dimwit sheriffs

I have on occasion chided gun control advocates for their lack of knowledge about the very weapons they want to regulate. It’s a pretty basic concept: if you want to regulate certain weapons, you should at least make some minimal effort to educate yourself about those weapons and they way they function. Otherwise you’re going to look like a fucking dimwit.

The same applies to gun rights advocates. If you’re going to make arguments defending your Constitutional rights, then you should at least make some minimal effort to educate yourself about the Constitution and the nature of those rights. Otherwise you’re going to look like a fucking dimwit.

I’m thinking primarily of that small group of county Sheriffs who’ve taken it upon themselves to inform Congress and/or the President of the United States that they don’t have to enforce laws they don’t like. Like this dimwit from Hancock County, Ohio, who wrote a letter to President Obama, saying:

It has come to my attention that you and some of your administration believe that the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States is up for your personal interpretation, and that there is a movement underway from the White House, and the Senate, and the Congress to take away the right of the people of this free country to keep guns and ammunition for their personal defense and security.

It’s come to my attention that Sheriff Michael Heldman spends too much time reading the lunatic rants at FreeRepublic.com and other extremist web sites. There is no ‘movement’ underway by anybody to deny the right of lawful citizens to keep firearms. That’s just the paranoid delusion of people who’ve watched Red Dawn too many times.

Hancock County, Ohio Sheriff Michael Heldman

Hancock County, Ohio Sheriff Michael Heldman

Sheriff Heldman thoughtfully reminds the president that the Constitution of the great state of Ohio guarantees “The people have the right to bear arms for their defense and security.” He goes on to say:

You have my solemn promise that I will defend the Constitution I swore to uphold. Our free citizens will remain free citizens, and as free citizens, we recognize as our only ultimate governmental authority — the Constitution of these United States.

Any edict, regulation, or so-called ‘federal law’ which infringes on the right of the citizens of Hancock County, Ohio to keep and bear arms for their security will not be tolerated, recognized or enforced by me or my office.

That’s a spectacular display of dimwittedness. Sheriff Heldman might consider taking a few moments to read that Constitution he’s so concerned about. It states pretty clearly in Article VI that the good citizens of Hancock County, Ohio are required to follow the same so-called ‘federal law’ that everybody else living in the United States has to follow.

This Constitution, and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof; and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the United States, shall be the supreme law of the land; and the judges in every state shall be bound thereby, anything in the Constitution or laws of any State to the contrary notwithstanding.

That little bit about the supreme law of the land? That’s called the Supremacy Clause, and it basically means Federal law trumps State law and that the Constitution of the United States trumps the constitutions of the individual states. Including Ohio.

In other words, Sheriff Heldman is legally and ethically bound by his oath of office to uphold and enforce the law of the land as it’s written.

There’s another part of the U.S. Constitution that might interest Sheriff Heldman; it’s called Article III. It says: The judicial power of the United States, shall be vested in one Supreme Court. That means there’s only one body that has jurisdiction over the interpretation of the U.S. Constitution — and folks, it ain’t the Sheriff of Hancock County, Ohio.

Fortunately for Sheriff Heldman, nobody has written a law like the one he’s vowing not to follow. Nobody has even written so much as a draft of such a law, let alone attempted to pass it. And no, there’s no secret Executive Order issued by the Kenyan Muslim Communist Anti-Christ to outlaw or seize guns. So the sheriff can relax.

But if a law was drafted, and if both houses of Congress passed that law, and if the President of the United States signed it, then Sheriff Michael Heldman would have a legal duty to enforce it, whether he agreed with it or not. That applies to every sheriff in each and every one of the 3,141 counties and county equivalents in the United States. Including the following sixty dimwits:

  • Sheriff Blake Dorning – Madison County, Alabama
  • Sheriff Ana Franklin – Morgan County, Alabama
  • Sheriff Andy Hughes – Houston County, Alabama
  • Sheriff Scott Mascher – Yavapai County, Arizona
  • Sheriff Joe Arpaio – Maricopa County, Arizona 
  • Sheriff Adam Christianson – Stanislaus County, California
  • Sheriff Jon Lopey – Siskiyou County, California
  • Sheriff Tom Bosenko – Shasta County, California
  • Sheriff John D’Agostini – El Dorado County, California
  • Sheriff David Hencraft – Tehama County, California
  • Sheriff Dean Growden – Lassen County, California
  • Sheriff Dean Wilson – Del Norte County, California
  • Sheriff Mike Poindexter – Modoc County, California
  • Sheriff Thomas Allman – Mendocino County, California
  • Sheriff Mike Downey – Humboldt County, California
  • Sheriff Margaret Mims – Fresno County, California
  • Sheriff Greg Hagwood – Plumas County, California
  • Sheriff Bruce Haney – Trinity County, California
  • Sheriff Justin Smith – Larimer County, Colorado
  • Sheriff Terry Maketa – El Paso County, Colorado
  • Sheriff John Cooke – Weld County, Colorado
  • Sheriff Stan Hilkey – Mesa County, Colorado
  • Sheriff Bill Snyder – Martin County, Florida
  • Sheriff Frank McKeithen – Bay County, Florida
  • Sheriff Mike Scott – Lee County, Florida
  • Sheriff Roger Garrison – Cherokee County, Georgia
  • Sheriff Stacy Nicholson – Gilmer County, Georgia
  • Sheriff Scott Berry – Oconee County, Georgia
  • Sheriff Roy Klingler – Madison County, Idaho
  • Sheriff Kieran Donahue – Canyon County, Idaho
  • Sheriff Denny Peyman – Jackson County, Kentucky
  • Sheriff Robin Cole – Pine County, Minnesota
  • Sheriff Brad A. DeLay – Lawrence County, Missouri
  • Sheriff Charles M. Heiss – Johnson County, Missouri
  • Sheriff Steve Cox – Livingston County, Missouri
  • Sheriff Frank Denning – Johnson County, Missouri
  • Sheriff Ed Kilgpore – Humboldt County, Nevada
  • Sheriff Tony Desmond – Schoharie County, New York
  • Sheriff Richard Devlin Jr. – Otsego County, New York
  • Sheriff Micahel A. Helmig – Boone County, Ohio
  • Sheriff A.J. Rodenberg – Clermont County, Ohio
  • Sheriff Bob ‘Big Block’ Colbert – Wagoner County, Oklahoma
  • Sheriff Glenn E. Palmer – Grant County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Gil Gilbertson – Josephine County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Tim Mueller – Linn County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Craig Zanni – Coos County, Oregon
  • Sheriff John Hanlin – Douglas County, Oregon
  • Sheriff John Bishop – Curry County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Larry Blanton – Deschutes County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Jim Hensley – Crook County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Pat Garrett – Washington County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Dan Staton – Multnomah County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Mike Winters – Jackson County, Oregon
  • Sheriff Brian Wolfe – Malheur County, Oregon 
  • Sheriff Al Cannon – Charleston County, South Carolina
  • Sheriff Chuck Wright – Spartanburg County, South Carolina
  • Sheriff Wayne DeWitt – Berkeley County, South Carolina
  • Sheriff Larry Smith – Smith County, Texas
  • Sheriff Terry Box – Collin County, Texas
  • Sheriff Joel W. Richardson – Randall County, Texas

The office of sheriff is a unique office, to be sure. But it doesn’t confer on those elected to that office the right to ignore the law if they don’t agree with it. These 61 dimwits should either publicly state that they’ll honor their oath of office, or they should have the courage and integrity to resign in protest.

7 thoughts on “dimwit sheriffs

    • Ana Franklin is also a woman, but you’re right…they’re almost all middle-aged white guys. Sheriff Franklin, by the way, is attempting to walk back her comments, saying she didn’t make any pledge to refuse to enforce gun control legislation. But she DID publicly state her office would “not stand for any federal agent to violate our citizens’ constitutional rights.”


  1. It’s appalling to me how many California counties are listed there. It’s interesting to note that all of those California Counties are in rural and very conservative areas.
    They may be dimwits, but they’re scary in their ignorance and hatred.


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  3. I don’t own a weapon but I quit reading because you have the demeanor of a self righteous asshole. You are no better than those you criticize.


    • Thanks for your comment on an eight-year-old blog post. I’ve never claimed to be ‘better’ than anybody. But I do claim to be less dimwitted than these sheriffs. Being elected to a county law enforcement position doesn’t make a person a Constitutional scholar, and it doesn’t confer on them the power to independently interpret the US Constitution.


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