3 things about the texas lawsuit

To the horror and astonishment of many, Ken Paxton is the actual Attorney General of the State of Texas. Our boy Ken has filed a lawsuit asking the Supreme Court of the United States to basically shitcan the election results in the States of Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin. None of those states, you may have noticed, is Texas.

You already KNOW that Comrade Trump and his squad of Orc lawyers have had their asses handed to them in around forty courtrooms where they’ve had the audacity to present their arguments. They’ve been claiming they have gigantic mounds of real honest no-shit evidence of fraud and they’re going to produce it any minute now — but they never get around to showing it. So if you’re a semi-normal functioning adult, you’re probably wondering what’s different about Ken Paxton’s suit.

“Who farted?” Trump’s elite legal team.

Three things are different. First thing: Kenny is straight up admitting they don’t have any evidence of actual voter fraud. Because it’s invisible.

“[T[he media has consistently proclaimed that no widespread voter fraud has been proven. But this observation misses the point. The constitutional issue is not whether voters committed fraud but whether state officials violated the law by systematically loosening the measures for ballot integrity so that fraud becomes undetectable.”

Kenny is basically saying voter fraud is like a fart at a tea party — you can’t see it, but you know it happened. And it happened because Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin were just too fucking stupid to stop it. So he wants SCOTUS to light a match and burn a Republican-scented candle.

“Who farted?” Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton

Second thing: Ken Paxton is pimping for a pardon. His own staff in the Texas Attorney General’s office snitched on him, accusing him of corruption, bribery and abuse of office. The FBI is investigating, and things look a wee bit grim for Kenny. But lo, what corrupt light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Comrade Trump is the sun. Trump has been offering pardons to his family, friends, and staff like a fishmonger trying to get rid of day-old tuna. Nobody is saying it very loudly, but our boy Kenny has his hand out.

Third thing: didn’t nobody in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, or Wisconsin ask Texas to come fart at their tea party. In fact, Pennsylvania filed a response with the Supreme Court calling Kenny’s suit a “seditious abuse of the judicial process.” (Sedition, by the say, refers to the act of inciting revolt or violence against a lawful authority with the goal of destroying or overthrowing it. It’s one step below treason; the difference between sedition and treason is treason requires an overt act — the difference between farting at a tea party and dropping a turd in the punch bowl.)

Is SCOTUS likely to take this seriously? Almost certainly not (and yeah, it should be ‘certainly not’ but Trump has winkled all the integrity out of the judiciary, so who the hell knows?). But at the heel of the hunt, the Texas lawsuit seems to be nothing more than a corrupt attorney general hoping to please a corrupt president enough to get a pardon.

MAGA, bitches. Smell the Republican roses.

6 thoughts on “3 things about the texas lawsuit

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Seems it’s all for this: “the Texas lawsuit seems to be nothing more than a corrupt attorney general hoping to please a corrupt president enough to get a pardon. MAGA, bitches. Smell the Republican roses.” … the trashing of American democracy for THIS!?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The similes and analogies in this post are some of the best I’ve ever read anywhere. Seriously. This is the top shelf stuff. Kudos.
    This though:
    “The FBI is investigating, and things look a wee bit grim for Kenny. But lo, what corrupt light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Comrade Trump is the sun.”
    .
    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!
    C

    Like

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