Well, here we are. The Democratic Party presidential race is down to two septuagenarian white guys. It’s a sad day when we have to admit the most capable candidate was largely erased from the contest through media bias and because of the cowardice of voters who were afraid other people wouldn’t vote for a woman.

It wasn’t just her energy, it wasn’t just her willingness to stand for four hours so everybody could get a selfie with her, it wasn’t just her intelligence and clear thinking, it wasn’t just her goofy but charming and sincere pinkie-promises with young girls, and it wasn’t just her ability to articulate complex issues in ways that made sense to ordinary folks; it was her essential honesty and decency that made Elizabeth Warren such a compelling candidate. But now she’s out.

Now what are we supposed to do? I’m talking to those of us who supported — and still support — Elizabeth Warren. Now who do we support? The old cranky white guy whose policies are closest to our own? Or the old cheerful white guy whose policies are more modest but more likely to be implemented? Do we support the guy who promises major structural change? Or the guy who just wants a return to normality? The guy whose followers include a vocal group of misogynistic assholes? Or the guy whose supporters include the usual big money donors? Which old white guy do we choose?

I like Bernie. I also like Joe. I like them in different ways. I like Bernie because he’s consistent and stubborn. He’s an old school structuralist, and he’s never going to change because of popular opinion. He plants his flag and stands by it. I like Joe because he’s flexible. He gets along with people and is a genuine deal-maker. He understands the need to accommodate other perspectives, to compromise when necessary, to bend to some degree to get what he thinks is important. I like Bernie because he doesn’t budge when he believes he’s right. I like Joe because he’ll budge a little to get a little.

At this point, I’m trying to balance pragmatism with emotion. Here’s my pragmatic view at the moment. I think Bernie’s positions are right. I also think being right isn’t enough. Being right isn’t as important as improving things. Bernie’s been right for his entire career in Congress, but he hasn’t been able or willing to work with others to get things changed. Joe hasn’t always been right. In fact, he’s been pretty godawfully wrong about some stuff, like the war in Iraq. But he’s also worked with others to accomplish a lot, like pushing President Obama to support marriage equality.

Here’s my emotional view at this moment. I don’t have any clear view of Bernie’s interior life. I can’t imagine what he does when he’s at home with his wife. I can’t see him watching a television show, or playing with a dog, or reading fiction, or going to a baseball game, or having a glass of wine while cooking supper. I’m sure he has an interior life, but I can’t picture it. I can picture Joe doing all of that, and having a good time of it. I fully recognize that’s a shit reason for preferring one candidate over another — and it won’t be my deciding factor — but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t matter.

It may sound like I’m leaning toward Joe. I’m not. At this moment, I really don’t know which candidate I’m going to support. There are valid arguments for each of them. There are valid reasons to oppose each of them. I’ve spent the day walking and thinking and all I know for sure is that at this momrnt I can’t support either of them with any enthusiasm. Not with any passion. Not with the deep sincerity and clarity I felt in supporting Warren. So I don’t know who I’m going to support. Maybe neither of them.

But I DO KNOW THIS. I know we need to burn the patriarchy to the fucking ground. Because this shit HAS to end. We need to burn it to the ground because we had several women candidates equal to — and in most cases very much better — than these two old white guys. We need to burn the patriarchy to the ground, then burn it again. Then drive a stake directly through the ashes where its heart used to be, and then burn the fucker one more time. And keep burning it, over and over.

Then nuke the entire sit from orbit. You know the reason why.