in which i explain why i call him comrade trump

Hey, you guys! Remember when something like forty-seven hundred different United States intelligence services said Russia interfered with the presidential election and Vlad Putin said, “Nuh uh” and Donald Trump believed Putin? Is Trump a fucking idiot or what? (Hint: he is a fucking idiot.)

And remember just a few days ago when the U.S. Senate voted 98-2 to sanction Russia for interfering with the presidential election, and Donald Trump said, “Oh, c’mon, stop picking on Russia, leave Brittney Putin alone!” but signed the bill anyway on account of he’s a weasel? And he did it in private, which is really really unusual because Donald Trump just loves to sign things in front of an audience? Remember that, you guys?

And also too, you guys, remember like a day or two ago when Brittney Putin decided to expel 755 people from the American embassy and consulate staff in Russia on account of the U.S. Senate voted 98-2 (ninety-fucking-eight to two!) to sanction Russia for interfering with the presidential election, and Donald Trump totally thanked Brittney for punishing the U.S. embassy in Russia?

You guys, listen you guys, people ask me, they say “Hey, Greg, why do you call him Conrad Trump?” and I have to explain it’s not Conrad, it’s Comrade, and then they want to know why I call him Comrade.

You guys, this is why I call him Comrade Trump. On account of he’s deep in the pocket of Russian oligarchs, on account of he’s smitten with Putin the Strongman, on account of he was elected only through the assistance of the Russian government, and on account of given a choice between standing up for the U.S. or sitting in the lap of Russia, Trump always — every fucking time — chooses Russia.

Every. Fucking. Time. So, that’s why. In case you were wondering (you were totally wondering, weren’t you).

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5 thoughts on “in which i explain why i call him comrade trump

    • How did Russia interfere? Let me count the ways…

      1) Two Russian groups backed by the Russian government hacked into the computers of the DNC, stealing data and information; any potentially damaging information was provided to WikiLeaks, DCLeaks, and Guccifer, who then disseminated it to the public.
      2) Innocent information stolen from the DNC servers was ‘adjusted’ so it appeared to be damaging, then leaked and disseminated in the same way.
      3) Fabricated, false, and fake information was mixed in with the potentially damaging information and the ‘adjusted’ information, in order to give the false information credibility. Stuff like the ‘Pizzagate’ stories or suggestions that Hillary Clinton suffered from a variety of medical issues or emotional problems.
      4) Russian intelligence agents encouraged global news sources to report stories suggesting the election was ‘rigged’ against Trump — the point being cast doubt on the validity of the election process IF Trump lost.
      5) Similarly, since the election, the Russian government has very publicly acted in ways to suggest they influenced the election while denying they influenced the election — the point, again, being to cast doubt on the validity of the election process, even though Trump won.
      6) The ultimate goal is to undermine the credibility of the US elections, to undermine the authority of the US president no matter who actually got elected, and to weaken the US on the world stage — all of which they’ve accomplished.

      I could go on.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Okay, not the most clever of responses, but I’ll give you credit for trying.

      There actually IS a problem with calling him Comrade Trump, however. In socialist countries, ‘comrade’ is still used as a sign of solidarity, particularly between workers. It’s a sign of respect.

      Trump is anything but a socialist or a communist. He’s a feckless narcissist born into money. But in the US people associate the term ‘comrade’ with communism, and they associate communism with the Soviet Union, and a surprising number of folks still think of Russia as the Soviet Union — so the easiest way to link Trump to Russia/Putin is by calling him Comrade Trump.

      More of a response than you probably wanted, though.

      Like

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