I love a good protest. There’s nothing more American than a protest (except maybe guns or football — you know what would be SO COOL? If they played a football game on a field surrounded by trucks filled with guns). I’m a huge fan of the right to assemble freely and openly, to speak out against…well, almost any damned thing. It always makes me proud, even if the protest is something I disagree with. Even if the protest is stupid and pointless. And you guys, this IS that protest.

A million truck drivers are planning to show up in Washington, CD in their trucks and shut down America.

They’re not going to shut America down forever, of course. They’re only going to shut it down for three days in October. Just long enough to prove their point. And just what IS their point? I’m glad you asked.

According to RidefortheConstitution.org, “There are so many reasons we need to rise up.” SO MANY REASONS, you guys. And they listed a few of them, including:

Fuel prices are unnecessarily high. Every American is now paying $4-$5 per gallon because the rich say so. The USA can drill for oil TOMORROW and bring the price of gasoline and diesel under $1.00 a gallon but we are slaves to a bunch of Saudi’s.

We now support Al Qaeda. This must end immediately.

Obama must be impeached for the crimes he has committed while in office. Period. This is not a conspiracy theory, it is a fact. The only reason why he has not been impeached is because Congress refuses to.

The US Constitution is being torn apart. We must arrest and try all legislators who violate the US Constitution.

There are so many cover-ups it is almost impossible to list them here.  Benghazi, Seal Team 6 Six, Osama Bin Laden death, drug running (CIA) and gun running by the US Justice Department.

There you go. The truckers just want the US to drill for oil tomorrow so we can stop being slaves to the Saudis. Is that so unreasonable? Also, they want the US to stop supporting al Qaeda and impeach President Obama (which is totally NOT a conspiracy theory — or any sort of theory at all, but mostly not a conspiracy theory). The truckers also want us to know the only reason Obama hasn’t been impeached yet is because Congress hasn’t impeached him yet. So clearly, the truckers think Congress ought to be arrested for violating the Constitution by not impeaching Obama yet.

Also Benghazi (clearly we don’t know the whole truth there on account of Hilary Clinton isn’t in prison). And Seal Team Six (I guess Obama made their helicopter crash, which is totally an impeachable offense). And Osama bin Laden (who, it seems, died ten years ago and his body is being kept in liquid nitrogen so it can be used as a propaganda tool at a future politically expedient time — frozen Osama, you guys). Plus some other very serious issues, all of which can be dealt with by driving 1,000,000 trucks into the District of Columbia.

The truckers want your support in their effort to shut down America. You, the ordinary non-al Qaeda-supporting citizens of America. They not only want your support, they demand it.

 If you are a fed, a member of the US Military, a law enforcement official, or a member of the judicial system, you have sworn an oath.  You will either join us in upholding you oath, or you will immediately be considered our domestic enemy. The choice is yours.

We want a peaceful resolution.  We don’t even want this event to take place.  If on October 10th, all congressman and senators agree to follow the US Constitution and the law, the event is not necessary.  If they REFUSE to do so, they will be personally responsible for collapsing our system of commerce. The choice is theirs.

They’re really going to do it, all those truckers. They don’t want to, but they’re being forced to because nobody else will enforce the Constitution. So it’s up to truck drivers to deal with it.

It’s totally going to happen. They’re absolutely no-shit going to shut down America. I know this for a fact because somebody told this guy it was going to happen. And this guy, who I’ve never met or heard of, has never lied to me before.

So if you’re like me — if you love a good protest — then you won’t want to miss it when one million trucks jam themselves into downtown DC. Or maybe not a full million. I mean, there are only about 3.5 million truckers in the entire United States, and fewer that 400,000 of them are independent truckers. The rest drive for trucking companies. But I’m sure those companies will be willing to give their drivers a couple days off, and pay for the fuel to get their trucks to DC and back again. They’ll be proud to give up those profits because that’s the American way. And no doubt all those independent truckers will be delighted to give up a couple of days of their time and drive their own trucks to DC at their own expense.

And when they do, they’ll totally shut down America. Because…you know, freedom. It’s what Chuck Norris would want.