pull the car in the garage

— Did you hear, then? Trump won in Nevada.
— Fuck me with a chainsaw.
— Yeah, I hear that’s his new interrogation plan. Waterboarding? That’s for sissies.
— That’s really it, isn’t it.
— What’s really it?
— That’s why people are voting for him. They’re frustrated and angry, so they’re voting for a bully. They want somebody who thinks waterboarding doesn’t go far enough.
— I don’t know. I don’t know if people really that angry.
— Have you seen a Trump rally? On television.
— Well…
— Guy heckled Trump at a rally, Trump said “I’d like to punch him in the face.”
— Yeah, well, I’m not saying…
— The crowd cheered. This fucking guy, he’s running for president, says he wants to punch a protester. In the face. And the crowd cheered.
— Yeah. But what I’m saying is…
— The crowd cheered, dude. Trump wants to punch a guy in the face and the…
— You keep interrupting me, I’ma punch you in the face.
— See? That’s it, right there. That’s why they’re voting for Trump. So what were you gonna say?
— Okay, first, we’re talking about Republicans here. Not everybody.
— True.
— Second, yeah, they’re frustrated to the point of rage. It’s frustrage.
— Frustrage.
— But it’s not about anything in specific. It’s free-floating frustrage. For twenty-five years or so the Republican party has been selling their people the idea that government can’t be trusted. That science can’t be trusted. That educators can’t be trusted. That politicians can’t be trusted. That the only things they can trust are Jeebus, guns, and business leaders.
— That whole ‘United States ought to be run like a business’ bullshit.
— Exactly. So Republicans kept electing people who didn’t believe in government or science or education. And guess what?
— I don’t want to guess.
— Go head, guess.
— I’m not guessing.
— Things got worse.
— That’s what I would have guessed.
— Things got worse and ordinary Republicans became resigned to things being worse, until they eventually said ‘fuck it.’
— Fuck it?
— That’s what they said. There’s a Willie Nelson story…I don’t know if it’s true or not.
— All Willie Nelson stories are true.

Republicans think America is a garage fire.

Republicans think America is a garage fire.

— Yeah, well, Willie…you know how he spent years being either rich or flat broke, right?
— Yeah.
— So he was rich. Had him a nice house, new car, all that. And he’s at this party, right?
— Willie Nelson is always at a party, even when he’s by himself.
— So he’s at this party and he gets a phone call from his nephew. He says…maybe it was a cousin. Or was it his agent?
— Does it matter? Willie’s at a party and he gets a phone call.
— He gets a phone call and his nephew or whoever says “Uncle Willie, your house is on fire.” Willie says, “Is everybody okay?” The cousin says everybody’s fine. Willie says, “What about my new car?” The cousin or his agent says, “Your car’s fine.” And Willie says…Willie, he knows he’s going to be broke again…Willie, he says, “Well, fuck it. Pull the car in the garage.”
— I don’t get it.
— He says, “Pull the car in the garage.”
— Yeah, I don’t get it.
— He knows he’s going to be broke again, so he says ‘fuck it’. He might as well be well and truly broke.
— So you think the people voting for Trump are saying ‘fuck it, pull the car into the garage’?
— Yeah. Kinda. You know. Burn it all down, start over.
— You really think that?
— I don’t know. Sorta kinda.
— Pull the car in the garage
— Yeah. I don’t know. What do you think?
— It’s not the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.
— That’s a low bar to meet.
— You think he’ll get the nomination, Trump?
— Don’t know. Maybe. Probably.
— You think he can get elected?
— No fucking way.
— But what if he does?
— Never happen.
— But what if it does?
— Then I guess it’s our turn to pull the car into the garage.

Editorial Note: How do you get to Trump? Like this.

8 thoughts on “pull the car in the garage

    • It’s sad, I think. And shameful, and terribly embarrassing for Trump to do so well. But I don’t find it particularly scary. There’s no real chance of him winning the presidency unless one group of Democrats gets pissy about their candidate not getting the nomination. If either Hillary or Bernie supporters choose to sit out the election in a fit of childish pique, then Trump might have a chance. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure he’ll suffer a loss of Goldwater proportions.

      And that might actually be a good thing for Republicans.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. My friend, you have such an eloquent way with words that I truly admire.

    I think the reason why so many are beginning to follow the Trump bandwagon is that they have become disgusted with electing and re-electing politicians to government supposedly to represent the people, and then being all but completely ignored until their votes are once again needed, or they’ve run out of money and look to us good ol’ taxpayers for more. I think the reason the political establishment fears Trump will upset their comfortable little apple cart and put an end to the rhetorical BS that so easily flows from the mouths of those we mistakenly elect. And, I think in their quest to make each other appear to be the culprit responsible for all America’s woes, both the Democrats and Republicans are running scared to the fact he may prove them all at fault.

    This is, of course, conjecture. Belligerent old opinionated damned Yankees like me are too far down the totem pole to make any difference in this fiasco, and aren’t considered especially intelligent enough to care.


    • I think you make a valid argument. There are a LOT of folks — and especially Republicans — who are pissed off because politicians make promises they won’t or can’t keep. Of course, the fact that this now translates into support for somebody who promises to “build a wall and make Mexico pay for it” is a symptom of a political party that’s completely lost touch with reality.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I really just think that’s more a gimmic than a truth. Notice how crass he is in many of the things he says, and the level of media attention he garners because of it. In my opinion, there isn’t enough money in the world to get that much free public exposure!


  2. You were right last year, Greg. I found it hard to believe it would get this far- then. Now I believe it, though I shake my head over it every day……so, I also agree with Jody.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s really shocking and sad, isn’t it. He doesn’t really have ANY policy positions, he doesn’t understand how government works, he has no clear concept of the role of the various branches of government, and his approach to diplomacy is scary. His speeches are nothing but vague promises and bragging.

      There is no reason for him to even be IN politics, let alone be leading the polls for the Republican presidential candidate.


  3. If there is anything truly humorous about the whole mess, it’s that even the Republican Party (the one he claims to be representative of) is plotting to unseat him and bar him from ever attaining the Presidency. It’s a terrible thing when your own political party fears you so strongly as to attempt to mount campaigns to destroy you. What is this telling us about our political establishment?


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