You know what? I don’t care that Anthony Weiner is apparently texting photos of his dick again. The guy obviously has a problem, but it’s his problem. I don’t need to read about it, I don’t want to see the photos, and I really don’t give a tinker’s fart about him or his dick.

I do care that his wife and his family will now have to go through a buttload of public humiliation simply because HE wants people to look at his dick. A lot of people enjoy seeing other folks get humiliated or degraded, of course; there’s an entire media industry devoted to humiliating and degrading people for profit. There are aspects of modern American society that are contemptible. I don’t like it, but it’s the price of freedom and all that, right? It’s just a fucking shame that the price has to be paid by Anthony Weiner’s wife and family.

Totally don’t care about this guy.

Here’s something else I don’t care about: Colin Kapernik Kapernich Kaepernick and whether he stands or sits during the national anthem. A lot of folks seem to be pretty pissed off about this, but Jeebus Compost — the guy is just a football player. The guy gets paid to play a violent (though sometimes beautiful) sports game. There are football players who beat and sexually assault women, there are football players who drive drunk, who get into bar brawls, who occasionally shoot at people and sometimes hit them. That sort of shit bothers me — not this Kaepernick unit and his refusal to stand in spite of tradition. I suspect Kaepernick’s political views aren’t very different from my own — but still, who cares? His political and/or moral positions are no more important to me than the person sitting at the next table in the coffee shop (well, maybe Kaepernick’s opinion carries a tad more weight with me because the woman at the next table ordered a pumpkin white mocha and it’s still August, for fuck’s sake). Colin Kaepernick can stand up, sit down, or spin around like a fucking dreidl — I just don’t care.

This guy, I totally care about. Both these guys, in fact.

I do care that the guy in the photo above stood up. I care that he made the effort, and I care why he made the effort. I don’t know the whole story behind the photo; it’s entirely possible the story that accompanies the photo is total bullshit. I like the story anyway. Here it is, all 21 words of it:

This 90 yr old stood up, Obama told him he didn’t have to stand. He said, “No Sir, you’re the President.”

That story about the nameless old man means a hell of a lot more to me than the pages that have been devoted to Kaepernick staying parked on his ass. I’m a veteran; I spent four years in active military harness. I stand up for presidents, even if I don’t like them. I stand up for the national anthem, even when I’m ashamed of some of the things my nation has done. I stand up for old folks, because getting old is hard work. And I stand up for the right to NOT stand up for presidents, national anthems, or old folks. It’s that price of freedom business again.

Finally, I don’t care if YOU care about these things. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t care about them; I’m just saying it doesn’t matter to me. You get to care about what you care about. I have friends who care deeply and passionately about things that seem totally meaningless to me. I know for a fact there are things I care about that mean nothing whatsoever to my friends and family (‘inbox’ is NOT a goddamn verb, people, it’s just NOT).

If I don’t care, then why am I writing this? Because I get email from folks asking me what I think about Colin Kaperwhatever not standing up or Anthony Weiner’s infatuation with his own dick. I’m writing this because I care about those folks and I don’t want them to think my failure to care about the crap they care about means I don’t care about them. If that makes sense.

If it doesn’t make sense…well, guess what.