silent war is. We are SO mired in this totally Silent War Against Religious Liberty (SWARL).

Jeebus and random minorities in a boat in outer space

Jeebus, some white folks, and random minorities in a boat in outer space

Well, mostly silent. I mean, it’s not a War Against Religious Liberty in Space (where nobody can hear you scream). Every so often you can hear the SWARL squeak a little. A tiny squeak. Hardly noticeable. Like if, say, Jiminy Cricket had a sore throat. Teensy little squeak. But other than that,pretty much totally silent, this War on Religious Liberty.

Well, yeah, okay, there are people giving speeches about the SWARL. And they have demonstrations and protests. And sure, they wave signs and put up billboards. And open business meeting with prayers. Business meetings and Congress. And occasionally somebody will talk about SWARL on the radio. Or television. On one of the half-dozen non-commercial television networks exclusively devoted to Christian broadcasting.

But mostly, the WARL is S.

Jason and David Benham (allegedly not clones)

Just as in every war, there are innocent victims. The most recent victims of (S)WARL are the Benhams, ~~cloned from stormtrooper DNA in secret underground laboratories hidden beneath Liberty University~~ twin brothers who graduated from Liberty University. The Benhams (David and Jason — or maybe the other way around — who can tell, they’re fucking ~~clones~~ twins) were supposed to be the stars of a new show on the Home and Garden Television network.

But no! You guys, the network stopped production of the show. Why? Because the Benham brothers love Jeebus SO MUCH. We know they love Jeebus on account of they occasionally stand outside of mosques and shout “Jesus hates Muslims.” The Benham ~~clones~~ twins objected to the interfaith memorial service for the Sandy Hook shooting victims because it didn’t mention Jeebus enough — that’s how much they love Jeebus (hint: you cannot ever mention Jeebus enough). Also? Just like Jeebus, the Benhams love the gays. They just don’t think gays folks should get married. Or have jobs that allow them to come into contact with normal people. Or show any icky gay affection in public.

And because of how much they love Jeebus, the Benham brothers have been denied their First Amendment right to host a television show about flipping foreclosed houses. That’s tyranny. And discrimination against Christians. Also too? Bullying.

But those plucky Benham ~~clones~~ twins will not be bullied or silenced. No sir, they are warriors in the Silent War Against Religious Liberty. They will not be collateral damage in (S)WARL. They will continue to flip foreclosed houses for Jeebus, even if HGTV won’t let them do it on television. Their courage and conviction are evident in their motto:

If the speed on the outside is greater than the speed on the inside, the end is soon near.

I have no idea what that means. None at all. But I’m pretty sure Jeebus does.

the vivian maier problem

Posted on May 5, 2014 by greg

Everybody loves a mystery — and right there, that’s the beginning of the problem. Who is Vivian Maier? And everybody loves a success story — and there you have the middle of the problem. Vivian Maier is now famous, and the people who ‘discovered’ her have become important. And finally, everybody loves to see the high brought low — the tag end of the problem. Vivian Maier was just an amateur and the people who’ve made her famous are vultures picking off her bones.

I suspect everybody who pays attention to photography knows the basic outline of the Vivian Maier story. Photographer/local historian John Maloof attends an auction and buys a storage locker full of old photographic prints and negatives. The photos, which are quite striking, turn out to be the work of a reclusive nanny. Maloof publicizes the photos, the nanny is hailed as a naïve genius at street photography, a new star is created in the photographic firmament, the entire combustible photographic world is agog and everybody is completely charmed.

Predictably, the initial delight at the discovery is followed by the Vivian Maier backlash. This response seems to be driven in large measure by the extravagance of the early hype about Maier’s work, and is peppered with a large dose of cynicism.

“[I]t’s way too early to declare Vivian ‘great’ or to appraise her place or status in any way”

“Maier is a good enough photographer, I certainly don’t think she’s one of the greats”

“I can find no steady thread of consistency in her style”

“[S]omebody (or somebodies) smell an art gold mine with Maier’s work and are doing a fantastic job of building buzz that will pay off for them in the long run”

“[G]reatness and fame are two very different things”

“Maier can never be recognized (or collected) at the same level as, say, Winogrand, Arbus, or Frank mainly because she worked in utter isolation and influenced nothing in her time”

The backlash has been as bombastic as the hype. The result is two highly polarized camps; one of which believes Maier was a gifted but unschooled master of photography, and one which sees her at best a prolific but lucky amateur and at worst as a hack. Thanks to the Internet, those two camps formed with astonishing speed, and they’ve informed the Vivian Maier narrative so thoroughly that at this point it’s difficult for anybody to look at her work with an unjaundiced eye.

I was a quiet observer at the beginning of the Vivian Maier problem, before the hype. In October of 2009, John Maloof posted the following in a Flickr discussion forum:

I purchased a giant lot of negatives from a small auction house here in Chicago. It is the work of Vivian Maier, a French born photographer who recently past away in April of 2009 in Chicago, where she resided.

I have a ton of her work (about 30-40,000 negatives) which ranges in dates from the 1950’s-1970’s. I guess my question is, what do I do with this stuff? Check out the blog. Is this type of work worthy of exhibitions, a book? Or do bodies of work like this come up often?

Any direction would be great.

It’s clear Maloof believed the work was solid (though he was uncertain whether others would share his view). It’s equally clear the participants in the discussion largely agreed with him. It’s also obvious, though, that while Maloof was soon trying to promote the photography, he wasn’t making any exaggerated claims about Maier’s talent. He was genuinely intrigued by her work and her story.

It seems to me (and I’m sure other will disagree) that the hype didn’t originate with Maloof, though he was willing to feed it. So then, where did it come from?

I’m inclined to think it grew organically out of the situation. Vivian Maier really was a very odd woman. She really was an extremely talented photographer. She was almost certainly aware of what was going on in the world of photography, but it appears she really was essentially self-taught. Her photos and negatives really were a completely random, lucky find by John Maloof, who recognized he’d found something potentially extraordinary.

The situation sounds more like the plot of a novel or a screenplay than real life. Because of that, the narrative almost demands that Vivian Maier be an unrecognized genius or an over-promoted hack. It also requires that Maloof be either a savior who rescued her work or a villain who has taken advantage of another person’s talent. It has nothing to do with what actually happened; it has everything to do with what makes a better story.

In fact, it seems to me that the Vivian Maier Problem has relatively little to do with Vivian Maier or her photography. Rather, it’s grounded in the narrative imposed on her work by folks who spend their time thinking about photography (which isn’t a complaint, by the way; thinking about photography is a very fine thing to do — I do it myself).

I’ve spent some time over the last couple of weeks looking closely at the photographs in Maloof’s book Vivian Maier Street Photographer. Some of the photographs are unremarkable and a tad trite, even for the era in which they were shot. But others are absolutely stunning. Since the book was edited by Maloof (and, presumably, he also chose the photographs), there’s no way to tell if the photos are representative of Maier’s work or of Maloof’s editorial viewpoint.

In many ways, it doesn’t matter. There’s good work in the book. That’s what matters.

Does Vivian Maier deserve all the hype she’s received? No, of course not. She was not Mary Poppins with a Rolleiflex. She was not Cartier-Bresson in a dress and gloves. How could anybody possibly deserve all that hype?

But she deserves a great deal of it.

race or pancakes

Posted on April 24, 2014 by greg

Jeebus in a wheelbarrow, there’s no escaping this guy. Cliven Bundy, the freeloading Nevada rancher who rallied members of Y’all Qaeda to his freeloading ranch to protect the rights of freeloading white ranchers, made some disparaging and racist comments about freeloading Negroes. Quelle surprise!

Cliven Bundy (with a picture of white slave-owner George Washington in his pocket)

This, of course, is a shit-storm complication for all those conservatives who lionized Bundy as a hero. So this afternoon I poured myself a cuppa and poked my nose into FreeRepublic.com. I was curious how they’d react to Bundy’s racist comments.

You can always count on those folks to respond loudly and angrily to almost anything. And they didn’t disappoint. First, they questioned whether Bundy actually made the racist comments.

“There is zero evidence he said anything. This is the NYT on its own with no evidence to back up their ‘hearsay’ claiming he said it.”

“How stupid are American’s supposed to be in Liberals opinions?????? OVERHEARD????? We are just supposed to blindly believe government mouthpieces at the NY TIMES?”

“I want to hear the tape of Bundy making those statements. Then I want forensic experts to validate that the tape is indeed Bundy and is not just a mashup of sound bites using Bundy’s voice. And even then, I wouldn’t believe it.”

And then they heard the tape. And hey, you can hear it too. Fast forward to about the 17 minute mark, which is the point at which Bundy starts talking about ‘colored people’ and their freeloading ways.

http://bambuser.com/v/4549915

Liberty Freedom for God We Stand (and fuck punctuation in the neck).

So okay, maybe Bundy actually said what he was accused of saying. But c’mon, what really matters here — what Bundy said? Or the fact that Adam Nagourney, the New York Times reporter who wrote the article, is gay? Let’s take a guess which is more important on FreeRepublic:

“Nagoureny is a lying, mercenary scumbag.”

“Openly Gay Adam Nagourney of the NYTimes Crafts An Anti-Bundy Hitpiece”

“Fag.”

“He’s openly gay, so there’s no doubt he relished penning this hit-piece about the hated Christian rabble out West supporting Bundy. Nagourney is worse than a simple ‘deadbeat journalist’ – he’s a vicious mercenary who uses his talents to support a bullying, malevolent government/media complex.”

“Nice b*tchslap of the little fag b*tch Nagourney”

Obviously, it’s completely impossible to separate what Nagourney said from the fact that he’s gay. His gayosity obviously taints everything he says or writes. If Cliven Bundy was gay, you think so many patriots would rally to his defense? I’m just guessing here, but I think probably not.

But hey, Bundy is only a racist. So clearly you shouldn’t judge him based solely on his personal views:

“Bundy’s personal views on race or pancakes or anything else have NOTHING to do with this issue.”

“Makes you wonder if people can isolate this land issue from their personal feelings toward bundy. Should the man be destroyed based on this?”

“Bundy’s racism does not threaten anyone. Federal terrorism threatens us all.”

“Even if he did say it, he’s entitled to his opinion. That’s a First Amendment Right, right there.”

“People rallied to Bundy’s defense not because of him. I couldn’t care less if it was a member of the Black Panthers! The Fed are in the wrong. THEY have seized land they have no right to, and terrorized civilians. None of this is about Bundy! THE FEDS ARE TYRANNICAL!!!”

So yeah, even if Bundy IS a racist, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he should be allowed to graze his cattle on public land without paying the fees everybody else has to pay. Because of the tyranny.

But wait…hold on just a minute there cowboy. Was what Bundy said about Negroes actually racist? Was it really? Hell no, not according to many in FreeRepublicLand:

“What was Racist about it? That he was a White man pointing out the OBVIOUS problems in modern Black culture and the government as the root cause? ”

“[E]ven if he did say it, were blacks better off doing forced labor and raising intact families, or living in fatherless broken families, speaking a jargon worse than jive, and shooting/murdering each other on the streets of America like popcorn?”

“And what about the ones in prison? And there are a LOT of ‘em.”

Yeah! What about those Negroes freeloading off all those government benefits while in prison? Lazy bastards. It’s pretty obvious to Bundy’s supporters that Negroes were better off as slaves because slavery kept their families intact (you know, aside from when they were sold, but let’s not focus on details). Could forced labor be any more detrimental to a culture than speaking a jargon worse than jive AND murdering each other like popcorn. Just like popcorn!

And c’mon…was slavery all that bad? I mean, it got the slaves to America, didn’t it? Land of the Free? You’d think they’d be glad about that.

“Africa is a hell hole and maybe in comparison they would be glad they were brought here. I don’t know, I have never asked the question, I have just wondered it.”

“Slaves were actually rather expensive, and well taken care of—>in most cases<—, so one can say that in those circumstances, ‘they’ were better off than the current situation described by Bundy regards those sitting at the porch with nothing to do.”

Hard to argue with logic like that. If you bought a really good dog, you’d take good care of it, wouldn’t you. Sure you would. You’d feed it and give it a place to sleep and you’d never beat it (unless, you know it needed beating) or rape it (unless you’re a pervert). And if you rescued a dog from an animal shelter, wouldn’t the dog be better off? I’ve never asked the question; I’m just wondering.

“So how is living on the demorat plantation with food stamps, section 8 housing, WIC, SNAP, EIC, Obamacare, Obamaphones, affirmative action, or any of the other 77 welfare programs different than slavery when the recipient has no freedom other than to vote for the “Man” to keep living on the plantation?”

Yeah, how is that any different from slavery? I mean, you know, aside from the whipping and the rape and not having any rights at all. Negroes get food stamps now, which is exactly like slavery.

Somewhere the Ghost of Nat Turner is cheering (or screaming in horror)

And anyway, aren’t we all slaves now? (Hint: yes, we are.)

“Nothing wrong with his statement after all WE are ALL slaves NOW!!! The government damn near DICTATES every aspect of our lives and WE PAY them, their ENTIRE lifestyle and benefits are paid by us, I pretty much call that slavery!!!”

If you think about it, Cliven Bundy is like Nat Turner for white ranchers. He’s just rallying the slaves, resisting the oppression of white ranchers at the unfeeling hands of the arrogant, lawless, and illegitimate Federal government, which is fraudulently overseen by the communist Negro occupying the White House.

And people call him a racist….

don’t count your fleas before they burn the bridges

Posted on April 21, 2014 by greg

You guys! Remember the Usurpathon? Sure you do! Back in August of 2010 when ten thousand patriots (How many? 10,000!) gathered in Washington, District of Islam, in a ‘rolling revolution’ of Constitutional accountability…remember? Oh ‘cmon! How could you forget this:

Out from the depths, out of every seam on the sidewalk, from every neglected corner, from the ether we come–filled with the mission of thousands, and the intention of millions to begin the usurpathon–the siege and removal of the Obama administration. An advance force are we, bringing the warnings, the evidence, the constitutional strategies for stopping the illegal occupation of the White House.

Okay, so maybe there were fewer than ten thousand patriots. Okay, so maybe there were only, like, eighteen patriots. And okay, maybe they weren’t entirely successful at removing Barack ‘The Usurper’ Obama from the White House. But as Benjamin Franklin, the Father of Our Country, said on his deathbed, ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with breaking a few eggs before they hatch.’

But hey, you have to remember last autumn when one million truckers (How many? 1,000,000!) rallied in Washington, District of Benghazi, and not only shut down ALL of America, but also arrested Congress for not impeaching Baraq ‘Jihad Queen’ Obama. Remember? Sure you do!

Okay, maybe a million truckers didn’t actually show up — probably on account of being totally thwarted by Obama and the National Guard or Department of Transportation SWAT teams in another act of tyranny. Also? The homosexual media refused to cover the patriot truckers (all of whom were heterosexual for girls). So Congress didn’t get arrested and Obama the Tyrant managed to hang on to total control of the world.

It was disappointing, sure — but as Benjamin Franklin said in the Gettysburg Address, ‘You can’t make an omelet without sending a few snipers to threaten a Nevada rancher.’

But the good news? You guys, they’re totally doing it again! Operation American Spring! This is more exciting than Barry Manilow covering the Greatest Hits of Bobby Goldsboro! In just a few weeks patriots will convene in Washington, District of Aborted Christian Babies, to restore “Constitutional government, rule of law, freedom, liberty ‘of the people, for the people, by the people’ from despotic and tyrannical federal leadership.”

Despotic AND tyrannical, you guys! As many as ten million patriots (How many? 10,000,000!) will assemble in the Nation’s Capitol — but that’s not all.

One million or more of the assembled 10 million must be prepared to stay in D.C. as long as it takes to see Obama, Biden, Reid, McConnell, Boehner, Pelosi, and Attorney General Holder removed from office.

Prepared to stay, you guys! Those other revolutions? Total pussies. These patriots intend to occupy Washington (which is probably why they chose May for Operation American Spring — the weather’s pleasant and there are lots of cultural activities; they’ll be there sowing the seeds of revolution just in time for the Mount Vernon Wine Festival and Sunset Tour (bring a blanket!) and the National Asian Heritage Festival (everybody loves a street fair!)).That’s right — these patriots are going to DC and they’re not coming back until…well, that’s not exactly clear. It has something to do with ducks and fleas…

A duck cannot be turned into a fox; an elephant cannot be turned into a flea…The United States of America (elephant) while embracing the “LIE” is teetering on the abyss of becoming a sniveling, blood sucking, undesirable nation (flea).

Yeah, I don’t know either. But the important thing? Ten Million Patriots, you guys! Converging for freedoms and against tyranny, in opposition to undesirable fleas!

So check your calendars; keep May 16th open, because it’ll be a big news day. Unless the lamestream NancyBoy news media refuses to cover it, which c’mon, they totally won’t cover it. But you’ll want to tell your grandchildren you were there (or watching on television) when we took back America from the Islamic Fleas of Tyranny!

As Benjamin Franklin said, ‘An undesirable flea in the hand is worth two burning bridges in Madison County.’ Truer words were never spoke. Benghazi.

supersaturated stupidity

Posted on April 18, 2014 by greg

I thought we might have reached the saturation point in the Bundy Ranch Fuss. You know — the maximum capacity of stupid. A point at which the situation was so deeply and profoundly stupid that it couldn’t hold even one more drop of stupidity.

I thought we’d reached that point. I hadn’t counted on two things. First, the surface tension of stupidity — that quality that allows stupidity to resist external forces, in much the same way an amount of water can slightly exceed the capacity of the glass containing it. Surface tension means you can usually add a little more stupid to an existing container of stupid. Second, I hadn’t taken into account the supersaturation capabilities of Congressman Steve Stockman (Republican, of course — from Texas, of course). Stockman’s highly concentrated stupidity (which has been measured at .92 Gohmerts) allows him to exceed normal stupidity levels. Introducing Stockman into an already stupid situation can dramatically increase the overall volume of stupidity.

Congressman Steve Stockman (R-TX, natch) voicing his considered opinions.

After the Sandy Hook massacre, you may remember, Stockman called President Obama’s proposed changes to gun safety “an existential threat to this nation” that he would “seek to thwart…by any means necessary.” And he did that before Obama even made those proposals. And it was Stockman who invited draft-dodging pedophile Ted Nugent — who Stockman considers to be “a patriot” — to the State of the Union speech. Stockman has claimed that the siege at Waco in 1993 was orchestrated by President Clinton in “to prove the need for a ban on so-called assault weapons.”

The list of Stockman’s assault on intelligent behavior is long and colorful — too long to include here (but wait, just one more: Stockman once tweeted ‘If babies had guns, they wouldn’t be aborted’ and no, I’m not making that up). Because he’s such a dunderhead, I suppose it’s not such a surprise that he inserted himself into the Bundy Ranch Fuss. What did he do?

He wrote a letter to President Obama, Interior Secretary Sally Jewell, and BLM Director Neil Kornze saying:

Because of this standoff, I have looked into BLM’s authority to conduct such paramilitary raids against American citizens, and it appears that BLM is acting in a lawless manner in Nevada…. [T]he federal government must not only stand down, but remove all federal personnel from anywhere near the Bundy ranch…. [BLM has no] right to assume preemptory police powers, that role being reserved to the States.

Stockman (and this may be the only time I’ve ever uttered these words) is absolutely correct. The BLM doesn’t have authority to conduct paramilitary raids against American citizens. However, they do have authority to protect the public lands under BLM management and to enforce the law on BLM property. Which is exactly what they did.

Peaceful Bundy supporters peaceably demonstrating their peaceful disagreement with BLM.

Stockman’s understanding of the situation, of course, is an echo of the stupid shit we’re hearing from the so-called ‘patriots’ of the militia movement. Sadly, when it’s repeated by a sitting Member of Congress — even a nitwit like Stockman — it reinforces the idiocy. For example:

[T]he BLM had no business being armed up like the military in the first place nor did they have any business making an incursion into the State of Nevada. The whole thing was unbelievable. And they wonder why the militia showed up. I said there was a reason why you were not seeing the FBI and the US Marshals.

The fact (and yeah, I realize how useless it is to point out facts to these folks) is that BLM maintains an Office of Law Enforcement & Security specifically to deal with criminal behavior on Federal lands under BLM management (as opposed to US Parks, which has their own security officers). The reason the FBI and the US Marshal Service didn’t show up is because they don’t have jurisdiction. It’s not a conspiracy.

STEVE STOCKMAN KNOWS that Obama is an illegal alien terrorist. He’s been working closely with Arpaio/Zullo on Obama Fraud Investigation.

Well. Yeah. Facts and logic are pretty useless against somebody who claims (and may actually believe) the President of These United States is an illegal alien terrorist.

The Rancher needs to Sue the BLM for violating his Constitutional rights and abuse of authority under the color of law and so should anyone there that was moved, tasked or ordered to do anything by them!

Lawdy. This shouldn’t need to be pointed out, but dude there is NO Constitutional right to graze your cattle on public land. You are making the common conservative error of confusing Things I Do Not Like with Things That Are Unconstitutional.

[W]ho is really calling the shots here??? Who gave the order for the BLM to go in as they did is still not clear. I’d like to know ‘who’ ordered it.

Bonus points for having three (3!) question marks to show how sincerely confused you are. Who really gave the order? That would be any number of Federal judges over the last twenty years, all of whom have consistently ruled that Bundy was illegally grazing his cattle on public land. The most recent order, by Judge Lloyd George was issued on 9 July, 2013. The order states:

Bundy shall remove his livestock from the New Trespass Lands within 45 days of the date hereof, and that the United States is entitled to seize and remove to impound any of Bundy’s cattle that remain in trespass after 45 days of the date hereof.

So after giving Bundy two decades to stop trespassing on public land, and giving him a further 45 days to comply, the BLM gave him eight more months before finally moving in the enforce the order first given 20 years ago. You know, even a flatworm is capable of learning more efficiently than Bundy.

A quick background as to why the BLM should not be harassing Cliven Bundy. This issue goes all the way back to the Confederation Papers, prior to the writing of our US Constitution.

Jeebus on a tortilla, seriously? Did you stop to think the Articles of Confederation no longer apply? (Here’s a hint: they don’t.) Did you ever consider that the US Constitution replaced the Articles of Confederation? (Here’s a hint: they did.)

Why are not Senators and US Representative asking for the immediate resignation of the Reids (Harry and his son from the BLM). With the resignation denial of pension and lifetime medical care. make the criminals pay. I know I may be deluded, but the US Congress critters need to stand up once and for all.

Yes, you are deluded. Neither Senator Harry Reid nor his son can resign from BLM because neither of them are employed by BLM. There is a flaw in your reasoning.

There’s some minimal comfort in the knowledge that Steve Stockman will no longer be a Member of Congress as of January 2015 (though I’m sure Republicans in Texas are actively seeking somebody equally stupid to replace him). There’s not much comfort, though, in knowing that neither Bundy nor his supporters have any respect for public lands or any understanding of the law governing those lands.

It’s really pretty simple. Does Bundy own the land on which his cattle are grazing? No. Has he ever owned that land? No. Can he use that land to graze his cattle if he pays the allotment fee? Yes. Has he ever paid the allotment fees? Yes, in the past. Has he paid his allotment fee? No, not for twenty years. Is he trespassing on public land? Yes. Is he aware he’s trespassing? Yes. Is Cliven Bundy leeching of the American people? Yes. Yes, absolutely yes.

Is this stupidity over? Sadly, no.

gregfallis.com

it's this or get a real job