trump and getting to heaven

I hear this a lot. I mean, really a lot. “I really don’t understand this thing Christians have for Donald Trump. How can they support this guy? It doesn’t make sense.”

The thing is, it sorta kinda does make sense. At least it makes a sort of sense for a couple of different kinds of Christians. The thing is, when most of us think of Christians we think of folks who are trying to live by the principles laid down by Jesus. You know, love one another, judge not, forgive others who have wronged you, the truth shall set you free, the meek shall inherit, all that. Those Christians would have a really hard time supporting a sociopathic serial liar like Donald Trump.

But there are a lot of other sorts of Christians who have different priorities, and those priorities make it possible — even necessary — for them to support a guy like Trump. For example, abortion absolutists. If the main (or only) issue you’re concerned about is overturning Roe v. Wade, then Comrade Trump is your guy. He’s said many times he’ll only nominate appellate court judges who are opposed to Roe, so there’s that.

Worst petting zoo ever.

Personally, I don’t think Donald Trump cares about abortion one way or another. I’d be willing to bet my paycheck (if I had a paycheck) that he’s coughed up some coin to put an end to more than a few unwelcome pregnancies. But if ending abortion gets him applause and support (and money), then he’ll be willing to say he’s against abortion. It’s not religious or philosophical for him; it’s transactional. Still, these Christians will pray for him.

There’s another reason some Christians support Trump. They believe the End Times are just around the corner and it’s time to start making plans for The Rapture. Just a week ago, Pat Robertson, the televangelist, revealed to his audience that god told him “Donald Trump will be reelected…and his reelection will bring about start of the End Times.” These Christians see that as good news. They believe a whole bunch of stuff has to happen before Jesus returns and kicks Evil to the curb. First up, dead true believers will be resurrected, then the living true believers and the resurrected dead will rise up bodily to the clouds to meet god and Jesus. While all this cloud-based business is happening, everything on Earth is going Oh Shit. We’re talking war and calamities and all manner of horrible stuff. Then after a period of time, everybody who was raptured away will get to return to Earth like Jesus’ sidekicks and destroy Evil. I may have gotten some that wrong, and the chronology might be a tad off. But there are a LOT of different interpretations about what’s supposed to happen…but my point, if you can call it that, is that IF you believe somebody like Trump is necessary in order to get to that returning-with-Jesus-to-kick-Evil’s-ass moment, then you’d be all ‘Yay, Trump!’

Farmers and shepherds getting raptured away, and sinners getting stuck with the resulting mess.

So there you go. That’s why some Christians continue to support Comrade Trump. They’re either all about the fetus or they’re working on an appointment with Jesus in the clouds. Or else they’re just racist, women-hating assholes who call themselves Christians.

The thing is, these Christians may not give a rat’s ass about you or your values or your beliefs, but they vote. And they’ll vote for Trump. So unless you want to see forced pregnancies and/or everything on Earth going Oh Shit while some Christians have tea with Jesus in the clouds, you need to vote too.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a Christian, though I was raised as a sort of half-assed Southern Baptist with a little Lutheran side-eye. Just so you know.

12 thoughts on “trump and getting to heaven

    • The teachings of Jesus–which a heckuvalotta evangelical Christians seem never to have heard of–make a lot of sense. Be kind to others? Don’t cast stones? Feed the poor? Of course! I consider myself atheist, but Jesus was a teacher whose teachings I can mostly respect. (It’s when Paul got his hands on them that things started to go downhill.)

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Considering that The Rapture is a fundamentally modern creation (early 19th century), I have a hard time putting any stock in its veracity or the mental stability of anyone who claims that it is here or coming soon.

    Honestly, according to Zoroastrianism we’re kinda already there:

    “At the end of thy tenth hundredth winter, the sun is more unseen and more spotted; the year, month, and day are shorter; and the earth is more barren; and the crop will not yield the seed. And men become more deceitful and more given to vile practices. They will have no gratitude. Honorable wealth will proceed to those of perverted faith. And a dark cloud makes the whole sky night, and it will rain more noxious creatures than water.” – The Bahman Yasht

    Zoroastrianism includes a final savior of mankind, the resurrection of the dead, trials and tribulations that the faithful will pass and the sinner will suffer during. The faithful will become immortal, yada yada yada. And it did all of this about 6 millennia BEFORE the foundations of the Abrahamic faiths.

    So, we can see that chrisitianity is basically that new kid in class cribbing off of everyone else.

    Personally, I would prefer the Norse Ragnarök. Sounds way more fun and as a Chicagoan, Fimbulwinter is just another cold day on Lake Shore Drive.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Greg….help….I’m not a good enough writer….but I see some similarities from 1968….”The Whole World is watching….and yes…they are right now. I think you should write about this:) HaHa…as if you don’t have enough to write about. But…the whole world is watching….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. After reading your post Greg I can see I’m way to serious in my blog. I’m not sure what the last 4 years would have been like without Trump to kick around. Grant it I’m not to fond of his hairdo. Yea and he is so stupid he only kept about 98% of his promises. While the mealy mouth Democrats were trying to impeach him he was already shut down airports and travel to and from China and a few days later every place else. And while Sleepy Bite Me Biden was trying to figure out how to turn a light switch on to get out of a basement . Trump was hosting rallies of 40 and 50,000 supporters. I’ll continue to read your blogs I need a good laugh.


    • he only kept about 98% of his promises

      Mexico apparently did pay for a wall that still isn’t built. His health care legislation, although built entirely out of stealth technology so it’s not visible to the naked eye, is apparently cheaper and better. He apparently ended the national debt and nobody noticed. His four-year-long infrastructure week has apparently completely rebuilt every bridge and highway in the US. He apparently pulled the US out of NATO without NATO realizing it. And Hillary and Barack are secretly in prison!

      Well done, Citizen Trump.

      he was already shut down airports and travel to and from China and a few days later every place else

      SPOILER: it’s pointless to close a border AFTER the virus is already here unless you have a national plan to CONTROL the spread of the virus. We’ve had more than half a million new confirmed cases of Covid in the last five days — largely because Trump and his followers refused to take the most basic steps to mitigate the spread.

      I’ll continue to read your blogs

      Be still, my heart.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jeebus on a could toast.

    « While all this cloud-based business is happening, everything on Earth is going Oh Shit. »
    from the bible to the present day… we needed the present day for this pun to work. no?

    on all of this flavor of Christianity, I am still wanting to do some analytical stuff to support my notion that they rarely quote the New Testament’s Gospels… but rather turn to the Old Testament, more often to Leviticus.

    but yes, never in doubt why “Christianists” support him, and loved the TV Evangelism of his Twitter feed.

    Liked by 1 person

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