— I don’t understand what’s going on in Alabama.
— That’s okay. The people of Alabama don’t always understand what’s going on in Alabama.
— I mean, Roy Moore lost? Actually lost? A Republican lost to a Democrat? To a pro-life Democrat? In Alabama?
— These are the days of miracles and wonder, as the poet Simon said. And dude? This is like our third or fourth conversation about Roy Moore. And, it’s to be hoped, the last.
— Dude, c’mon. Alabama.
— Fair point.
— I mean, sure, Moore lost…but he hasn’t made a concession speech yet. He’s talking about fighting it.
— As far as that goes, Moore hasn’t conceded that the South lost in the Civil War. Hell, he didn’t concede to the fact that he was kicked off the Alabama Supreme Court. Twice. Concession is not his strong point.
— Being an unrepentant racist, misogynistic fuckwit, that’s his strong point. And a pedophile.
— Well, not technically a pedophile. But yeah.
— But at least the people of Alabama have rejected him. Maybe now he’ll just disappear.
— Not all the people rejected him.
— Most of them.
— Actually most of the white folks who voted cast their votes for Moore.
— You’re joking. Tell me you’re joking. You’ve got to be totally fucking joking. Please say you’re joking. You’re not joking, are you.
— Nope. More than seventy percent of white men voted for Moore. More than sixty percent of white women voted for him.
— Jeebus fuck me with a chainsaw.
— Black folks, that’s who kicked Roy Moore’s ass. Black women in particular. The NAACP and the volunteers that got folks out to vote, that’s who kicked Roy Moore’s ass. Old school grassroots campaigning, that’s what kicked Roy Moore pale ass.
— I got to say, today I love me some Alabama. I’m starting to remember how to breathe again. I’m convinced that today will be all bluebirds and rainbows.
— You want to see this happen in other states, you might want to consider breathing a bit coin in the direction of the NAACP. What happened yesterday was great, but it’s still a long way to go.
— Okay, okay, but we can celebrate today, right? I mean, this is huge, right? We can take a day to relax and spread joy and all that, can’t we?
— Yes, but…
— But nothing. Dude, c’mon. Alabama!
— Alabama, yes sir. Alafuckingbama. Bring on the bluebirds.