shandy

Last week, rather against my will, I drank a shandy — a Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy, to be specific. I’ve never liked the notion of a shandy. In the constellation of flavors, beer and lemonade seems a particularly perverse pairing. But again, last week, in an effort to be polite, I drank a shandy.

And I liked it.

shandyIt’s the fault of a Bavarian named Franz Xaver Kugler — a former railway worker who, for some unknown reason, decided to give up the rails and try his hand at innkeeping. In the early part of the 20th century, Herr Kugler opened a small establishment called the Kugleralm in the village of Deisenhofen, a few miles outside Munich. He appears to have been something of an innovator. Some of his innovations worked, some didn’t. For example, Kugler was an early adopter of a clear lemon soda, buying several thousand bottles, thinking it would be popular among the railway workers. It wasn’t. Those bottles ended up gathering dust and cobwebs in the Kugleralm cellar.

Kugler was more successful in his attempt to cash in on the bicycle craze which swept through post-World War I Germany. He helped create a bicycle path that ran through the forest, from Munich to Deisenhofen (and which, conveniently, passed directly by his inn). Herr Kugler hadn’t counted on the trail being quite so popular, however, and one summer afternoon in 1922 he found himself running short on beer. Out of desperation, he began to mix the beer with the unsellable lemon soda he had stored in his cellar.

The new concoction was different, it was refreshing, it lowered the beer’s alcohol content to the degree that cyclists could drink their fill and not fret about being able to ride without tipping over. Kugler the innovator decided to call the new drink Radlermass (radler meaning ‘cyclist’ in German).

There are LOTS of regional variations on the drink, each with its own regional name, but they’re all basically beer mixed with something like lemonade — which, to my ear, still sounds absolutely horrid. But what can I say? Now there’s a six-pack of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy sitting in the refrigerator (well, to be honest, by now it’s only a two-pack).

I know tap-heads will recoil in horror. Let them. I am (mostly) unashamed. A shandy may not be cool, but it’s cooling, and it’s pleasant to sit outside on a hot afternoon after a bike ride and read a good book and sip on a bottle of good Herr Kugler’s desperate drink. It was made for bicyclists, after all.

defending asshole rights

This is Barry West. He’s one of the County Commissioners of Coffee County, Tennessee. He’s also an asshole. He may or may not be a racist — I don’t know. But he’s most definitely an asshole.

Coffee County Commissioner Barry West (asshole)

Coffee County Commissioner Barry West (asshole)

Why do I think he’s an asshole? Because of the photograph below. Let me be clear; Barry West didn’t create that photograph. That’s not him in the photograph. He simply posted the photo on his Facebook page. He’s an asshole because he thinks pointing a firearm at Muslims is amusing.

When a local newspaper asked him if he was prejudiced against Muslims, Barry said “I’m prejudiced against anyone who’s trying to tear down this country, Muslims, Mexicans, anybody.” He didn’t explain why he thinks Muslims and Mexicans are trying to tear down this country, but maybe the reporter didn’t ask him. And really, that doesn’t matter.

how to winkPredictably, Barry West caught a HUGE amount of shit from people who found this photo offensive and decided Barry was an asshole. He removed the photo from his Facebook page eventually, but that doesn’t make him any less of an asshole. It just makes him an asshole who’s embarrassed to be recognized as an asshole.

Muslims, of course, were particularly offended. It’s important to remember that a lot of mosques and Islamic centers in Tennessee have been the target of arson and vandalism over the past half decade. Just a couple of years ago in Murfreesboro, Tennessee (in a county that adjoins Coffee County), residents attempted to prevent the construction of a mosque by every means possible, legal and illegal. They tied it up in zoning hearings, they filed frivolous lawsuits, there were numerous incidents of vandalism, and eventually an arson attack on the construction site. All that in a city with 140 Christian churches and only one mosque. So the concern of Tennessee Muslims was understandable.

murfreesboro mosqueBut here’s the thing about Barry West: he has the perfect right to be an asshole. He has the right to post photographs other folks (including me) see as offensive and racist. I totally defend his right to be an asshole. The Constitution of the United States expressly protects his right to be an asshole and say stupid and offensive things. That’s why I’m talking about Barry West. It’s also why Bill Killian was talking about Barry West.

U.S. Attorney Bill Killian

U.S. Attorney Bill Killian

Bill Killian is the United States Attorney for the Eastern District of Tennessee. Tonight he’s speaking at a seminar sponsored by the American Muslim Advisory Council of Tennessee. In recent days, though, Killian spoke to the news media about Barry West and the photo. He said, “We need to educate people about Muslims and their civil rights, and as long as we’re here, they’re going to be protected.” He also said, “If a Muslim had posted ‘How to Wink at a Christian,’ could you imagine what would have happened?” And then Killian added that one of his purposes in addressing the subject was to:

“…to inform the public what federal laws are in effect and what the consequences are.”

And that has set off a conservative shitstorm. A lot of conservative Christians seem to think any statement defending the civil rights of Muslims is somehow a threat against Christian conservatives. Politico.com proclaimed Feds suggest anti-Muslim speech can be punished. Well, no, the Feds didn’t suggest that at all. Breitbart.com says Posting Something Mean About Muslims on Social Media Might Be a Criminal Action Under Federal Civil Rights Laws. Well, no, it’s not a criminal action. GatewayPundit says Obama DOJ: Trashing Islam on Social Media Will Have Legal Repercussions. Well, no, there won’t be any legal repercussions. And my absolute favorite — one conservative blogger, in a post entitled Tomorrow the DOJ Plans to Repeal the First Amendment, wrote this:

Bill Killian, U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Tennessee will start educating people about the repeal of the First Amendment, only he want call it that…  Instead he’s going to tell us if you criticize Murdering Islamic Terrorists, the DOJ might decide you’re violating their Civil Rights.

All this faux outrage (remember, Attorney Killian hasn’t even spoken at the seminar yet) is intended to do three things. First, it’s meant to make bigots feel justified in their bigotry. Second, it’s meant to change the subject from the actual verbal assaults against Muslims to imaginary assaults against bigots. And third, it’s meant to fuel the paranoid delusions of white Christian bigots.

So what did Killian really mean when he mentioned ‘what federal laws are in effect and what the consequences are’? He meant this:

People are free to hate, as long as they don’t act on it. Hateful statements directed at another will be used as evidence in a hate crime.

So Killian was, in effect, saying Barry West is free to be an asshole and say hateful things (and post hateful photographs on Facebook — so long as Facebook allows it), but if he’s ever accused of a hate crime, those hateful things might be used as evidence against him.

Some day I’m going to do some research and try to figure out at what point conservatives became such whiny little crybabies.

you’re too late in asking

If you’re a fan of John Prine, you’re familiar with his song Paradise. If you’re not a fan of John Prine, well damn…what the hell is wrong with you? But if you’re not a fan I’ll educate your sorry ass. Listen to this:

That song is based on actual events. There really was a town in Muhlenberg County, Kentucky called Paradise. You can still find it on Google Maps, though all you’ll see is a coal processing plant in the bend of a chalky river.  And in 1962, just as the song says, the Peabody Coal Company did, in fact, bring in the world’s largest shovel to dig for coal. It was a monstrous fucking shovel, as you can see by this old post card.

peabody coal shovelBe sure to look in the lower right hand corner. Those soft little squishy things? Those are people.That’s how big this shovel is. The scoop could hold 115 cubic yards of…well, of whatever it scooped up, and I suspect it could scoop just about anything it wanted. Peabody Coal named the shovel Big Hog, and just like the song says, they used it to dig for coal until the land was forsaken.

peabody coal shovel3

Big Hog was retired from service in the mid-1980s, after twenty-some years of faithful service. Okay, the service was destroying the land — but Big Hog did it faithfully, day after day, week after week, year after year. Peabody Coal honored that service by burying the massive shovel in what’s probably the world’s biggest grave for a machine. They interred the shovel in one of the pits it dug. It’s still there.

If only Peabody treated its human workers with that same respect and dignity.

The Peabody Coal Company is now Peabody Energy, the world’s largest private coal provider. They provide coal to China, Australia, Germany, the United Kingdom, Indonesia, and Singapore, as well as the United States. In fact, they generate 10% of the electricity used in the United States and somewhere around 2% of electricity generated throughout the world. Peabody Energy is big. They hold majority interests in twenty-eight surface and underground mining operations.

peabody energy dream bigOne of those operations is Patriot Coal. Peabody created Patriot in 2007, giving them around 13% of their coal reserves. That made Patriot a major player in coal. But Peabody also gave Patriot around 40% of their health care liabilities. That’s right, Peabody dumped the health care costs for more that 8,000 men and women who retired from Peabody onto a new company.

You won’t be surprised to know that coal mining is hard work, and coal miners — both those who work on the surface and those who work underground — experience a lot of long-term health problems. Unions for coal workers naturally include health care costs for retirees in the contracts they negotiate with coal providers. By shifting those costs to Patriot Coal, Peabody Energy was no longer responsible for them.

So what does Patriot Coal do? They soon buy Magnum Coal, which was a subsidiary created by the Arch Coal Company — the second-largest mining company. Arch Coal had saddled Magnum with the health care costs of more than 2000 retired Arch coal miners. So by acquiring Magnum, Patriot — a company that’s only five years old — suddenly found itself overwhelmed by health care costs for more than ten thousand workers who never actually worked a day in their lives for Patriot.

patriot coal companyHere’s a surprise: Patriot Coal couldn’t afford to pay for the health care needed by all those retirees. As a result, last summer they were forced — forced — to file for bankruptcy to protect the company from all those health care expenses.

Last week, Bankruptcy Judge Kathy Surratt-States ruled Patriot would be allowed to disregard the health care benefits the mine workers had been guaranteed in their contracts with Peabody and Arch. The judge, who was appointed in 2003 by President George W. Bush, acknowledged that Patriot Coal may have actually been “created to fail.” But the transfer of retirement benefits to that company was legal — and some sacrifices have to be made in order for the company to survive. So tough shit, mine workers. In her ruling, she even suggested the mine workers union was partly at fault for “demanding benefits that the employer cannot realistically fund in perpetuity.” As if the union was to blame for management’s decision to sign the contract.

That wasn’t the only recent decision Judge Surratt-States issued in regard to the Patriot Coal Company bankruptcy. About three weeks ago she agreed to allow Patriot to distribute US$6.9 million in bonuses to 225 of their corporate executives and salaried employees.

Mine workers denied the benefits guaranteed them by contract, executives given bonuses, coal companies relieved of the burden of keeping any promises they made — but hey, at least Big Hog got a decent burial. That’s pretty cool.

And daddy won’t you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
Well, I’m sorry my son, but you’re too late in asking.
Mr. Peabody’s coal train has hauled it away.