clenched, so very clenched

You guys! Do you have enough guns yet? Let me answer that for you. No, you do not have enough guns yet. Go buy more guns because without guns they are going to attack us with “movie stars, and singers, and comedy shows, and award shows”!

No, seriously, they really are! Also? They are going to use their schools to “teach children that the president is another Hitler”! Another Hitler, you guys. Also too? They are going to use their media (they have their very own media!) to assassinate real news! Real news, totally dead on the deck, you guys. Unless you buy all the guns you really need (which, hint, is ALL the guns).

Wait, that’s not all! They are going to use their ex-president (you know, that Negro one? The one from Kenya, with the funny ears?) to “endorse the resistance”! That guy, he doesn’t even have a birth certificate thing, and they are going to use him for endorsing! Probably on an award show! Where he’ll be given an award for assassinating the real news to death! And an actor — or maybe even a singer — will give him the award!

Is that what you want? Do you want your children to grow up in a country where singers give awards to ex-presidents for assassinating real news? Then you’d better go out RIGHT NOW and buy as many guns as Jesus wants you to buy. If you think I’m kidding (I’m totally NOT kidding…would I kid about this?), just listen to what this extremely angry woman has to say.

 

See? I don’t know who this woman is, but she’s really intense and totally fucking furious about what they are doing. Or going to do. Or are thinking about maybe doing. Go buy some guns, you guys, or this already livid woman will become completely incensed. Seriously, she’s this close to having a damned seizure, she’s so pissed off at them. Buy some guns and send them to her. Maybe that’ll calm her down. I’m really worried about her right now.

Also plus? It’s not just about the welfare of this seething, choleric woman. You guys, it’s also about saving our country! Plus our freedom!. And according to this frightfully rancorous woman, the ONLY WAY to do that (and by ‘that’ I mean saving the country and our freedom), is to “fight this violence of lies with the clenched fist of truth”!

That’s right! The violence of lies, you guys. It has to be fought with a clenched fist. Well, a clenched fist and more guns. We’re talking the National Rifle Association after all, not the National Clenched Fist Association. If you don’t have more guns, then you might could possibly become — NO, you WOULD become — a victim of their violence. You know, the violence of their lies. Only a clenched fist and more guns will protect you from them.

Oh, and if you’re wondering who they are, then you’re them. That’s how you can tell.

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9 thoughts on “clenched, so very clenched

    • If you have to ask…

      I should probably repeat something I say all the time: I’m a liberal who likes guns. I just think they should be a LOT more difficult to buy and I think gun owners should be held responsible for what happens with their firearms.

      This is only partially about guns; it’s about a corrupt organization — the NRA — who ceased to be representative of sportsmen and have become gun lobbyists.

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      • But if someone steals your car and drives drunk and kills a family on the freeway, should the car owner be held liable? Far more people die by car than by gun violence. In 2015 38,300 died on the road and about a 1/3 of that number were killed by guns in homicides.

        Assuming that keeping people alive is the real ultimate goal here and not just a veiled attempt to control guns, then it makes more sense to make it more difficult for people to drive and get behind the wheel than get a gun.

        The NRA is no more agenda driven than any liberal organization like Planned Parenthood. They both spend millions to lobby for what they feel is important and that is just part of the system we live in. I cannot demonize one and support the other for doing the exact same thing.

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      • if someone steals your car and drives drunk and kills a family on the freeway, should the car owner be held liable?

        Oh lawdy, not this argument. The comparison between cars and firearms is ridiculous, and it’s even more ridiculous when you include the ‘stolen’ qualifier. Leaving a loaded firearm — a tool designed specifically to hurl a chunk of metal at high speed primarily at a meat-based target — in a place where a child can find it isn’t remotely like having a drunk steal a car — a device designed for transportation.

        it makes more sense to make it more difficult for people to drive and get behind the wheel than get a gun.

        It already IS more difficult for people to own a car than to own a firearm. You can’t operate a car without a license — I’m okay with licensing gun owners. You’re required to have at least basic liability insurance to drive a car — I’m okay with gun owners being required to purchase liability insurance. Your car has to pass an inspection periodically — I’m okay with gun owners being required to have their firearms occasionally inspected to make sure they’re in safe working condition. If you sell your car, you have to transfer ownership title to the new owner and the new owner has to register the new title — and hey, I’m okay with requiring gun owners to register transfers or sales of their firearms.

        a veiled attempt to control guns

        Nothing veiling about it. I think guns need to be more closely controlled.

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      • Greg,
        You did not state you were only talking about leaving guns around were small children could accidentally shoot themselves, you said:

        ” I just think they should be a LOT more difficult to buy and I think gun owners should be held responsible for what happens with their firearms.”

        So that means when their gun was “Stolen” and taken out for a fun joy ride of shooting at the moon and it accidently or purposefully kills somebody.

        …and I beg to differ on how easy it is to get a car compared to a gun. I do not know anybody I could go up to today and ask if I could borrow their gun for a few hours. I know plenty of people who I can go to and ask if I can borrow their car for a few hours. In the latter case I do not need a license, registration, or anything other than the keys and some gas to go on my killing spree with my new weapon of choice, 3000 pounds of projectile steel.

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      • You did not state you were only talking about leaving guns around were small children could accidentally shoot themselves

        That’s because I wasn’t just talking about that particular issue. As you noted, I said “Gun owners should be held responsible for what happens with their firearms.”

        that means when their gun was “Stolen” and taken out for a fun joy ride of shooting at the moon and it accidently or purposefully kills somebody.

        Yes, it does include that. When you buy a firearm you voluntarily and knowingly assume the risks and responsibilities of firearm ownership. That’s a fundamental principle of civil law that applies to all sorts of ownership. For example, if you build a swimming pool in your back yard, you assume a legal responsibility to make sure it’s secure from the neighborhood kids who might be attracted to it and accidentally drown. You have that same duty as a gun owner.

        If your gun is stolen or if you ‘misplace’ it, you should be legally obligated to report it — but not all states require that, and most of the states that DO require it, fail to enforce the law. If you own a gun and it’s lost/stolen and you fail to report AND it’s used later in a crime, you should be held responsible for it. If you leave a firearm in a place where a child finds it and accidentally shoots somebody, you should be legally responsible for that. If you accidentally fire your weapon while cleaning it, while removing it from your coat pocket, while showing it to your buddy, then you should be legally responsible for whatever damage results.

        Sadly, the law rarely actually holds gun owners responsible for their negligence, even if somebody is accidentally shot or killed.

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  1. I saw this video posted this morning and about puked. How in hell… well I know the answer without asking. I can’t stand this! What really kills me inside is not this particular hateful, stupid message but how many are swayed by it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Seriously. I very nearly puked myself. This essay needs to come with a…well, I can’t say “trigger warning”, can I? There’s no place for puns when we’re discussing the clenched asshole of truth.

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