jeb!

Our country is on a very bad course. And the question is: What are we going to do about it? The question for me is: What am I going to do about it? And I have decided.

I am a candidate for President of the United States.

Well, there it is. It’s official. Jeb! Bush has decided to seek the office of President of the United States.

What? You thought he was already running? You thought just because he’s been visiting all the early primary states and meeting with local GOP officials and giving speeches and attending political events that he was already campaigning? You thought he was already a candidate just because he’s been accepting tens of millions of dollars in donations and contributions? You thought just because he’s established a Super PAC and hired campaign staff and event coordinators and political consultants and strategists and pollsters that Jeb! Bush was officially in the race?

Pffft. Silly rabbit. Not at all. Jeb! Bush was simply exploring the idea of running for office.

jeb!

You see, it’s against the law for an actual candidate to directly accept corporate campaign contributions. It’s also against the law for an official candidate to accept foreign contributions, or individual cash contributions in amounts over one hundred dollars, or contributions from government contractors. And hey, it’s also illegal to accept individual non-cash contributions of more than $2,700 per election. Those laws were established to prevent corruption in the electoral process.

If Jeb! Bush had actually been a candidate, he’d have been legally required to report the amounts of money he’d raised, and who he accepted the money from, and how that money was spent. He’d have been prohibited by law from coordinating any official campaign strategies with the Super PAC that supports him.

jeb!2

But hey, Jeb! Bush hadn’t actually said he was a candidate. He hadn’t actually filed a Statement of Candidacy with the Federal Election Committee. And in his speeches to date he’d been careful to insert the phrase ‘if I decide to run.’ So he wasn’t actually a candidate. Which means Jeb! Bush wasn’t really precisely truly properly undeniably breaking the law.

Not at all. No, Jeb! Bush was merely standing off to one side and pissing on the law.

I will campaign as I would serve, going everywhere, speaking to everyone, keeping my word, facing the issues without flinching, and staying true to what I believe.

I think he’s telling the truth. I think he will campaign exactly as he would serve. I think he’ll stay true to what he believes. I think he believes the law doesn’t really apply to people like him.

He’s Jeb! Bush.

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6 thoughts on “jeb!

  1. I expect nothing less from him. Or more. Shit. Another Bush-Clinton race. I can’t help but believe that it’s all choreographed ahead of time anyway.

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    • I’m not at all convinced Jeb! will be the Republican nominee. I mean, he’s the obvious choice at the moment, simply because he’s the only Republican currently in the race who isn’t a total fuckwit or lunatic. I’m thinking maybe Kasich of Ohio will enter the race and scoop up the nomination while nobody’s looking.

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  2. Sweet Jeebus on a stick.Just heard today on pbs that Trump is going to run as well. What a circus. And god help us all if one of these clowns actually gets elected.

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    • I’m glad TRUMP is in it — and not just because of the comedy value. Just by putting his name on the list along with the other GOP candidates, he diminishes the entire GOP line-up. It makes the rest of them seem less serious — like a classically trained musician having to share the stage with a guy who plays a banjo made out of a cigar box..

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  3. Wow! Both a Bush and a Clinton in the running now. I guess this just goes to show there aren’t any Clintons that mind beating around some Bush … (Oops, did I say that?)

    Liked by 1 person

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