Category Archives: stupid fucking people

you hear that, mr. trump? that is the sound of inevitability.

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10

Two people I’d rather not ever think about for the rest of my life? Comrade Donald Trump and the late Jeffrey Epstein. But here we are.

I suppose it was inevitable. I mean, in a lot of ways MAGA is the bastard child of QAnon and the Westboro Baptist Church. We’re talking about people who’ve devoted a seriously big chunk of their daily lives to thinking about sexualized anti-government conspiracies. People who’ve built complex, contradictory theories about political figures (mostly Democrats) and Hollywood elites maintaining a series of subterranean facilities where kidnapped children would be raped and then murdered for their adrenochrome. People who claim to believe trans folks are lined up outside high school bathrooms and locker rooms so they can sexually assault girls. People who spend a LOT of time thinking about forced sex with kids.

So yeah, the ‘suspicious’ death of Jeffrey Epstein is chum in the water for MAGA. When Trump’s pre-election team promised to expose the “truth” about Epstein, MAGA ate it up with a spoon. They absolutely believe Epstein was murdered because he possessed sexually compromising material on powerful figures–a so-called ‘client list’. When asked about that list, Attorney General Pam Bondi said, “It’s sitting on my desk right now to review.”

Then on Friday evening–the 4th of July holiday weekend–Bondi quietly announced, “Hey gang, guess what, there IS no client list! Oopsie! Also? Epstein killed himself! So case closed! How about those Red Sox, huh?!”

MAGA was not amused. You spend years spreading chum in the water, you expect to catch a shark. Being told there IS no shark doesn’t go over well. And given Trump’s long, close relationship with Epstein, it was inevitable that things would get weird and nasty.

But nasty enough to get MAGA to turn on Mr. MAGA his ownself?

I was curious enough that I looked into one of the MAGA-most corners of the Intertubes. I used to check in on the ‘patriots’ of FreeRepublic on a semi-regular basis, just to have some idea of how their fevered right-wing brains work. Snce the re-election of Comrade Trump, I haven’t had the stomach for it.

Until yesterday. And reader, the MAGAverse is absolutely furious. Furious not just at Bondi for her clumsy bait-and-switch approach, but also at their boy Trump. Here are a few of the comments made on FreeRepublic:

I woke up this morning with the realization that the only explanation for this is that Trump is on the list. Nothing else makes sense. This is like Watergate. It will never go away, and it will lead to Trump’s resignation.
–by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats are the Party of racism, anger, hate and violence.)

Something very big is being covered up.
–by Highest Authority (DemonRats are pure EVIL)

Let’s face it: Pam Bondi is doing just what Trump wants her to do.
–by hcmama

I think we all need to wake up to the real possibility he’s on that list.
–by Lil Flower (American by birth. Southern by the Grace of God. ROLL TIDE!!)

Looks pretty suspicious to go from “The List is ON My Desk Right Now” to “The List Doesn’t Exist.” Someone intervened that has the power to stop the list from being released by the Attorney General of the United States.
–by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolutioan?)

This decision is way past bondi’s pay grade. This is Trump. Period.
by USS Alaska (NUKE THE MOOSELIMB TERRORIST SAVAGES)

When you see a Freeper who signs his posts with ‘Nuke the Mooselimb Terrorist Savages’ turn on Trump, you know they’re serious. Not necessarily sane, but serious. The reality that their Golden Boy might be on the List of Epstein Kiddie Diddlers (if one actually exists) has to be massively discouraging for them. One way of dealing with that is to create NEW conspiracy theories to explain it. For example, there’s a contingent of Freepers who’ve decided to blame…guess who? That’s right; the Jews.

Ask Israel. They control The Stable Genius…
by Captainpaintball (America needs a Conservative DICTATOR if it hopes to survive. )

Everybody knows Trump and Bibi Netanyahu are BFFs. Combine that with the suggestion that Epstein was some sort of FBI/CIA/Mossad agent, and you’ve got another tasty conspiracy to dine on. But even better (and by ‘better’ I mean ‘more delusional’) are the Freepers who see all of this as part of Trump’s Super Secret Clever Plan to Thump the Democrats.

I think it’s POSSIBLE that genius Trump is making this too big to go away by showing a coverup. When the truth is released…we will get suicide after suicide with DimWITS and RINOs leading the way.
by politicianslie

My conspiracy theory. The Epstein files contain information that can bring down 0bama, Clinton, Clapper, Comey, Brennan… That is why they have to sit on the Epstein files
by Steven Tyler

Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it. Trump promises to release the Epstein Files to get people excited, then claims the files don’t exists, which gets people even more excited. Eventually all that excitement will reach the boiling point and then Trump will hold a press conference and reveal…Hey Presto! The files DO exist! And they implicate ALL of Trump’s enemies! Genius! Applause and fireworks! A chorus of angels sing as the anti-MAGA deviants are led away to concentration camps in Sudan!

Jesus suffering fuck, dealing with MAGA is exhausting. I need a drink.

but that’s not the real problem

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6

As you may recall, recently Comrade Donald Trump, as Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces, made this claim on national television:

“Iran’s key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated.”

Yeah, no. Didn’t happen. Just another in the endless series of Trump’s self-aggrandizing lies. The Defense Intelligence Agency conducted a preliminary Bomb Damage Assessment of the US attack (that’s right, the DIA did a BDA) and assessed that the damage at the primary Fordo site was “not extensive.” Certainly, the site was not obliterated like Trump claimed. But that’s not the real problem.

This morning the Unlikeliest Secretary of Defense Ever, Pete Hegseth, complained about the news coverage of Comrade Trump’s pointless attack on Iran’s nuclear facilities. Hegseth claimed that reports detailing the limited damage done by the bombing was, in effect, an attack on the integrity and honor of the pilots and air crew who flew the mission. Which, obv. is total bullshit. Which, again, is in keeping with almost everything Hegseth says. But that’s not the real problem.

GBU-57 Massive Ordnance Penetrator

It’s been reliably reported that at the primary uraniam enrichment site at Fordo, two of the so-called ‘bunker buster’ bombs (okay, technically they’re called ‘Massive Ordnance Penetrators’ or MOPs) were dropped on the entry point to the facility and on a ventilation shaft, one after the other, to increase the level of destruction. The destruction that, you’ll recall, the DIA described as “not extensive.” Which means the MOPs didn’t do what they were intended to do. But that’s not the real problem.

Here’s the real problem: for a couple of decades, the threat of the ‘bunker buster’ gave the US leverage. Hostile nations, fearful of the power of that specific bomb, were reluctant to test the US resolve. If a nation started to build a highly secure underground facility against the wishes of the US, the US would dangle the ‘bunker buster’ and that was generally enough to dissuade them. The threat of the ‘bunker busters’ was enough to cow most of our adversaries.

They were incredibly effective as a deterrent…as long as we didn’t actually USE them.

Not anymore. Now everybody knows the most fearsome conventional high explosive bomb in the US arsenal can’t do what it was designed to do. You know North Korea is digging deep today.

Trump has once again made the US weaker. Nothing he can say or do—nothing Hegseth or any of Trump’s other sock puppets can say or do—can change the reality. Oh, the ‘bunker buster’ is still a formidable conventional weapon. But now the world knows it’s just another really big bomb, and if you dig deep enough it won’t hurt you.

this guy?

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10

Okay, first off, I admit I’m confused. I mean, I understand that Donald Trump, with the assistance of a cadre of feral Christo-fascist authoritarians and the support of a cartoonist collection of buffoons, is conducting an aggressive frontal assault on the US Constitution. And so far it’s been mostly effective.

Unlike a LOT of folks, I’m inclined to think Trump has a plan. It’s a very simple, very very stupid, and very selfish plan, to be sure. It’s the sort of plan you’d expect from a cartoon villain. But it’s still a plan. As I see it, Donald Trump’s plan is as follows:

Make everybody dependent on the whims and wishes of Donald Trump.

It’s ridiculous, isn’t it. What Trump really wants, of course, is loyalty and respect. Two things he’ll never get. He’ll never get the respect he wants (and thinks he deserves), and I suspect he knows that. Nor will he ever get real loyalty, because loyalty is reciprocal; you earn loyalty by being loyal to others. Trump is loyal to nothing and nobody. Who’s going to respect of be loyal to this guy?

Since he can’t/won’t get the respect and loyalty he truly wants, Trump has to settle for a shabby substitute–unquestioned obedience. The problem for Trump, even as POTUS, is that there are HUGE intentional limits to presidential obedience in a representative democracy.

The president’s actual job is to preside over the government, not to rule it. ‘Preside’ literally means “to sit in front of.” The president is basically like an orchestra leader. In order for Trump to command unquestioned obedience, he has to first weaken or destroy the Constitutional constraints on presidential power.

That’s exactly what he’s doing. In his first term, Trump converted the entire Republican Party to so-called MAGA loyalists (I say ‘so-called’ because many/most of the GOP are just sycophantic cowards or craven opportunists, not actual loyalists). He also stacked the Supreme court with ‘loyalists’. The only check on his authority came from the professionals who occupied the Cabinet posts and the various governmental agencies. Now, in his second term, he’s replaced the Cabinet secretaries and the heads of every government agency with more so-called loyalists. He’s basically removed or degraded almost every federal administrative constraint on his authority (there are still some federal judges who remain independent, though they’re under attack now).

This guy? Powerful politicians and institutions are afraid of this guy? This fucking guy?

There are a few other social constraints that can challenge the president: independent law firms, universities, business interests, and independent news sources. Trump is making every effort to hobble or undermine them, threatening retaliation either in the form of investigations or by removing federal financial aid and federal contracts. In order to avoid this sort of persecution, these social institutions are being required to appeal to Trump personally. To humiliate themselves by publicly kissing his ring. You want to avoid tariffs on products you need? Humbly ask Trump to remove them for YOUR company. You want federal financial aid for teaching or research? Humbly ask Trump to restore the funding he denied. You want to practice law or receive federal contracts? Humbly ask Trump to overlook any earlier opposition and publicly promise to support him. You want access to the Trump administration as a news source? Humbly agree to refer to the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. What kind of person or institution would humble themselves before this guy?

But hey, it’s working. Some large law firms and some universities have already compromised themselves; many news agencies have modified their coverage of Trump and are parroting his bullshit; a lot of businesses threatened by Trump’s trade practices are considering personal appeals to Trump and praising his harmful policies. Intimidation works. But c’mon, how could anybody be intimidated by this guy?

I find truly astonishing that so many people and institutions are afraid of this guy. He’s a cartoonish nitwit; he’s more a malignant Elmer Fudd than an evil genius. The sheer mass of his ignorance could bend light. He’s ten pounds of racist bullshit in a five pound bag. He’s a coward and a liar. People are afraid of taking on this guy?

This guy?

we lost; bullshit won

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8

There it is. We lost. I’m not talking about Democrats, or progressives, or any particular political ideology. I’m not talking about the fact that the US has deliberately and with malice aforethought re-elected the most corrupt, ignorant, vindictive, cruel asshole who’s ever held high political office. That’s awful and horrific and it means this nation will suffer mightily and may never fully recover.

But I’m not talking about politics here. The 2024 election is, I think, just a symptom of a far greater defeat. When I say ‘we lost,’ I’m talking about thoughtful people. People who believe in science, in facts, in rationality. People who believe in critical thinking, who are capable of clear-headed skepticism. We lost.

We lost the fight against superstition and pseudo-science. We lost the war between reality and belief. We lost the war between law and disorder. We lost the war between awareness and ignorance. We lost the war between magical fantasy and empirical evidence.

Objective reality lost. Bullshit won.

Fox News won. Alternative facts won. Thoughts and prayers won. Ivermectin won. UFOs won. Crop circles won. Oak Island won. Bigfoot won. The Templars won. Magical thinking won. Apophenia won. The White Queen won (“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”).

It’s not just that science is under attack–you can fight back against an attack; it’s that science had been summarily dismissed as unworthy of consideration. People would rather invest themselves in exploring how Rosicrucians worked with Mayan shamans to bury Viking gold in a South Carolina swamp where ley lines between pyramids in Egypt, Mexico, and the Cahokia Mounds in Collinsville, Illinois meet than try to understand the scientific method.

The very notion of verifiable Truth has collapsed in on itself. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Nope, not anymore. Who are you going to believe, the Bible or Donald Trump? Keep your Truth; we have opinions. Sure, our opinions may be based on the momentary whim of a malignant narcissist, but we have the right to hold fast to our opinions.

We lost and we are seriously fucked. Donald Trump and his Nazgûl Collective will do catastrophic damage to the US and the world at large. But sadly, he could just be the worst symptom of a larger problem. Are we on the brink of a new Dark Age? I don’t know. Maybe. We could ask the question and shake the Magic 8 Ball, but I’m afraid the answer will likely be, “Reply hazy, try again.”

undecided? c’mon.

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6

A couple of days ago there was a headline in the Philadelphia Enquirer stating “About 3% of Pennsylvania voters are still undecided.” As of October 23 of this year, there are 8,646,572 registered voters in Pennsylvania. That’s 3,897,179 Democrats, 3,451,289 Republicans, and 1,298,104 independent and third party voters. Three percent would be 259,397 undecided voters. A quarter of a million Pennsylvanian claim they just can’t make up their minds. “Harris or Trump…man, I just don’t know.”

I’m inclined to think the headline should have read ‘About 3% of Pennsylvania voters are either lying sacks of shit OR completely fuckwitted chumps.’ The liars, of course, are Trump supporters who don’t want to acknowledge out loud that they’re racist, misogynistic assholes. And really, I don’t blame them. The completely fuckwitted chumps are just that—chumps who are completely fuckwitted.

(Okay, short etymological tangent. The origin of chump is uncertain, but it’s thought to probably be a mash-up of stump, chunk, and lump—all of which at some point referenced a short, thick piece of wood in Old English, Danish, and Middle High German. In other words, a blockhead.)

There has never, in the entire long, ugly, weird history of these United States, been a more vividly clear difference between two presidential candidates. Never. About the only thing they have in common is they both walk upright on two feet (although Trump’s posture calls that into question). Comparing Harris and Trump is like comparing apples and maybe some sort of foot fungus. I could make a list (an incredibly long list) of the differences between them, but unless you’re on the Editorial Board of the Washington Post, you already know most of those differences. And unlike WaPo’s Editorial Board, you know why they’re important.

My point, if you can call it that, is that it seems highly improbable that 3% of the voters in Pennsylvania are truly undecided. The reality is you’ve got some Trump supporters who are either afraid of confessing their support or who’d like to get a little bit of attention, so are lying about their position. And you’ve got some people who simply don’t care about anything outside of their own personal interests and who probably can’t be bothered to vote anyway.

This election won’t turn on convincing ‘undecided’ voters to become ‘decided’ voters. It’ll turn on 1) getting people to the polls and 2) making sure the people in charge of counting the votes and certifying the results do their job. Trump can’t win the popular vote. He probably can’t win the electoral vote. But he’s put a LOT of money and effort into ratfucking the certification process.

I’m confident Harris will win the election. I’m not as confident she’ll become president.

i should know better

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6

It’s been a while since I’ve held my breath and visited the mephitic swamp that’s FreeRepublic. But I was curious to see how Freepers would react to Comrade Trump’s massive fine for committing fraud in New York State.

I mean, I knew, of course, that they’d be outraged. They’re always outraged about something. What I was curious about was the direction their outrage would take. Generally, Freeper outrage falls into one (or more) of five categories. 1) They’re picking on Trump unfairly, 2) Trump is too big/powerful/strong/manly to be bothered by being nibbled on by ducks, 3) Trump will have his revenge, 4) It’s a Deep State conspiracy, or 5) Blame it on women, black folks, pedophiles/perverts, communists, Satanists, etc.

To my disappointment, not one Freeper mentioned Satan. However, they almost universally agreed Trump was being victimized unfairly. Here are a few folks who figured Trump will just shrug off a half a billion in fines:

Trump could easily take out a loan against Mara-Lago since it is valued at over a billion dollars.
by Newbomb Turk

He just made $4 billion in his truth social tech stock today, I’m sure this verdict had nothing to do with it. I’m sure his poll numbers ascended as well.
by FrdmLvr

Of course it will be dismissed. Trump isn’t going to pay a dime.
by Georgia Girl 2

But even if Trump could easily pay off those unfair fines, Freepers agree that Trump himself is absolutely blameless. He’s being targeted by people who hate him because of reasons (they’re not MAGA, they’re black, they’re overweight, they’re stupid, they’re perverts, they’re sadists, they’re less than human).

once this is appealed to a NON-DEMOCRAT court, it will be tossed out like the garbage it is.
by ThePatriotsFlag

Since a lot of horrible people are in positions of authority based on Kolor, kink, and Kin…and not on merit–we need a law stating government officials can not read statements written by others–or by themselves.
A half page of notes can be allowed.
It was sickening listen to that idiot Letitia James read a statement written by someone else that made her sound intelligent. Well, kind of intelligent considering what she was saying wasn’t rational.
by GOPJ

[They think the verdict] will make they women wet and the men wishing they could get hard. They love the idea of an “enemy” suffering greatly. There are tens of millions of them. Their sadists who would be thrilled to watch any one of us tortured to death. Does anyone here really want to share the nation with these animals?
by Wpin

But obviously, there’s a shady cabal behind all of Trump’s misfortunes. It’s simply not possible that Trump himself could be to blame.

New York is just the means to an end. Obama is behind all of this.
by Daveinyork

Good chance they’ll put Trump in jail and kill him.
by sopo

Regardless, Trump will eventually triumph. He’ll have his revenge. True American Patriots will stand up in numbers too big to ignore and fight for him. They’ll make those bastards pay.

Heard PISSED OFF Truckers for Trump are starting a boycott of deliveries to NYC. They started with 10 a few hours ago and now they’re up to 20 committed. It’s spreading! GO TRUCKERS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!
by RoseofTexas

Trump will have the judge arrested. Problem solved.
by nonliberal

We are about at the point where these lawless monsters be openly defied. We are entering second amendment territory. These are no longer legitimate courts. Once the legitimacy of the courts goes down and anybody that the powers that be want to throw into jail can be done so…it’s over….and it’s on….
by TalBlack

There you go. Truckers will starve Manhattan. Judge Engoron will be jailed. There will be Second Amendment solutions for Trump’s enemies.

There are reasons I rarely visit FreeRepublic these days. It’s not the consistent vitriol and ugliness that keeps me away, though that plays a part. And it’s not because of the level of ignorance and stupidity in their comments. I avoid FreeRepublic because visiting the site tends to make me react to its followers in much the same way they react to everybody else.

I become judgmental. I mock them. I feel a certain amount of disgust for them. I see them as uninformed backward rubes. Because there’s no way an intelligent, thoughtful person can believe Barack Obama orchestrated Trump’s fraud trial, or that a group of truck drivers will punish NYC, or that Trump is in any way a patriot. I read their comments and I think, “You hateful, pathetic, fuckwitted suckers.”

I dislike feeling that way about other people. I want to feel compassion for people who are so oblivious and gullible. I used to be able to do that. Now, not so much. I don’t visit FreeRepublic very often because I find their hate and bitterness and disregard for others is infectious. And I’m gradually losing my resistance to it.

EDITORIAL NOTE: This is a good time to remind everybody that we need to burn the patriarchy to the ground. We need to douse that poisonous plant with kerosene and set fire to it. We need to gather its ashes, piss on them, drop napalm on them and burn them again. Burn the patriarchy, then drive a stake directly through the ashes where its heart used to be, and then set fire to the stake. Burn the fucker one more time. And keep burning it, over and over. Burn it for generations. Then read a good book.

better than trump

Posted on by
11

There are days when I’ll do almost anything to avoid doing the stuff I know I should be doing. I’m telling you this to explain why I decided to once again visit the fever swamps of FreeRepublic. I used to do this once a week in order to have some idea what current topic had enraged extreme right-wing nutjobs. Over time, however, I found it increasingly difficult to stomach the irrational hate. Now I peek in on FreeRepublic many once a month. Maybe.

This morning there was a lot of…oh, let’s call it ‘discussion’ about an editorial in the NY Post. The editorial (and no, I’m not going to provide a link to it) was entitled:

Biden is a disaster — which is why we need someone better than Trump to beat him.

I figured that whole ‘someone better than Trump’ bit would get a lot of Freep readers up on their hind legs. And I was right. Here’s a representative sample of comments:

  • Trump or no one.
    by kenmcg
  • If Trump isn’t the nominee, there is no GOP.
    by anton
  • “January 6 was a national travesty…”
    No, it wasn’t. It was just a start on righting the egregious theft of an election.
    by Fester Chugabrew
  • I’ll write in Trump if I have to. No one else.
    by ClearCase_guy
  • Trump neither tried to overturn the stolen election nor did he take any classified documents.
    by escapefromboston
  • January 6 was a national travesty, and [Trump] is to blame for it.
    What happened at the capitol on Jan 6 was orchestrated and executed by the leftist deep-state FBI. The only thing Trump has to do with it is that deep state idiots like you are trying to blame him.
    by nagant
  • I am not voting Republican.
    I am voting Trump.
    by aMorePerfectUnion
  • “Trump tried to overturn an election” – what BS. The election was STOLEN from him…Biden overturned an election and got away with it with help from people like Murdoch,
    “He took classified documents”. Do they really think we’re so uneducated that we don’t know about the Presidential Records Act and the fact that Trump along with previous POTUS as well as FJB, and apparently even Pence kept records – the last 2 who weren’t even POTUS?
    What a bunch of CRAP!
    by Aria
  • Such ignorance. If there were one better than Trump, Trump would not be leading the field.
    by Lou Foxwell
  • EVIL women will vote to KILL MORE BABIES BEFORE they would vote for someone who will make it cheaper to feed the ones they don’t kill!
    by Ann Archy
  • Other than DJT Repubs want to act nice and follow the rules. We need to Annihilate the dems. The are worthy of the death they want to impose on others.
    by Singermom
  • I’ll just write Trump in, go Independent or just stay home.
    I long since have had it these lying phony Republicans and their fraudulent charade. They’ve hoodwinked millions.
    And whatever happens, when the Trump era comes to an end, so will the Republican party.
    by dragnet2
(Illustration by Émile-Antoine Bayard)

These people have drunk deep from the Trump potion; they’ve become spider-brained. They are somehow convinced–absolutely certain–that everybody but Trump is corrupt. They are completely confident that the only thing keeping Trump from being a phenomenally successful president is a global conspiracy involving every national and international security agency, all of whom are coordinating to…do something…in order to prevent Trump from…also something.

But I’m inclined to agree with dragnet2. When the Trump era ends, so will the Republican Party. In fact, I’m inclined to argue there IS NO Republican Party anymore, and hasn’t been since Trump was first nominated to run for president. There is no general ideological center; no commonly agreed-upon political principle, no unifying doctrine. There is only Trump.

Editorial Note: A reminder that we need to destroy the patriarchy. Smash it into a thousand pieces, then gather those pieces and set them on fire. Sweep up the ashes, dump them in a pit, piss on them, then bury it all. Cover the pit with asphalt, cover the asphalt with concrete, on which we should build a library. A privately-owned library that’s open to the entire public, so nobody can ban any books. A library with a coffee shop.

in a small town

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10

I wouldn’t know Jason Aldean from Adam’s off ox, but he’s stirred up a fuss with his song Try That in a Small Town. I say ‘his song’ as if Aldean wrote it. He didn’t. The song was actually written by four guys: Kelley Lovelace, Kurt Allison, Neil Thrasher, and Tully Kennedy. Aldean just recorded the song.

Anyway, I listened to it. I sort of assumed it would be a traditional country-western song. You know…simple form, folksy lyrics, standard country music instruments (like fiddles or banjos or a steel guitar). But it’s not. Musically, it’s rock. Fairly hard rock at that. But the lyrics are sung in a sort of semi-traditional nasal country voice. Like a lot of country music, though, it’s short. Three minutes. Which is plenty long enough.

It’s the lyrics, of course, that make this song controversial. The lyrics were clearly intended to be controversial. The lyrics were meant to make everybody angry–to get folks to argue about it. It’s not so much a song as it is a musical grift. Get folks pissed off, keep the song in the public eye, put some coin in pockets.

It’s basically a cartoonish MAGA anthem made up of racist right-wing nightmares, faux tough guy attitude, hollow patriotism, all backed up with threats of violence. It’s a classic MAGA conglomeration of self-pity, masculine insecurity, misogyny, and free-floating resentment and rage. It’s a song written by assholes, recorded by an asshole, meant to be consumed by assholes.

Seriously, it would be comical if it weren’t so stupidly hateful and transparently phony. Try This in a Small Town is the musical version of a dentist buying a Harley and wearing leathers. It’s a mall security guard who joins a ‘militia’ and wears camo with his ‘warrior’ buddies on weekends. It’s the appliance store assistant manager who believes he was passed over for promotion because he’s white and male.

Try that in a small town
See how far ya make it down the road
Around here, we take care of our own

That’s the ugly heart of the song, right there. We take care of our own. If you’re not one of our own, you don’t belong and you’d best get the fuck out of town.

And hey, people have done just that. Folks who don’t fit in their small hometowns have always packed up and left. That’s one of the main reasons small towns are failing. The kids who are bored have left. The creative people have left. The curious people have left. The people who ask too many questions, they’ve left to find answers. And most of them don’t come back.

I recommend you don’t
Try that in a small town
Full of good ol’ boys, raised up right
If you’re looking for a fight
Try that in a small town

The ONLY people looking for a fight in a small town are the ones who are so absolutely certain they’re right; the ones who get to define ‘our own’. If you’re in the minority, you’re looking to avoid a fight. You know you’re not welcome, you know you’re outnumbered, and you know there are folks in your community who hate you and are actually eager to kick the everloving shit out of you. So you leave the first fucking chance you get.

And hey, that’s what happens. The people who don’t fit in, they leave. The young leave. The creative people leave. The curious people leave. The people who get bored leave. The people who want more from life, they leave. The people who want to try new things, they have to leave. The people who write songs, they leave.

There are actually a LOT of good songs about small towns. Songs that aren’t specifically designed for rage-grifting. Songs in almost every musical genre. Songs that look realistically and honestly at life in small towns. Some of them are celebratory, some are nostalgic, most of them are sad.

And over a double Bourbon
He said “I’ll tell you man to man,
This town died forty years ago.
Son, get out while you can.”

You want to know about life in small towns? Don’t look to assholes like Jason Aldean.