my morning, interrupted

So I’m sitting here, right? It’s 9:30 on a Saturday morning, I’m drinking a cup of cold brew, looking out the window at drizzly-cloudy day, getting ready to read my students’ work. And the doorbell rings.

Guy in a suit. Young guy, white, earnest glasses, unsmiling. Right, Jehovah’s Witness. I open the door, he mutters something, hands me a pamphlet, and turns away. I didn’t even get a chance to say ‘Good morning.’ Not much of a witness — but hey, it’s 9:30 on a Saturday morning and it’s drizzly-cloudy. Who can blame him for wanting to finish his chores and go find a dry place where he can get a cup of…do Jehovah’s Witnesses drink coffee?

JW

Where can we find answers to life’s big questions? The pamphlet seems to suggest we can find them on our smartphone. Android phone, by the looks of it. Sorry, Siri. But what ARE life’s big questions? They’re listed on the back. Which of these big questions concerns you most? They’re not the questions I would have asked. Which is maybe one of the many reasons I’m not a Jehovah’s Witness.

What is the meaning of life?

Is God to blame for our suffering?

What happens when you die?

I’m a tad disturbed by the way the last two questions are phrased. Is God to blame for OUR suffering, and what happens when YOU die. Our suffering, your death. They don’t want to come right out and say ‘Dude, we know what’s going to happen when WE die, but you? Different story, bud.’

I don’t know…all I wanted was a cup of cold brew coffee, a few minutes to scan the news, then get my homework out of the way. Now I’m faced with these three questions. Fucking doorbell. Never should have answered the door. Never get out of the boat (no idea why Apocalypse Now popped into my brain).

Okay…meaning of life. I don’t know. Not very concerned about it. Eat well, get to know some interesting people, be curious, help other folks when you can. That ought to do it.

Is God to blame for our suffering? I don’t know. I don’t believe in god. But sure, why not? If you’re going to go to all the fuss and bother of believing in god, you might as well give him something to do. Shoulder the blame–that ought to keep him busy. And everybody who claims to speak for god, let’s hand them a share of the blame too. And let’s give a portion to all those young guys who ring doorbells at 9:30 on a Saturday morning — they sure as hell added to my suffering.

Right, what’s next? Oh…what happens when you die? I don’t know. Does it matter? I mean, regardless of what happens you’re still going to do it. It’s not like it’s optional. I totally get the idea that a lot of folks believe that if you live your life a certain way, then after you’re dead you get to join god’s special club. Like if you practice the clarinet, maybe you’ll get to play with the marching band. Or maybe you’ll just piss away a lot of time playing the clarinet. I don’t know. Can’t get very concerned about it.

By the way, I did a Google image search of ‘god clarinet’ to find a visual to include in this post. So okay, I don’t know the meaning of life and I don’t know what happens when you die, but I think this has to figure into it somehow:

clarinet cries for mercy

Seriously, you ought to do that image search. Brilliant. And that earnest young man who rang my doorbell this morning? If not for him, I’d have never seen this. Maybe there really is a god and this is his plan.

Her plan.

One of those. Praise Jeebus.

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7 thoughts on “my morning, interrupted

    • You know, that’s actually a good question. There’s enough evidence to accept the historicity of a Galilean called Jesus, and to accept that historical figure was crucified by Romans as a political criminal. That person was the inspiration for one of the great religions — and I generally refer to him as Jesus. I’m not a Christian, but I can totally respect a lot of what Jesus said.

      But the figure that so many Christians seem to believe in is quite a bit different from the Jesus of the Bible — and I call that character Jeebus. I got no respect for Jeebus.

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  1. I say Jeebus because I don’t want to be disrespectful to either Christ or those who follow him by taking the name Jesus in vain. I don’t know why Greg uses it. I don’t believe God is responsible for human suffering on accounta how we have free will. If you want to hold God responsible for the crap people do, you have to sacrifice free will. If you want to hold God responsible for things like storms and bridge failings, well then you have a whole lot bigger issues than free will. Then you want to sacrifice everything about yourself that makes you a human being, because at that point, you just want to be treated like a plastic doll that God moves from place to place. At that point, you’re asking God to remove all risk from life, and that’s just not possible. IMO, the answers to those questions are: 1. Love; 2. No; 3. I don’t know, but I bet it’s pretty freaking cool, whatever it is, whether there’s an all-powerful being named God up there, or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isn’t it interesting that some are trying to force their will not to believe onto those of us who do believe, and with an end result that we who do believe have to fear believing because we may be accused of not believing the non-believers.

    There, chew on that one!

    Liked by 1 person

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