trump-level derangement & gazoony rays

I haven’t written much lately about Donald Trump, the Republican nominee for President of These United States, for the following reasons:

  1. The tsunami of offensive, idiotic shit Trump says is just overwhelming; no human can keep up with it — not writers, not readers. It would take a damned cyborg to process the daily load of Trump bullshit.
  2. The phrase Donald Trump, the Republican nominee for President of These United States is troubling in itself. I recognize all those words individually, but they make no sense when arranged in that order.
  3. C’mon, seriously, what is there to say about this guy?

But there are some Trump moments that are so entirely deranged that they bear repeating, if only as evidence that there’s a reason the term ‘deranged’ exists. Yesterday in Florida (of course, it had to be Florida), we saw two (2) such moments take place within minutes of each other. According to the New York Times, Trump said this:

“[W]hen Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers with their little boats and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water.”

Got that? If Iranian sailors in small craft approach a U.S. warship and make rude gestures, we should obliterate them. That’s deranged, of course, but it’s ‘normal’ derangement. I mean, it falls into the conventional range of crazy. What makes it deranged on a Trump scale is that moments later he said this about Hillary Clinton:

“She’s trigger happy.”

He wants to blow Iranian sailors out of the water for making rude gestures, but she’s trigger happy. This is the key to understanding Trump-level derangement. It creates a neural state in which a sentence spoken aloud exists independently, entirely devoid of any context or connection to the sentences that precede or follow it. Make a rude gesture and die. She is trigger-happy. To a ‘normal’ human, that would seem inconsistent. Not to Trump, though, because they’re two totally separate and completely unrelated sentences.

But that’s just ONE of the deranged Trump moments that took place in public yesterday in Florida. The other? Trump said Clinton:

“…is being so protected. She could walk into this arena right now and shoot somebody with 20,000 people watching, right smack in the middle of the heart, and she wouldn’t be prosecuted. Okay? That’s what’s happening.”

In case you were wondering what was happening, that’s it right there. Hillary Clinton can shoot somebody and not get prosecuted. That’s altogether different from what Trump said about himself back in January. He said:

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay?”

Again, to a ‘normal’ person, it would seem hypocritical to complain that one’s opponent could get away with shooting somebody after having bragged about personally being able to get away…wait. Wait just one fucking minute. What sort of person uses the capacity to get away with shooting another person as a metric for…well, for anything? I mean, Jeebus Caliber, what the fuck?

Trump emitting high-power Gazoony Rays

Trump emitting high-power Gazoony Rays

See, this is why I don’t write much about Trump. His level of derangement distorts all normal measures of derangement. Instead of being appalled by his bluster about being able to shoot somebody and not lose voters — which is REALLY APPALLING — you find yourself instead examining his hypocrisy about other folks being able to shoot…fuck me, I’m doing it again.

There’s only one possible explanation for this — only one explanation that makes any sense at all. Donald Trump must be emitting extremely powerful Mind-Distorting Gazoony Rays. There’s no other explanation.

6 thoughts on “trump-level derangement & gazoony rays

  1. Welcome to the “Let’s Bash the Shit out of Trump” bunch that’s almost sure to make more people vote for Hillary. I guess it’s time for me to pull up stakes and remove myself from reading this diatribe, too; just like I have much of the professional news media.

    Am I voting for Trump? If the best that could replace him is Hillary Clinton, probably. He would still be alot better than the other possibilities. And, for that matter, the only reason I would vote is to keep her from further destroying what little remains of the true America.


    • I am certainly bashing Trump, but not just because he’s the GOP nominee. I’m bashing him because he’s not a serious candidate for the presidency. He’s repeatedly demonstrated he doesn’t understand how government operates. He says he’ll probably replace most (or all) of the top military brass and replace them with some of the retired generals and admirals who support him — as if that’s something the president can actually do — as if the military is run like a business. He doesn’t understand the First Amendment, the Fifth Amendment, the 14th Amendments of the Constitution (I’m not sure he understands the others, but those are three he’s demonstrated he doesn’t understand). He doesn’t understand how the national debt works; he thinks POTUS can renegotiate it. He thinks POTUS can renegotiate the terms of NATO, which is shameful in itself, but what’s more shameful is he doesn’t seem to understand how NATO operates and why it exists.

      My problem with Trump isn’t that he’s a Republican. My problem with Trump and the Republicans who support him is that he’s repeatedly demonstrated he doesn’t understand the functions of government, or the role of the judiciary, or the role of the legislative branch, or even the role of the executive branch that he wants lead.

      Liked by 1 person

      • So what’s the alternative? And what do you (et al) think you’re accomplishing by these repeated attacks? The answer is so simple. Those who like Trump are going to continue to support him and vote for him just as are those who support and will vote for the other people. But no matter who gets elected, unless that person is willing to garner the support of Congress (both houses) their efforts will prove fruitless. Everything else is little more than rhetoric.

        Furthermore, people seem to forget that it isn’t the popular vote that elects presidents, it’s the Electoral College. We can spit fire in our respective directions all day and night, and not a word of it will make any more difference than a hill of beans.

        Sorry, but I disagree with your standpoint.


  2. Dude, you don’t know me, but I have to say to you: Why are you even dignifying that with an answer? Anyone who thinks Trump is the lesser of two evils to Hillary has already had his brain eaten away by the putative rays. There’s no one home.


    • If you’re talking about JCBP’s comment, I responded out of respect. He and I disagree on a lot of issues, but he’s always been sincere and straightforward. I respect that. Besides, I think it’s important to try to understand the perspective of people you disagree with.


      • The truth is I pay very little attention to those willing to chastise me for my responses, questions, etc. Regardless what camp you’re a part of, or which campaign, there will always be those who will disagree. One some, a minute portion, will become indignant and insulting.

        And thank you again, Greg, for entertaining this old damned Yankee …


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